Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying



Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library


Contact Us
In Association with
Infidelity -
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
Newest Member: Greg (45364)

Wayward Side Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: why do i do what I do
♂ New Member
Member # 38559
Default  Posted: 3:46 PM, May 17th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My BS is the one who told me about this site, and yes I am much better at getting out whats in my head and heart on paper then i am with speaking directly to her. When ever we speak face to face there is always some type of negative tone of voice from us both, name calling and insults come quick and often. Being able to type or write things down gives me the time I need to think before I speak rather then flying off the cuff in a verbal chat. Communication has always been somewhat of an issue.

Constant screw-up

Posts: 11 | Registered: Feb 2013
♂ New Member
Member # 38559
Default  Posted: 3:46 PM, May 17th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

[This message edited by fulloflies at 3:47 PM, May 17th (Friday)]

Constant screw-up

Posts: 11 | Registered: Feb 2013
♀ Member
Member # 24849
Default  Posted: 4:34 PM, May 17th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

are you or have you considered IC (individual counseling)?

FWW - 41
"Don't think first about the risks of speaking up. Think first about the risks of not speaking up." ~ Kerry Patterson

Posts: 5980 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: So Cal.....
♂ New Member
Member # 38559
Default  Posted: 11:27 PM, May 18th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

After she walked out of our last session with the MC I went back to see him on my own. I have only seen him once since then but I do plan on seeing him again even if she doesn't want to go. I guess it was sorta helpful to see him by myself, I did get out a lot of things that were on my mind, but I don't know if it really helped me to resolve any of my issues, it just let me vent. The other half of that problem is I have very limited funds on which to see someone other then the MC, I couldn't afford to do MC and IC so kinda stuck there.
And today really sucked, I have been searching for a new job for weeks and weeks, but the market is so dry right now, and since I have no college degree its hard to find something that will give me the same level of health care I get with my current job. Since my health care takes care of me my BS and our kids, I have been looking for something that is in the same field of work I currently do, and I have been on a few interviews but no one comes close to the health care I get now. Really feel stuck damned if I do damned if I don't.
My BS wants me to leave my current job ever since DD and I have been looking but like I said I feel trapped, can't afford not to have health care for my family, yet cannot find anything even close to what we get now. Every day I go to work I know it kills her but wtf can I do. If I wasn't looking at all I could understand but I look everyday and have just not been able to find anything. She acts as if I'm never going to leave when all I have been doing is trying to leave. How do I respond/react to that? God I wish I had never done any of this is so wasn't worth any of the shit we are going through now.
And to make matters worse, I was doing a little reading online, and the site I was on talked about divorce, separation, marriage, children, communication, and my BS just happened to come in while I was looking and all she saw was divorce and separation and now she thinks I no longer want to try and R which is not true, and I wasn't even looking at that section of the site I was reading about communication at the time. She stormed out of the room all upset and I tried to follow after to explain but she just spouted out a bunch of hateful things to me and wouldn't even let me try to explain. FML, what the hell did I do? Trust gone, marriage failing, R seems out of reach, Work not able to find another one fast enough. I am so down right now, nothing seems to be going my way at all, and I know I am to blame for most of it which sucks that much more

[This message edited by fulloflies at 11:27 PM, May 18th (Saturday)]

Constant screw-up

Posts: 11 | Registered: Feb 2013
Topic Posts: 24
Pages: 1 · 2

Return to Forum: Wayward Side Post Reply to this Topic
Go to :
© 2002 - 2014 All Rights Reserved.