SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I thought I was going to need an anullment, but the other day, I had a thought that makes me believe I don't.

I married ex-H in church, by a priest. That is what made me think that I would need an anullment.

BUT, I recently remembered that my ex-H has never been baptized. So, how can the marriage be sacramental? And if it's not sacramental, there's no need for an anullment.

Am I right?

Best to talk to a priest for canon law interpretation.

Hi honey

I also recommend you talk to an expert.

The rules have changed a lot in recent years and they don't always make it easier.

eg My sister's 1st husband had been married before. He and his wife married in a registry office. They divorced and my sister met him years later. When my sister wanted to marry him she could not get married in the Catholic church even though she was Catholic and had never been married. He was not Catholic. So the rules are complicated

Laura

The Chancery is the part of the Catholic Church that handles annulments. You should contact your Archdiocese Chancery office.

I only know this because my aunt worked for the Chancery in Brooklyn NY for years.

I'm not an expert, but I did some research when I was thinking about an annulment. If I remember correctly, you do still need an annulment, but it's easier to get than an annulment of a sacramental marriage. I think you need to prove that your ex wasn't baptized, and it's automatically granted, unlike an annulment alleging lack of intent, etc, which may or may not be granted.

Again, I'm not sure of this, but I think I remember learning this when I was researching.

Good luck!

I am going thru the Anullment process now.

Each church has an Advocate who is specifically trained in Annulment. In my parish it isn't a priest, but the Director of education.

Talk to them... they know all the info you will need in how to get annulled or how to proceed with getting married in the church.

Good luck,

K

hurtinky, do you need an annulment? or does he? I'm protestant, so definitely not knowledgeable, but had always thought the main point to an annulment was if you wanted to get remarried.

If he's looking to get remarried, I say screw it, let him do the legwork. Not your job!

my H's annulment from his XW came in the mail today. i was also raised catholic and my dad really wants me to get one from XH. i've done a lot of research myself...in a couple different diocese. i still need an annulment even though my XH wasn't catholic or even christian. your priest "blessed the marriage" on behalf of the church so it counts.

typically, if you get cheated on you can get an annulment. it's one of the "unambiguous" grounds.

you do need one to get married again in the catholic church, or to have your second M recognized by the church. also, some people just like the completeness of an annulment. a clean break...acknowledgement that it was so unlike a real marriage that it doesn't count at all.

i'm not a priest or church member even, so obviously, what i've posted here is things as i understand them. certain aspects like how difficult or detailed a process it will be can vary from diocese to diocese. your Advocate is definitely the place to start.

the annulment H got yesterday was initiated by his 1st wife, to whom he was married 22 years and with whom he raised two kids. it's the most ridiculous petition i've ever read and they granted that...no infidelity at all. she got pissed that he divorced her after 22 years of arguing and other intractable issues. so she pretty much called him a defective immature a-hole and they gave it to her. he's happy about it. and this was in texas...rather conservative, i'd think.

good luck.

[This message edited by stretch13 at 11:24 AM, March 20th (Wednesday)]

typically, if you get cheated on you can get an annulment. it's one of the "unambiguous" grounds.

Actually, that is not the case. An anullment is only granted if you prove to the tribunal that the sacrament was not valid at the time it occurred. What a WS did/didn't do after that does not matter. Now, if the WS was cheating at or around the time of the sacrament, that would in and of itself prove that it was not valid. But cheating 5/10/15 years later is not sufficient reason.

Contact your church. They will assign you an advocate who will walk you through the process.

My XH was not baptized either. However, the church will view us as married until the anullment is final. I turned in my paperwork last spring (April or May) to the deacon at my church. I recently (last week) received a letter in the mail letting me know the first instance of the court has approved my request to annul the marriage. I'm waiting for the second instance to start and hopefully find the same result. I also hope it doesn't take as long as the first instance did. I can't choose a date of marriage with the church until it's all done.

Like need_hope said, the marriage can only be annulled if you can prove a sacrament did not occur at the time of the marriage. Cheating does not automatically grant an anullment.

My brother & I both had our first marriages annulled..

My brother's ex wasn't catholic so his annulment was a lot easier than mine with a lot less questions..

It is best to talk to your priest to see what they say

When I wanted to get married in the Catholic Church, I had to get my first marriage annulled. I was married in Methodist Church. Because we were married by a minister, the Catholic Church required the annulment. My fiancé did not have to get one. He and wife were Catholic but not married in a church. They were married by a justice of the peace.

My priest said that due to husband's infidelity, I would be granted an annulment.

Best advice is to check with your priest and let him help you start the process.

I know the process, unfortunately. I had to get one for my first marriage, when I was converting. It took over two years, I thought the process was excrutiating, and it pissed my ex and his family off, fiercely, and I hated that because I am not on bad terms with him and I adore his family. (Thankfully, they got over it...)

I really dread it because it will be worse this time.

I know a lot of folks say that the process can be healing, but that wasn't the case for me. It just stirred up a lot of bad memories and crap that I'd rather not think about again. And it will be worse with this annulment.

I really dread it.

An anullment is only granted if you prove to the tribunal that the sacrament was not valid at the time it occurred.

the advocates i spoke with explained to me that someone who cheats has broken the marriage covenant, and therefore did not have the mental maturity or strength to enter into a valid marriage, even if the marriage took place years ago.

i've not yet seen anyone denied an annulment when there was infidelity, including my sister and several catholic friends.

that said, it really does vary by diocese and tribunal.