My dog farted, startled himself, wondered where the noise came from. I wish my life was as simple.
[This message edited by unforgivable5 at 10:27 AM, April 2nd (Tuesday)]
My mom told him she would forgive him because she was commanded to (by her faith). But that if he hurt me again she would probably kill him.
I think it is SO important that you acknowledge your shame. Acknowledge that you have disappointed your MIL, and that it is a lot easier to forgive a harm done to you than to someone you love. Tell her you know it will be hard to regain her trust but that you are committed to rebuilding that relationship as well as your M.
Make eye contact, no matter how much you just want to run away.
You can do this.
She always treated him like a son, and he was the "golden boy" to everyone in my family.
FWH learned more about unconditional love by the way my family reacted to this than he's ever seen in his life.
My mom told him, "When your mom passed away I promised I'd be there for you no matter what, and I mean that. I won't stand for you treating Jrazz with disrespect and I will support her in whatever she needs, but I will always be there for you as well."
I was mad at first and it didn't make sense, but after some time had passed I was blown away at how my mom stuck by her commitment to be there for him. He does have a good heart, he just got really lost for a while. She sees the good in him and supports him, and I am proud of her for reaching past her pain to be there for him.
Approach your inlaws with humility. Let your MIL say what she needs to, and if she shows you grace then tell her you are humbled by her capacity for forgiveness. Thank them by being the best son in law you can be.
For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning. - T.S. Eliot
Jrazz, I hope they act as your mom did. She showed true compassion and saw the good man behind the terrible behaviour. My H is also seen as the "golden boy". My family loves him. They have been generous with him. This is really going to hurt. I would rather they NOT know but we must tell them as my 17 year old niece found out. Besides, my H feels he owes them an apology too bc he "used" them to meet the AP.
Unforgiveable5, I hope it goes well for you. As the others said, look your MIL in the eye, let her know how very remorseful you are and how committed you are to her daugther and how sorry you are for hurting her (your MIL) bc she has always been so good to you. You can do it.
[This message edited by LA44 at 1:29 PM, April 2nd (Tuesday)]
My BS's mother is coming to town tonight to staty for a few days. Awkward doesn't even begin to describe what it feels like. I know I need to face up to what I have done to everyone, but this is going to be rough. This was her daughter. And I was her "role model" son-in-law. She has always treated me like a son and is so hurt and disappointed by my actions. I don't even know how to approach this
Isn't it sad that none of us had this on our radar screen when we started down the path of adultery.
It does feel good to start working our way out of the hole we've dug though. It took me about a full five years to get back to ground zero. And that was with me working my ass off in the process.
Just a hint, no excuses for anything that's happened, OK.
D-Days April - Oct. 2007 Recovery started Nov. 2007
"Found Myself", I was right there in my shoes all along!
Search for self called off!
Why Repentance Is Necessary? Because Undeserved Mercy Empowers Entitlement/Sin