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Newest Member: choosehappy86 (44287)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: I don't want to be on the bus!!
GrievingMommy
♀ Member
Member # 28127
Default  Posted: 7:54 PM, March 31st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

One of the things that made me upset about the break up on Friday, is missing the great sex and intimacy I've shared/had for a year and a half. I don't want to be on the damn bus!!

I am a very sexual person. I crave even just the physical contact such as holding hands or cuddling. I am really going to miss sex. I'm not into casual sex, so no FWB's, etc.

The longest I've gone is six months without sex (after deciding to end the R attempt and our divorce - was then followed closely by a short fling). I know that is short in the scheme of things, but I have a feeling it'll be longer than that this time.

Let the frustration and battery jokes at work begin. Oh, and yes I have an array of 'toys', but it just isn't the same.


Me - Now 36 y/o
WXH: Now 45 y/o and 18+ hrs away -NPD asshole now onto wife #3.
My sweeties: 5 yr old B/G twins. 90% custody (or more) since 14 months old.
D-Day 4/4/10 PA('s?) & EA's - D'd 7/11

Posts: 1691 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Upper Midwest
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 8:44 PM, March 31st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If it's any consolation, you have 6 months to go before the bus will be by to pick you up.

(((GrievingMommy)))


You can call me NIK

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
- Plato


Posts: 24436 | Registered: Aug 2011
phmh
♀ Member
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 8:59 PM, March 31st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hear you.

I'll be picked up by the bus later this month.

If you're just craving human contact, can you get a massage? If you lived near me, I can recommend a super hot European guy who might spice up your dreams a bit


Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark. -Michelangelo


Posts: 3267 | Registered: Dec 2011
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 9:34 PM, March 31st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I get it, I am the same way.. it's been almost a year for me. It gets easier --- with time.

And find a great massage therapist and book regular appointments... it will save your sanity.

Hugs,

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4853 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
cayc
♀ Member
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 9:40 PM, March 31st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh the bus isn't so bad! Bob! Drinks! Laughs! Curtains!

I'm rather enjoying the bus


"The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs. The chicken is involved, the pig is committed." -Martina Navratilova
"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 3003 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
ManBearDivorce
♂ Member
Member # 36258
Default  Posted: 9:48 PM, March 31st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I crave even just the physical contact such as holding hands or cuddling
.


Oh those things? Totally forgotten those. I actually feel cleansed from the addictive nature of sex. Sometimes it comes back but it's just like nicotine for me. I can bat it down. Just got to get used to it. 1 year and counting for me!


Posts: 339 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: St.Paul Minnesota
Sad in AZ
♀ Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 6:17 AM, April 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you haven't gone more than 6 months without sex, then you've never been on the bus. If your record holds up, you'll have nothing to worry about.

Seriously, you have to understand your audience...


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 19796 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
Oh the Irony
Member
Member # 12354
Default  Posted: 7:35 AM, April 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Up the exercise and get massages.

I train in a martial art where I get to touch people. It does help a bit.

Also, I find that really feeling my sensuality is a good thing. I treat myself in a sensual way--take outdoor showers, use bath gels etc that appeal to my senses. I think for awhile I tried to tamp it down, but opening it up is much better. Plus when you feel super sexy and sensual you get much more attention from the opposite sex!


Two gorgeous boys, 14 and 8.
D-day Sept. 15, 2006.
Me, BS 43
Him, WS 50
Her, OG (Guess she is 27 or 28 now! 19-21 at the time...)
Separated. Divorcing. Happily working on myself.

Posts: 734 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: thankful for truth
clralb
♀ Member
Member # 17185
Default  Posted: 10:25 AM, April 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No more FWB for me. Actually, I don't mind it so much.

I guess the requirements are to not have had sex in a year. I have about six more months to go, but I am going to position myself to get a nice window seat.

When I do get off the bus, it's going to be with someone I truly care about with hopes of a future together. May be a long ride, but I'm willing to wait.


BS Divorced.

They were right about you.


Posts: 676 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: southeast
Syzy
♀ Member
Member # 15190
Default  Posted: 12:41 PM, April 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

yeah I've had very very little sex this last 14 months.. I hate it, its crap.

But whatever I can't force the right thing to show up.


BS
Dday Aug 17, 2006
R - what's that.
Me - Moved on long ago.
It takes two to make it work, but only one to fuck it up.

Posts: 945 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: So Cal
k94ever
♀ Member
Member # 11176
Default  Posted: 2:17 PM, April 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Pushing two years here.

None of us WANT to be riding this bus.

But I'd rather be on the bus with all the wonderful folks here than running the risk of STD's with random men or settling for less than what I want.

I'm worth more than that.

k9

[This message edited by k94ever at 2:18 PM, April 1st (Monday)]


BS: 56
WS: 53
Betrayed: 23 years
Affairs: 14 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.

Posts: 6453 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: Wisconsin
GrievingMommy
♀ Member
Member # 28127
Default  Posted: 3:23 PM, April 1st (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know none of us WANT to be on the bus. That is a given. The six months was with a fling and I'm not doing that again. I'm also hoping to make it awhile into a relationship before taking that step.

I do have human interaction as I have my 4 yr olds who give lots of hugs and cuddles....but obviously not the kind of cuddles and contact I'm refering to.

My massage therapist a female. Even if massage with a guy did something for me, it'd just get me hot and bothered. What a let down. haha

I definitely would rather be on the bus than with someone simply for sex and getting nothing out of it or worse, it making me feel bad.


Me - Now 36 y/o
WXH: Now 45 y/o and 18+ hrs away -NPD asshole now onto wife #3.
My sweeties: 5 yr old B/G twins. 90% custody (or more) since 14 months old.
D-Day 4/4/10 PA('s?) & EA's - D'd 7/11

Posts: 1691 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Upper Midwest
SouthernGal
♀ Member
Member # 27315
Default  Posted: 7:19 AM, April 2nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Heading toward 3 years ... It gets easier after a while. It also gets easier when you choose to not make it a focal point. In other words don't start worrying about being on the bus six months before you even get on it. The more you choose to focus on and whine about it and focus on other parts of your life it will be easier.


BS (Me) XWH (him) M nearly 16 yrs
1 DD (teens)
D-day #1 12/09, #2 2/10
Divorced 10/6/10

Posts: 3862 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: The Deep (Fried) South
k94ever
♀ Member
Member # 11176
Default  Posted: 8:42 AM, April 2nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WINE!!!!!!!! Did somebody say WINE!!!!!!

Hell yes there's wine on this bus.

And COOKIES!!!!!!!

k9


BS: 56
WS: 53
Betrayed: 23 years
Affairs: 14 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.

Posts: 6453 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: Wisconsin
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 9:16 AM, April 2nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I went 7m on that damned bus. In some ways it was harder (boom-tish) those weeks after falling off the bus momentarily than it was for those 7 months.

Like a mozzie bite - if you scratch it it makes it worse. Leave it alone and it goes away. Until you fall out of the bus again. I've got to stop scratching the damn thing before it makes me crazy,

FWB would be awesome but it seems to ALWAYS get complicated. BOB doesn't cut it I'm afraid.

I hear you sister.


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5435 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
hit-by-a-train
♀ Member
Member # 8923
Default  Posted: 9:38 AM, April 2nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't believe that any of us are ENTHUSED about this darn bus......I mean, the company is great and all, but I never wanted to enter the pageant "Miss Born Again Virgin", kwim?


In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer..Albert Camus
**Beloved hubby died at home 1/28/2013, age 61..** God sent me two good men in a row......and saved the best for last. Grief & joy coexist.

Posts: 2279 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: USA
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 11:01 PM, April 2nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Year 5 is approaching. Year 5 is approaching!

Just sayin.

It no longer enters my mind unless I'm watching a Ryan Gosling movie.

*snork*

Why yes, I'd love SOME WINE THANKS!


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17157 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
HurtsButImOK
♀ Member
Member # 38865
Default  Posted: 11:08 PM, April 2nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In 2 weeks I will be joining everyone on the bus too

Glad to hear there will be wine though


Me: Awesome - 35

"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou

"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be". –


Posts: 722 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Australia
npain
♀ Member
Member # 33539
Default  Posted: 3:09 PM, April 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is definitely a bus NONE of us WANT to be on.

But like others here, I'm not into FWB or casual sex and I plan on waiting until my kids are older to start dating again so I plan to be on this bus for LOOONG time.

But I fill my life up with other things and be content with the hugs my kids give me at night. And try not to think about it...20 months and counting


S,beginning D

Posts: 508 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: New York
GrievingMommy
♀ Member
Member # 28127
Default  Posted: 3:46 PM, April 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think I need to start drinking.


Me - Now 36 y/o
WXH: Now 45 y/o and 18+ hrs away -NPD asshole now onto wife #3.
My sweeties: 5 yr old B/G twins. 90% custody (or more) since 14 months old.
D-Day 4/4/10 PA('s?) & EA's - D'd 7/11

Posts: 1691 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Upper Midwest
Topic Posts: 29
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