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Newest Member: 4hazel (45322)

Just Found Out     Print Topic    
User Topic: found out yesterday
whatlysbeneath
♂ Member
Member # 32665
Default  Posted: 3:50 AM, April 8th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

D3,

I just read all 5 pages...wow!

Your plan is to "drive 4 hours" today to visit the other BS and return home before the older children return from school and your WS returns from work?

If the other BS is 4 hours away that's 8 hours of travel with an infant, not counting the time required to actually talk to the other BS. Did I miss something? Is it a 4 hour round trip?

One of the most dificult aspects of "fighting infidelity fire with fire" is be very careful not to compromise your integrity in the process.

As BSs we sometimes have to keep secrets from the one person in the world we should never have to keep secrets from, know what I mean?

As an honest spouse what you are doing now, not disclosing sources,contacting other BS etc, feels very unnatural.

However, telling the the other BS is the absolute RIGHT thing to do!!

You are incredibly strong. You mentioned speaking with a pastor so you must be a person of faith. I am a person of faith as well and faith, along with SI have been the two main sources of strength thru this nightmare.

You will be okay, your child will be okay. Your WS will only be okay if he chooses to be.

Sending you thoughts and prayers.

[This message edited by whatlysbeneath at 3:53 AM, April 8th (Monday)]


Me: BH
Her: WW
Together 18 years
M 17
D day 2010
4 young children
Every secret in a marriage is a lie...I'm tired of being lied too.

Posts: 131 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Mayberry to Hell to Limboville
disappointed3
♀ New Member
Member # 38877
Default  Posted: 8:18 AM, April 8th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Whatlysbeneath...
It is 4 hours one way. I won't be home before everyone else gets home but I will be home before I have dinner ready at 6. My older kids are 18 & 11 and pretty independent. They keep busy with homework, friends and other stuff. What I meant was they'll never know I left town. When I get home at 5 or so they'll think I was just out running errands.

Posts: 29 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Nevada
Getting to Happy
♀ Member
Member # 35200
Default  Posted: 9:15 AM, April 8th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey D, I am glad that you are taking some action. Your head must be ready to pop from all of this stealthy sh*t!

You are doing the right thing for your marriage and your family.

Blow this creepy fantasy out of the water!

Godspeed my dear.


WS him
BS me DD's 26, 25' DS 23
dd1 1-1-10, dd2 Mothers Day 2011, dd3 3-12-12 Hawaii trip with ho-worker...

Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
Unknown


Posts: 1140 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: La La Land
sadtoo
♀ Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 9:29 AM, April 8th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thinking of you today. Good luck.


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 8032 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
brkn_heartd
♀ Member
Member # 30396
Default  Posted: 7:44 PM, April 8th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hope today went well. Sending good vibes your way.


Me-51 BS
Him 58-WS
Married 31 yrs, together 34
Affair Aug-Dec 09
official D-12/14/09
broke NC 1/31/10
second D 3/19/10

Posts: 1642 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Northwesten US
Betrayed67
♀ Member
Member # 38134
Default  Posted: 8:14 PM, April 8th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hope everything goes well. Take care.


Me-BW 46 yo;Him - WH 53 yo
Married 13years
One daughter together 9yo, 2 stepchildren(His from previous marriage)
Various DDdays (see my profile)
ONS and multiple "friendships" with women in various online dating sites

Posts: 131 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: New Zealand
openedupmyeyes
♀ Member
Member # 27871
Default  Posted: 9:20 PM, April 8th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

{{{{D3}}}}} I'm sending positive mojo. I hope you found ow's BS , gave him proof and made it home in time. Strength to you. Keep posting. There is support here.


Me:53 BS
Him:53 FWH Trying to make me a believer?
Years married:35
:03-01-10: The day I learned the truth
Kids:Daughters 4 all grown and married.
Reconciliation is hard.
Really freakin' hard.

Posts: 765 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: The Great State of Texas
Faithful w/Love
♀ Member
Member # 33128
Default  Posted: 8:17 AM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How are you today? Thinking of you.


BS(ME)40 WH(HIM)38
DD 20 and DS 15
Separated Aug 2012
Moved back home Oct 31 2013
Separated again June 2014. Heading toward divorce.
False R. Still Lying.

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is all you have left"


Posts: 2777 | Registered: Aug 2011
pewpewpew
♀ Member
Member # 38116
Default  Posted: 2:24 PM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thinking of you...


ME: 30
WH: 35

Fool me once - Shame on you. Fool me twice - pack your shit and get out.


Posts: 310 | Registered: Jan 2013
MCGar
♀ New Member
Member # 20928
Default  Posted: 4:11 PM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been thinking about this situation.
First I am a little worried just because the OP did drive 4 away with no one knowing where she was going into an unknown situation. I do hope the D3 does update just so we know she's ok.

Next, I just wanted to advise D3 to keep your cards close to your vest. Get your ducks in a row and be careful. Your husband's actions of being first silent then condescending and then expecting you to swallow this insane coverup story in order to retain his career does not bode well for dealing with him. He looks very desperate while insistent on being in charge. Just be careful with how you handle him. He looks like he wants to be very sneaky with you.


Posts: 49 | Registered: Sep 2008
Holly-Isis
♀ Member
Member # 13447
Default  Posted: 5:17 PM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't usually get worried...but in this situation I'm starting to worry.

Praying for you disappointed that your WH hasn't let his anger rule him.


"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

Posts: 11216 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Just a fool in limbo
hopefulmother
♀ Member
Member # 38790
Default  Posted: 5:52 PM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We are hoping to hear from you soon. Hope you are okay. Everyone is following your situation and is anxious about that meeting. Stay safe.


Me-BW 39
WH-39
D-day 9-4-12
Major TT 8-14
Friends for 20yrs dating since 2000
Married 10yrs with 2 toddlers
My wedding band is a symbol of hope, forgiveness, love, and grace.

Posts: 946 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: PA
sadtoo
♀ Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 5:49 PM, April 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG. Where is she???


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 8032 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
confused82402
♀ Member
Member # 34616
Default  Posted: 5:59 PM, April 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG. Where is she???

I'm wondering the same thing! I just read this thread for the first time yesterday and have been waiting for an update....I'm feeling worried about her


Me- BW
Him - WH
Dday - 1/16/2012

~Honey, don't try to make sense out of nonsense...you'll drive yourself crazy in the process ~ my momma :-)


Posts: 507 | Registered: Jan 2012
brkn_heartd
♀ Member
Member # 30396
Default  Posted: 8:30 PM, April 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Me too.


Me-51 BS
Him 58-WS
Married 31 yrs, together 34
Affair Aug-Dec 09
official D-12/14/09
broke NC 1/31/10
second D 3/19/10

Posts: 1642 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Northwesten US
bunkerette
Member
Member # 13544
Default  Posted: 8:25 AM, April 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I read this too and hope everything is alright....

Posts: 82 | Registered: Feb 2007
Faithful w/Love
♀ Member
Member # 33128
Default  Posted: 10:27 AM, April 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Really worried now! I am praying you are okay.


BS(ME)40 WH(HIM)38
DD 20 and DS 15
Separated Aug 2012
Moved back home Oct 31 2013
Separated again June 2014. Heading toward divorce.
False R. Still Lying.

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is all you have left"


Posts: 2777 | Registered: Aug 2011
sinsof thefather
♀ Member
Member # 29295
Default  Posted: 11:16 AM, April 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Really worried now! I am praying you are okay.

Me too.


...second star to the right and straight on till morning.

Posts: 1880 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: UK
Getting to Happy
♀ Member
Member # 35200
Default  Posted: 11:41 AM, April 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Really worried now! I am praying you are okay.

Me three!


WS him
BS me DD's 26, 25' DS 23
dd1 1-1-10, dd2 Mothers Day 2011, dd3 3-12-12 Hawaii trip with ho-worker...

Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
Unknown


Posts: 1140 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: La La Land
still2suspicious
♀ Member
Member # 31722
Default  Posted: 12:22 PM, April 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Really worried now! I am praying you are okay

count me four!!

Praying for you D3.


Me: BS
Him: WH
DDay: LTEA

Posts: 1299 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From:
Topic Posts: 128
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