Instead, he continues to live with OW and those very few inlaws I am still in contact with say that he is extremely pompous and very different acting. No remorse.

Is this the fog, or stage of mid life crisis? I tend to think both, but know each subject has critics.

For everyone else who found out, I now feel embarished to talk to them. I know I shouldn't but that is the way it is.

I also discovered I didn't want my friendships based on an affair. The affair rob so much of my life. I didn't want this also.

I have told my boss only because I was such an emotional wreck when I went to work on Dday and a week later told my closest girls at work who is going through something similar. I wasn't planning on telling the girl but she called me on vacation, when she was supposed to be in Mexico but came home early because her H abused her twice at the hotel. It happened the same day as my H slept with the OW for the last time (day before Dday) so when she told me I just shouted "what the hell is up with that Tuesday" and spilled my guts.

Of course I have also told my therapist about what is going on too. I hate pretending but my mask must be pretty good because no one seems to know about the pain I am in.

He is the only one who knows and I told fWW had it was hard as several of you here know, but my brother who lives across the street and whom I am very close to does not know. She did say that if I felt I needed to talk to him, I should. Honestly just her offering me the chance to was enough of a jesture that I doubt I will.