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New Beginnings :
Akward moment at the Night club

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 ManBearDivorce (original poster member #36258) posted at 8:14 AM on Sunday, March 24th, 2013

One of my friend invited me to a night club for some beer. Got all dressed up and got there but I noticed my XWW car there. Seems to be just like my X's but I said "whats the odds". Went in to meet my good friend and saw the OM. He was there because he is friends with birthday boy and my XWW is there too. I Stayed because I felt like I had to do this one time to know I am done with her. I had a blast and still confided with me and my friends only.

2x4 needed here though. Bumped into my Xww while dancing and man do I regret dancing with her. I should of avoided her but the feeling of familiarity and my drunkeness took over me. Danced with her for a bit and talked for a bit. Shit it was stupid of me. Now that I am home I have a uneasy stomach. I didn't do anything else. Please 2x4 so I can smack myself back to reality. Going for a run tomorrow morning to try to get me back to ME!

posts: 342   ·   registered: Jul. 25th, 2012   ·   location: St.Paul Minnesota
id 6270281
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stronger08 ( member #16953) posted at 9:07 AM on Sunday, March 24th, 2013

No 2X4 from me. You learned a lesson and dont forget it. Its good you did not go any further. And Im sure the OM was thrilled that your XWW was so engrossed in you while dancing and talking. I'd love to be a fly on the wall when they got home. Seems to me you showed restraint and exibited to them that life goes on.

You cant eat soup with chopsticks.

posts: 6851   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2007
id 6270292
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 ManBearDivorce (original poster member #36258) posted at 10:43 AM on Sunday, March 24th, 2013

We was sitting up on the VIP seating and I even introduced my friend to OM because he was just standing around sipping on his beer. I really wanted to show him how I felt that day back then but I kinda have gotten over that. I calmed my nerves and manned up.

XWW said to me why I was there and I said it was my weekend without the kids. I said why she was there and where the kids are. I think she kinda got mad at me for saying that. She always said all I wanted to do was have fun. :)

posts: 342   ·   registered: Jul. 25th, 2012   ·   location: St.Paul Minnesota
id 6270298
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I.will.survive ( member #34677) posted at 2:18 PM on Sunday, March 24th, 2013

Actually, that would piss me off that it was her night to have the kids and she was out. WTH? If you take turns with the children, why couldn't she go out another night when she doesn't have to leave them with a babysitter?

Interesting you introduced the OM to your buddy. Liquid courage or healing? Don't give the dancing another thought. Hoping it caused tension with her and the OM.

posts: 1722   ·   registered: Jan. 30th, 2012   ·   location: east coast
id 6270360
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better4me ( member #30341) posted at 4:50 PM on Sunday, March 24th, 2013

One of my dear friends has a wonderful saying about situations like this "You don't know where your limit is until you cross it." Now, you know a little bit more about what gives you a queasy stomach. Don't cross that line again. It will be easier to not engage in so much interaction when you run into them next time.

DDay 11/17/2010 BW:58
Happily remarried!

posts: 4246   ·   registered: Dec. 9th, 2010   ·   location: Missouri
id 6270491
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persevere ( member #31468) posted at 5:19 PM on Sunday, March 24th, 2013

Considering the different scenarios that could have played out, you did really well.

DDay:2011
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.

posts: 5329   ·   registered: Mar. 9th, 2011
id 6270529
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 ManBearDivorce (original poster member #36258) posted at 6:03 PM on Sunday, March 24th, 2013

I.will.survive - I have given that a thought and I said forget it. Don't care what she does with the kids. Only do what you can when you have the kids. Can't make her a great mom. Not my job anymore.

stronger08/better4me - Well I have met OM on some occasions and he is pretty docile. Like a obedient dog. Something that XWW can boss around. Doesn't say much but I know he takes care of my kids sometimes. I wouldn't want to do something to make him angry. KWIM? I rather show him I am a great guy then to let him make me a bad figure.

You don't know where your limit is until you cross it.

Wise words and I will take it. I feel better now that I have given out my thoughts. I called one of my sister friends last night and had a chat with her too. I guess I have to rebuild that wall and make it stronger. Thanks guys/gals for all the tips!

posts: 342   ·   registered: Jul. 25th, 2012   ·   location: St.Paul Minnesota
id 6270580
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damncutekitty ( member #5929) posted at 4:33 AM on Monday, March 25th, 2013

If it makes you feel any better I drunken booty-called my XH more than once back when I was first divorced.

12/18/15 found out my now EX boyfriend was trolling CL for underage girls. From the cops. The fun never stops.

posts: 49560   ·   registered: Nov. 29th, 2004   ·   location: Minneapolis
id 6271202
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sadsand ( new member #32874) posted at 5:36 AM on Monday, March 25th, 2013

Wow...I wish I was a dude cause if I would've cried for years as soon as I saw XH's car.

Me: 26 trying to accept all this
Him: 25 and still matters for some dumb reason
2 awesome kids 5 & 7
"...Charlie found the golden ticket, he did, sand, HE DID"

posts: 29   ·   registered: Jul. 24th, 2011   ·   location: Texas
id 6271236
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