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Newest Member: lynnde (44729)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: how to get out of emailing only?
phmh
♀ Member
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 7:03 PM, April 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just don't want him to pin this on me saying I never responded or something

Why does this matter?


Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark. -Michelangelo


Posts: 3318 | Registered: Dec 2011
Why??
♀ Member
Member # 18132
Default  Posted: 8:29 AM, April 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Because I am new and this is the first person who has been very friendly to me and I don't want her to think I blew him off.


"Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game."

Posts: 1854 | Registered: Feb 2008
Amazonia
♀ Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 9:06 AM, April 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why?? I agree that you shouldn't just poof because you were set up by a friend/coworker. I actually wouldn't be surprised if he feels the same way, and that's why the delay in responding. Kind of the long, slow, drawn out poof. That's why I think you should put your cards on the table and make it very clear that you would be interested in meeting, but not pen pals, no hard feelings, the end.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13690 | Registered: Jul 2011
phmh
♀ Member
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 7:48 PM, April 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, I thought you meant that you cared what he thought about you, and I just kept thinking -- why does it matter since it doesn't look like you will meet, so who cares what he thinks?

Have you spoken with your coworker at all about this?

I had a somewhat similar situation. I had been at my job for about 5 months when a coworker (more senior than me, but not my boss) wanted to introduce me to her daughter's volleyball coach. She gave him my e-mail address, we pen-palled a bit, and things never happened. Seemed like a nice enough guy, but I need someone with more initiative!

I just told her that I had suggested meeting after a few e-mails; he didn't appear interested and just appeared to want to e-mail. I'm not even sure who poofed on whom, but it's been months since we've e-mailed (I think our last conversation was about Halloween.) She just laughed, said something like "too bad -- he's missing out!" and our relationship is fine.

I think you might be worrying too much about what she thinks. Not that you need to be spilling your love life to her, but I'd probably mention something like "thanks for the introduction, but it didn't work out!"


Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark. -Michelangelo


Posts: 3318 | Registered: Dec 2011
SkeerdButHopeful
♀ Member
Member # 27541
Default  Posted: 1:16 PM, April 12th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'd probably say, "Wow, I'm impressed you find time to email with how busy you are! I'm not really looking for a pen pal, but you seem like a great guy. If you'd ever like to get a drink, please feel free to give me a call." and then go quiet unless he asks you out.

I agree with this.


Me BS45. XWH44 NPD. M 8 yrs. DD8. Dday 1/26/10. DIVORCED 5/16/11. Harassment charges twice. Judge ordered NCO for 1 yr, as well as parenting & anger mgmt classes. NCO has since expired, so harassment continues disguised as concern for DD.

Posts: 802 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: USA
Why??
♀ Member
Member # 18132
Default  Posted: 6:02 PM, April 13th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, I did talk a bit to the new co-worker and told her the basic info that I don't think he's looking to date based on his very busy responses, etc.. I did reply to his last message but expect the slow poof. Not really interested anymore but due to the coworker don't want to be the poofer...Have my 1st outside of work get together and I'm nervous. My crush was invited...maybe he shows with a date and that will kill it for me once and for all!! Also, stopped by my old job today. Really miss many things about it


"Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game."

Posts: 1854 | Registered: Feb 2008
GrievingMommy
♀ Member
Member # 28127
Default  Posted: 7:07 PM, April 13th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I say go with what Ama said if he replies again. ("Wow, I'm impressed you find time to email with how busy you are! I'm not really looking for a pen pal, but you seem like a great guy. If you'd ever like to get a drink, please feel free to give me a call.")

That way it's more or less saying I'm done emailing - 'shit or get off the pot'.

If after sending that email he stills sporadiacally sends emails, I'd ignore them.

Hopefully your crush won't show up with a date!!

[This message edited by GrievingMommy at 7:07 PM, April 13th (Saturday)]


Me - Now 36 y/o
WXH: Now 45 y/o and 18+ hrs away -NPD asshole now onto wife #3.
My sweeties: 5 yr old B/G twins. 90% custody (or more) since 14 months old.
D-Day 4/4/10 PA('s?) & EA's - D'd 7/11

Posts: 1691 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Upper Midwest
Why??
♀ Member
Member # 18132
Default  Posted: 1:52 PM, April 14th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So I had a good time last night at the work event. Crush showed up dateless...someone was offering to set him up with some wealthy colleague's daughter

Hope my dry spell ends soon! Need a real prospect


"Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game."

Posts: 1854 | Registered: Feb 2008
Topic Posts: 28
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