Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: doihavechoice (44727)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Phone Cheating
betrayed0199
♂ New Member
Member # 38720
Default  Posted: 7:08 AM, March 28th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My significant other has an older phone, and an ipad. I'm quite sure she is cheating with a lot of re flags but no definite proof. Her phone never has any text minutes used and the calls are all people she normally talks to. Is it possible these people just let all calls go to voicemail and then respond. Her phone is always on ring mute and also claimed it wouldn't ring at all (wrong) or on vibrate and always keeps it close by. Any ideas, I know I am missing something here. Her phone has messaging capability SMS capabilities but doesn't that use text minutes? Thanks

[This message edited by betrayed0199 at 7:31 AM, March 28th (Thursday)]


Posts: 19 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Indiana
heartbrokennlost
♀ Member
Member # 37500
Default  Posted: 7:28 AM, March 28th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is her phone a smart phone? There are free texting apps. She could also use this feature on her ipad.


Me-44
FWS-41
Son-18mnths
Son-18yrs
Son-22yrs
Son-18
Son-22
Son-17
Son-21

Posts: 87 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: heartbrokennlost
betrayed0199
♂ New Member
Member # 38720
Default  Posted: 7:33 AM, March 28th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's not a smart phone, though she is asking for one. I did once check her VM and what I would consider a coded message was there. She said she had no idea what it meant.

Posts: 19 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Indiana
betrayed0199
♂ New Member
Member # 38720
Default  Posted: 7:33 AM, March 28th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ipad messaging looks clean as if there has been no activity at all.

[This message edited by betrayed0199 at 7:39 AM, March 28th (Thursday)]


Posts: 19 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Indiana
Happydays
♂ Member
Member # 38681
Default  Posted: 7:41 AM, March 28th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi,
If she is asking for a smartphone give her one. There are softwares in the market or vendors who will sell preloaded smartphones which will give you call listening, message reading and movement tracking ability without the suspect knowing.

This is only if you suspect foul play.
I feel horrible to type all this, but....


BH 33
FWW 32
DS: 3 year old.
Dday 10/14/2012
No remorse so:
Divorced 02/15/2013. No alimony, no CS, got apartment. Won all battles and mind games off the courts.

Posts: 294 | Registered: Mar 2013
Chefj9
♀ Member
Member # 38604
Default  Posted: 8:17 AM, March 28th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There are so many apps for calling, texting, etc.... If she's on wifi, non of it will show up as data or usage.


ME - BS 49, Him - WS 46 trying to "R"
4 DD's - blended 25, 15, 15 and 12
Multi DDays the grand finale 5/13/2013
From here on out, I am only interested in what is real. Real people, real feelings, that's it, that's all I'm intere

Posts: 470 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Texas
betrayed0199
♂ New Member
Member # 38720
Default  Posted: 8:46 AM, March 28th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The imessage capability of the Ipad has no contacts listed other than family. She says she has no idea how to use imessage and that she's never used it.

Posts: 19 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Indiana
Jospehine85
♀ Member
Member # 35971
Default  Posted: 9:17 AM, March 28th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well if her iMessage has only family members listed, think about it. There are only 2 ways to get names in there: Add manually, import address book already on ipad.

Check her address book on the ipad. If she has other names besides family in her address book, she has added the family names manually.

There are lots of apps out there that allow messaging via internet. Skype. Google +, Facebook, etc. Even games have chat ability. I talk to my brother mainly through our Words With Friends games.

If they want to cheat, they can hide it. The question to ask yourself is: Is she behaving like a loving, transparent, equal partner in this relationship?

If the answer is no, talk to her about it.Tell her you want transparency. Ask for explanations and question the explanations. If she has nothing to hide, she won't be defensive.

If the behaviors don't improve, are you willing to live with it or willing to walk away?

The person most willing to walk away in a relationship has the most power.


Me - BS 40s
WH - 50s
4 Kids
Dday May 2012

Posts: 836 | Registered: Jun 2012
betrayed0199
♂ New Member
Member # 38720
Default  Posted: 12:09 PM, March 28th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks folks, There are only family names in the IPAD contact list. My guess is she is using her telephone like a call catcher and then using another phone to call back probably from work. She's the most computer illiterate person I know so someone is definitely coaching her. I caught her in a lie last week and she was nervous as hell. Instead of pushing it more I let her have some time to think about it. Her answer was the lamest excuse I have every heard. She made a few phone calls to friends and my trail evaporated instantly. Another gal left a call on her VM stating in a coded message that everything had been taken care of. She does have an AOL account that I found out from an application she filled out. She said it wasn't hers and the company put that in there. Companies have NO idea what your email address is unless you tell them. Lying weasel.

Posts: 19 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Indiana
hopefulmother
♀ Member
Member # 38790
Default  Posted: 1:02 PM, March 28th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

lol- I just saw a man pushing for an App that allows people to cheat on SHARKS about a month ago. It will allow calls from the person "park" in some cyber-space until the user retrieves them. In turn, their phone will never ring or show the calls to alert the spouse what is up. So sick, that society now endorses cheaters.


Me-BW 39
WH-39
D-day 9-4-12
Major TT 8-14
Friends for 20yrs dating since 2000
Married 9yrs with 2 toddlers
My wedding band is a symbol of hope, forgiveness, love, and grace.

Posts: 933 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: PA
Edith
♀ Member
Member # 38337
Default  Posted: 3:02 PM, March 28th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey betrayed,
First thing I would do is gather all of her electronic devices, phone, iPad, laptop, netbook, etc. Carefully package them up into a box that fits conveniently into your grill. Place said box in the grill. A regular grill is preferable to a gas grill, since you will want to use plenty of lighter fluid on those babies.

Making sure you are a safe distance from your house or any other structures you may want to preserve, I would douse the entire box and its contents with copious lighter fluid and ignite. Be certain to add more lighter fluid as needed to maintain the conflagration. The melting plastic will give you a deep sense of satisfaction and a much more positive future outlook. Trust me.

E.

[This message edited by Edith at 3:02 PM, March 28th (Thursday)]


Lies are manipulations. Always.

Posts: 365 | Registered: Feb 2013
Jospehine85
♀ Member
Member # 35971
Default  Posted: 3:49 PM, March 28th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Betrayed0199 if you want to ever get an honest explanation, don't give her time to make up a lie.

You should have pursued the discrepancies when you first caught her in the lie.

From now on, don't let her off the hook. Don't give her time to create an alibi or plausible explanation. Demand all passwords. Check her phone and email.

If she isn't cheating, you are at least discovering that she is a liar. Decide if you can live with that.


Me - BS 40s
WH - 50s
4 Kids
Dday May 2012

Posts: 836 | Registered: Jun 2012
betrayed0199
♂ New Member
Member # 38720
Default  Posted: 6:44 AM, March 30th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When ever I try to have a rational discussion about any of this things she tries to turn the situation around to ME. "Well what about you!" How do I know you aren't doing this or that!". I can't get any sort of straight answer out of her. Just and vociferous insistence she's doing nothing wrong. She to over react every time.

Posts: 19 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Indiana
betrayed0199
♂ New Member
Member # 38720
Default  Posted: 6:46 AM, March 30th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm trying to stay cool but she is trying my patience. She won't give me any info at all.

Posts: 19 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Indiana
traveldad
♂ Member
Member # 34047
Default  Posted: 10:06 AM, March 30th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My wife became very protective of her phone when she started cheating. She slept with it under her pillow and even her favorite daughter wasn't allowed to mess with it. If she's hiding something, there is probably something to hide.


DDay January 2010
Divorced July 2010...broke up 2 families
Contented single dad of 2 grown sons and two daughters.
XW talks to kids about once a year

Posts: 54 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: Southwest
traveldad
♂ Member
Member # 34047
Default  Posted: 10:07 AM, March 30th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BTW, my kids use their ipods to text.


DDay January 2010
Divorced July 2010...broke up 2 families
Contented single dad of 2 grown sons and two daughters.
XW talks to kids about once a year

Posts: 54 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: Southwest
Topic Posts: 16

Return to Forum: Just Found Out Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.