SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Decided to start dating again after a brief rest period to deal with my xgf issue. I'm pretty stable now with only a few triggers coming up now and again.

I met a lovely woman and had a very nice first date with her last week. What I find a little eerie is how the date ended. She jumped me in the car on the way back from the coffee shop.

I'm not against sexual expression by any means and found her advances flattering. I certainly enjoyed the encounter.

When I wanted to call her last week however, she emailed that she would be out of town (no cell phone). I called her a few days ago and asked how her week was and she stated,"just fine" and changed the subject.

At this point in a relationship I don't think either party has much business poking around, but the brush off about her week, and the out of town with no cell phone excuse sounds an awful lot like the "jewelry party" and "I spent too much money" that my X used as a cover for her ONS.

I will proceed with all due caution. I want to ask for some help from the forum and get some feedback as to what everyone thinks is going on.

BTW the first date with my new friend ended a lot like my first date with the Xgf. Coincidence? Reason for the disquiet? What say you?

[This message edited by phoenixrivers at 12:03 PM, March 22nd (Friday)]

Coincidence? Reason for the disquiet? What say you?

Maybe something similar, maybe a coincidence. Reasons don’t always matter. It’s early, so being 100% accountable for your time is a lot to ask, but being able to communicate freely isn’t. If you don’t feel that is possible with this girl, it might just not be a match.

You can waste a lot of time explaining away behavior that makes you uncomfortable because it doesn’t necessarily mean “that,” but the behavior itself can be enough.

Proceed with caution, trust your gut.

Thanks for you time and response Crescita. Good advice about worrying more about the behavior than the reasons. I'll see if there's anymore disquiet as a result of behavior.

I always laugh at the no cell phone because only a small percent of my family and friends have them. Not everybody owns one because either they cannot afford it, live in an area with no coverage or just don't want one. I am not saying to ignore red flags but I just don't think not having a cell phone would be one of them for me.

Thanks gardenparty, She got a cell phone two days ago and showed me yesterday. I have her number now, so I think perhaps you were right; she just couldn't afford one not on her daughter's plan and had to wait till they shipped it to her.