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Newest Member: whathappensnext (45075)

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User Topic: Hair....Really?
hurtbs
♀ Member
Member # 10866
Default  Posted: 10:18 PM, March 25th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How offensive. How offensive. I'm sorry for you. If you don't want to report her to HR, then I would log these comments in case she tries to get you fired over your natural (aka in her mind "ethnic" and thus "intimidating" hair).

Good Hari by Chris Rock is a great education tool. Perhaps leave it on her desk from her "secret santa"


Me BW Him XSAWH
DDays 2006, and then numerous more
Divorced 2012

"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid


Posts: 15325 | Registered: Jun 2006
Sad in AZ
♀ Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 10:22 PM, March 25th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Definitely racist.


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20229 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
Faithful w/Love
♀ Member
Member # 33128
Default  Posted: 8:51 AM, March 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so sorry that someone hurt you.
As far as your hair, it is beautiful.
My children are bi-racial. My DD18, has more hair then any white and black put together, I use to take her to the black salons and they didn't even want to mess with it because it took to much time to relax it. So I thought myself how to do braids, designes, relax, cut, weaves, ect, I decieded when she was about 8 to stop relaxing her hair because with her being at the pool in the summer and having the chemicals on her hair were just to much without a cap and she hated her cap. So we opted for the natural look. Wow, what a differece, she has not used a relaxer in 10 years, She can straighten her hair, curl her hair, wear it in a afro, or really curly and kinky(my favorit).

NikkiD, I know some people can be very curl, have no tact about them, just remember that some people live in fear of the unknown and never want to change. How sad it that? You on the other hand are expressing what is natuarlly beautiful and how God made your hair and I say you can rock it

I know it hurts but don't allow fowl people get under your skin because they are miserable.


BS(ME)40 WH(HIM)38
DD 20 and DS 15
Separated Aug 2012

Moved back home Oct 31 2013
Separated again June 2014. Heading toward divorce.
False R. Still Lying.
Will be divorcing soon!
"You never know how strong you are until being strong


Posts: 2731 | Registered: Aug 2011
Holly-Isis
♀ Member
Member # 13447
Default  Posted: 10:09 AM, March 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was hoping that my kids (especially DD) would be born with the dark curly hair MrH's cousins all have. I love it! They didn't. I've spent most of my life trying to get some sort of body into my hair.

I love the look you posted.

One of my good friends in HS had the most beautiful hair. Unlike the other girls that used relaxers, he's was softer curls. I asked her once what she did that the other girls didn't...she washed it more and to combat it drying out, she conditioned it with olive oil.

Sounds like your coworker is a fool. At the very least she's culturally ignorant.


"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

Posts: 11197 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Just a fool in limbo
sullymeishadomi
♀ Member
Member # 16305
Default  Posted: 12:35 PM, March 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Someone o th


People tell you exactly who they are...why expect them to be what they are not ....will be divorcing the selfish creep.

Posts: 8305 | Registered: Sep 2007
sadtoo
♀ Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 12:49 PM, March 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so sorry someone said something so insensitive.

Ignore the ignorant and the uninformed.

I also live in the Midwest and I too have extremely curly hair. I wanted Marsha Brady hair so bad, I would cry. Like you, I would blow dry, iron, chemically treat, etc. Finally after 25 or so years and considering all the damage (not to mention the $) I said f-this and went all-natural. Hahaha! Remember Rosanna Rosanna Danna (sp) ?? That's me! And the more humidity, the bigger it gets. The longer I went not heating and or treating, the less hair I had breaking off or falling out, so now I have WAY MORE to fluff up and fly around.

I really got the looks too. And the comments. My opinion? They're just jealous. They only wish they had 1/2 the beautiful head of hair you have.


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 8027 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
sullymeishadomi
♀ Member
Member # 16305
Default  Posted: 12:50 PM, March 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Someone on the top of the second oage of this thread said something that was a red flag to me. Im leaning more toward talking to HR. The womans comment may possibly be due to ignorant (depending on her background), but it comes off as racist and if she or someone wanted to make waves. Based on my new distrusting beliefs I agree to document everything.

What bothered me initially when I first read your post was you felt the need to post what style you wear. It pisses me off when people make others feel badly or feel the need to defend themselves. That said, I am so curious what your hair does look like after all this hair talk. Hey, I may be girlie challenged when it comes to things like doing one's hair, but I am still a girl and loves photos of hair, clothes, etc.

SG...what the flying fuck!!! A dyke because you wear short hair and youre warned to not go shorter?! Omg!!! People need to get a life! Now Im thinking of when I lived in northern colorado. When women got married they got this one type of hair cut. Its like a mans haircut with a poodle puff on the top. To know if a woman was married you didnt need to see a wedding ring, just look at her hair, lol.

People here have hair issue's, too. There's a white guy with dreds. A woman with very short hair (she is also very athletic), and a few others with colorful hair. I hear comments all the time. But this is a small town. Formerly farm land, secluded from the rest of the world type situation. They dont adjust easily.

Btw....dominican salons (at least in nyc) are skilled at and love to straighten hair if thats what anyone wants.

Damd! Its just hair. How we wear it is an expression of us. I would consider a scowel more threatening (and in some instances, ignorance) than a hair style.

Lordy.


People tell you exactly who they are...why expect them to be what they are not ....will be divorcing the selfish creep.

Posts: 8305 | Registered: Sep 2007
veritas
♀ Member
Member # 3525
Default  Posted: 1:06 PM, March 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Up until a few years ago, my mother and my xMIL hated dreadlocks. They told their sons and mine that nobody would hire them, they were inherently dirty, blah blah. Well, now that my son is in college and has been offered a job by someone in his college before he even graduates, they are singing a different tune. Of course, xMIL's son still doesn't have a job, but I believe that's because of his diagnosed personality disorder.

Hair is polarizing even among black people, and I get and have gotten flack for years about my hair being natural. Sometimes I wear it curly, sometimes I wear it wavy, sometimes I go the whole flat-iron look, and I like having that versatility, being able to wet my hair and run with it, or spend hours on it if I choose. I also don't judge people for their hair choices -- you can be natural, loc'd, dyed, fried, laid to the side, it's all good with me.

*except for a cheap-looking wig or weave*


Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

Posts: 10168 | Registered: Feb 2004
sadtoo
♀ Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 1:09 PM, March 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

*except for a cheap-looking wig or weave*

Come on, V. Don't go judging! I throw on a hair piece in a pinch!!


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 8027 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
veritas
♀ Member
Member # 3525
Default  Posted: 1:11 PM, March 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's why I said cheap-looking, not cheap! Girl, I have some clip-ons, and I love me a wig!

[This message edited by veritas at 1:11 PM, March 26th (Tuesday)]


Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

Posts: 10168 | Registered: Feb 2004
sullymeishadomi
♀ Member
Member # 16305
Default  Posted: 2:06 PM, March 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

T/j wig question. One of my customers came in. She was wearing a wig bc in her words she was tired of doing her hair. She was embarrassed. Whats the stigma with wearing a wig? I personally dont see an issue. Hell, dolly parton brags about all of hers and my friend said I blew hers off everytime I said something that made her laugh.

From a hairstyle challenged chick, whats thr fruckas?


People tell you exactly who they are...why expect them to be what they are not ....will be divorcing the selfish creep.

Posts: 8305 | Registered: Sep 2007
NikkiD
♀ Member
Member # 38173
Default  Posted: 2:29 PM, March 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks guys!!!!

I am HR, but she is on the exec board, so Im pretty sure she will get a pass.

Its just disheartnening because hair is such a non-factor in a persons performance. Hair texture is an adaptation, as is skin tone.

I like the secret Santa, "Good Hair" idea. Im not waiting until Christman though!!!!!

There was a part in the movie where Chris went to a hair store and asked for "nappy" hair and the lady turned her nose up at him so tough..."dont nobody want no nappy hair.." she said...but, now, you can actually buy "kinky" weave!!!!


"Spoil me with Loyalty; I can finance myself...."
ME: BS-33
HE: WS-32
Married 3 years, known 20
2 kids
D-Day #1 12/30/12
False Recovery
D-Day #2 1/21/14
LTA 5 years-ish
Riding the "Struggle Bus"
Living apart....

Posts: 668 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Midwest
NikkiD
♀ Member
Member # 38173
Default  Posted: 2:31 PM, March 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Btw....dominican salons (at least in nyc) are skilled at and love to straighten hair if thats what anyone wants.

I've heard!!! I want try them out.


"Spoil me with Loyalty; I can finance myself...."
ME: BS-33
HE: WS-32
Married 3 years, known 20
2 kids
D-Day #1 12/30/12
False Recovery
D-Day #2 1/21/14
LTA 5 years-ish
Riding the "Struggle Bus"
Living apart....

Posts: 668 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Midwest
tryinghard2013
♀ Member
Member # 37981
Default  Posted: 2:36 PM, March 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a Butt Wipe, some people are just total idiots besides I think the style you mentioned is great, I love that look

Posts: 129 | Registered: Jan 2013
leapyearbaby
♀ Member
Member # 24902
Default  Posted: 11:51 PM, March 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Some people....how stupid and fearful she is.

I have to admit your story somewhat ironic for me. Although I am whiter than whiter I have curly kinky hair that I have fought all my life. A few years ago I discovered the 'ethnic' (which in itself is a little annoying that it has to 'named')part of the hairstyling aisle and I have to say...you guys have much better stuff than us white people. Organic, natural...GOOD for your hair. I have switched completely.

So while she is dissing you for what you were born with, I was grateful to finally find something good.

SG: Lesbian hair? Really?


me BS the Big 6-0!!
him WS 56
married 28 years
together 31
DD 6/10/08
ow #1,2 lta on and off since 1995
ow 3 ons summer 2005
2 D, mine from prior marriage, but he raised them
R'ing...probably not....but then again, maybe....


Posts: 1375 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Colorado
SouthernGal
♀ Member
Member # 27315
Default  Posted: 4:03 AM, March 27th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

leapyearbaby,

Oh yeah. Welcome to the Deep South. Home to vegetables that count as meat dishes, deep fried everything, and the gateway to "Lost in the 80s hair."

I've been told on more than one occasion since my divorce (which is when I cut my hair off and went back to the hair I love) that if I ever hope to find a man I need to let my hair grow. Because apparently, "Men are gonna think you're one of those lesbians with your hair all short. Bless your heart."

I mean I am bisexual and I am not currently interested in finding a man (or woman either) ... But I so don't want to reinforce the stereotype that I keep that to myself.


BS (Me) XWH (him) M nearly 16 yrs
1 DD (teens)
D-day #1 12/09, #2 2/10
Divorced 10/6/10

Posts: 3862 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: The Deep (Fried) South
Unagie
♀ Member
Member # 37091
Default  Posted: 4:05 AM, March 27th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nikki I to to two salons in nyc one specializes in curly hair and they cut, dye and style my curls for me. The other one is a dominican salon I've been going to for years for the couple weeks a year I go straight. They are great and EVERYONE is taken from wavy to kinky without an issue.


Heartbroken madhatter trying to rebuild

No longer together

"To be loyal to myself is to allow myself to grow and change, and challenge who I am and what I think."


Posts: 2756 | Registered: Oct 2012
Topic Posts: 37
Pages: 1 · 2

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