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User Topic: He wont propose because I dont view health as importance as he
SoVerySadNow
♀ Member
Member # 36711
Default  Posted: 7:41 AM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Stay strong. The relationship is toxic.


Me:BW
Him:WH
D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.

Posts: 1292 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Sunny Florida
suspicious247
♀ Member
Member # 33014
Default  Posted: 7:58 AM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Btw I accidentally face timed him the night before his bday. I hung up immediately. Not even an entire ring. He face timed me back and I didn't answer. I was reading old texts and found some things I even forgot about. How I was warning him that I was disappearing and did he have anything else he wanted to say before I'm gone forever. More texts about him being unreasonable and obnoxious . I needed the ammo. The call FaceTime button is right where your would scroll up on texts. This is what he's referring to when he says "fake facetime"

Posts: 390 | Registered: Aug 2011
suspicious247
♀ Member
Member # 33014
Default  Posted: 7:58 AM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Btw I accidentally face timed him the night before his bday. I hung up immediately. Not even an entire ring. He face timed me back and I didn't answer. I was reading old texts and found some things I even forgot about. How I was warning him that I was disappearing and did he have anything else he wanted to say before I'm gone forever. More texts about him being unreasonable and obnoxious . I needed the ammo. The call FaceTime button is right where your would scroll up on texts. This is what he's referring to when he says "fake facetime"

Posts: 390 | Registered: Aug 2011
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 8:10 AM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good morning, honey.

I have an assignment for you. And you're going to do it - no arguing, ok?

Think of one thing you can do for yourself today that is completely self-focused. One thing. It doesn't have to be big, it just has to be about your care and feeding.

Give it some thought. Think of something you will enjoy. Something that will help fill your tank.

Get a massage?
Spend an hour wandering through your favorite book store?
Take a walk through a beautiful neighborhood?
Call a friend and meet for lunch?
Rent a movie and laugh your ass off?
Coffee and a cookie in the park?

Think on it. Do it. And then report back.

Dr. NIK's orders.


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25774 | Registered: Aug 2011
suspicious247
♀ Member
Member # 33014
Default  Posted: 9:00 AM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ugh! - Ty for checking on me. I just saw your post today. I am trying to hang in there as best I can.

Still seeing my IC weekly. Went to charleston this weekend with a girlfriend for a getaway and it was a shitshow. Her brothers bday was that weekend and his friends were unbelievable. They were very immature and drinking at all hours of the day and getting kicked out of bars. To give you all an idea , we met them for brunch at noon on Sunday and they had already been kicked out of a bar/restaurant. Everywhere we went I saw a look of uneasiness in the other patrons. It was so obvious how rowdy this crowd was. I was so embarrassed and found excuses to leave. One night I left a club bc I was triggering from a song and needed to go out for a good cry. My "friend" laid in to me about leaving . she was so angry with me some awful things came out of her mouth.Saying he still has power over me and all my friends talk about me.. I got angry at her and told her I was allowed to grieve the end of my relationship Amd just bc im cryimg doesnt mean he has "power" over me She said some awful things to me and she lost my friendship. I will only keep her at arms length now. She has issues and in the 8 years ive known her has never had a man so relationship advice from her is laughable. I won't get into all the details but the wknd was pretty bad and we came home early. (After they got kicked out of yet another bar she finally had it herself)

Soverysad - thank you. I am doing the best I can with regards to strength.

Stillgoing- haha this is the stuff I need to hear. So thank you also. Entitled is his middle name. I had a feeling the mean stuff would come after the bday. Hopefully that's the end of it

Dr nik- thank you for words of encouragment. unfortunately work is insane and ill be working until at least 7 my time, but I will do something nice for myself after . Maybe ill work out, spray tan and mani pedi. I just bought a book on amazon and I can't wait to get it. It's called "words of encouragement for the emotionally abused woman" . Good reviews, I hope it brings more peace in my life.

Guys what do you think about him saying that it is "fitting"? I don't get that.

[This message edited by suspicious247 at 9:03 AM, May 2nd (Thursday)]


Posts: 390 | Registered: Aug 2011
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 9:08 AM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Guys what do you think about him saying that it is "fitting"? I don't get that.

It was either a dismissive insult to you or a *pity party* for him. An opening for you to *feel bad* or guilty and to feel compelled to contact him and make him feel better.

Can you delete him from your FaceTime so there are no more 'oopsies'?


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8088 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
suspicious247
♀ Member
Member # 33014
Default  Posted: 9:14 AM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've only facetimed once before and have no idea how to delete it. I never use it and am completely uninformed about it.

It sounds crazy but reading his mean text messages makes my resolve stronger so I've been doing it more lately (we communicated a lot thru text) . But I'd love to get rid of that button

[This message edited by suspicious247 at 9:15 AM, May 2nd (Thursday)]


Posts: 390 | Registered: Aug 2011
7yrsflushed
♂ Member
Member # 32258
Default  Posted: 9:34 AM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not sure which iphone you have but you can disable facetime by going into settings, clicking on facetime and then moving the toggle to off. Hope that helps.


D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Divorced 9/2/14 and loving life!

Posts: 1912 | Registered: May 2011 | From: VA
suspicious247
♀ Member
Member # 33014
Default  Posted: 9:36 AM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And he just emailed me

Subject - thank you

Body - for being thoughtful

(To my work email from his personal)

[This message edited by suspicious247 at 9:38 AM, May 2nd (Thursday)]


Posts: 390 | Registered: Aug 2011
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 9:41 AM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just expect to continue to *hear* from him.

I just, as in right now, received an email w/ attachment from Sultan.

Subject: Beautiful
Body: A picture that was taken when we renewed our vows 2 months after Dday.

He obviously has no idea how much I despise being reminded of that renewal considering the fact that it was based on his complete lies.

Disordered thinking, suspi. Ugh.


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8088 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
DeadMumWalking
♀ Member
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 9:54 AM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And he just emailed me

Subject - thank you

Body - for being thoughtful

WHAT A FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!!!!

(To my work email from his personal)

Please blacklist this douchebag so that his fucked up messages go straight into trash.

The less you see him working his bullshit the better off you will be.

((((suspicious))))


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 25 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 30
Dday: Dec 2008
Limbo-ish, again (after multiple S) -- weighing my options

Posts: 2615 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 11:13 AM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Guys what do you think about him saying that it is "fitting"? I don't get that.

He's being a manipulative cockjab. He's implying that you're cruel, mean and everything HE never said - even though he did and you have it saved - but OTHER people did is true and he's only just now being forced to see it by your HORRIBLE and SELFISH behavior by not bowing your head like a good little woman and just having the courtesy to wish him a happy fucking birthday. Really, just a happy birthday, because you're the only one he really was looking forward to hearing from. Isn't the [dollar value he quoted] he spent an obvious sign of how much he values you? You could at least do the same and how much does it cost to say happy birthday? GOD you're SO SELFISH.

You will soon be bombarded with flowers and gifts.

He is a snub nosed shit rifle set to spray and he's hosing your life with his shit. Block him.


"You have insulted my footwear."

Posts: 7488 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
suspicious247
♀ Member
Member # 33014
Default  Posted: 11:16 AM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh I forgot - I bought him a subscription for 6 months. They are gift boxes filled with men's sample skin and lifestyle products (socks, speakers, belts - it's nice stuff). I ordered it in March bc I had to wait a few months for mine (the female version). Since I bought it, I get an email every month when he gets his box. and he got his giftbox from me on his birthday!!! He actually got a gift from me - on his bday - albeit I didn't buy it recently.

So I am sooooo thoughtless that I dont wish him a happy bday and soooo thoughtless he got absolutely nothing from me on his bday. WTF Ever!!!! I want to yell that to him but I wont . I will just yell it here.

And also to him - yes I do think I should give therapy a chance and I am and I have been!! You dont care enough about this relationship to get help yourself because you are fucking perfect and you are totally innocent of any wrongdoing. You ruined my spirit you piece of shit!!!!

OK end vent


Posts: 390 | Registered: Aug 2011
suspicious247
♀ Member
Member # 33014
Default  Posted: 11:18 AM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LOL I needed that

You will soon be bombarded with flowers and gifts.

he doesn't know my home or work address. POS never asked for it when I moved - yay for me


Posts: 390 | Registered: Aug 2011
Mousse242
♀ Member
Member # 6330
Default  Posted: 2:51 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Cancel the subscription. Simple.

Posts: 5473 | Registered: Jan 2005 | From: Chicago
brokenblackbird
♀ Member
Member # 29541
Default  Posted: 3:27 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Stop torturing yourself. If you don't want contact block his email address/es and block his phone number/s.

If he doesn't know your work address or your home address, he can't reach you. No more contact.


Posts: 777 | Registered: Sep 2010
suspicious247
♀ Member
Member # 33014
Default  Posted: 3:28 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's prepaid or I would have believe me

[This message edited by suspicious247 at 3:29 PM, May 2nd (Thursday)]


Posts: 390 | Registered: Aug 2011
brokenblackbird
♀ Member
Member # 29541
Default  Posted: 5:43 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your work email should be capable of having his emails blacklisted.

What service do you have that has an iphone on a prepaid plan? There are apps to block numbers/texts.


Posts: 777 | Registered: Sep 2010
suspicious247
♀ Member
Member # 33014
Default  Posted: 5:58 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No the gift subscription to him is the prepaid thing. My phone is not prepaid and I have since deactivated FaceTime

I need to figure out the work email blocking part. It's more complicated than you might think. If I explained why it would be revealing too much personal info.

I just want to say thanks again for all the posts and the pms (you know who you are). Everyone has been so helpful, even the meaner posts have helped and I really can't thank this place enough


Posts: 390 | Registered: Aug 2011
brokenblackbird
♀ Member
Member # 29541
Default  Posted: 8:44 PM, May 2nd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh. I guess I misread it. I thought your phone was prepaid. Oops.

Maybe you could change the address of the gift subscription to your own?


Posts: 777 | Registered: Sep 2010
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