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New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: did you lose your weight because of D?
torn2bits
♀ Member
Member # 28376
Default  Posted: 6:07 PM, April 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am wondering since I have read here that many lost a ton of weight during the divorce process.

Was it because you weren't eating, going to the bathroom more because of the stress?

I just don't want this to happen so I was just wondering.


Me: 44/WH (SA): 49
M: 24 years 3 kids over 10 yrs old
EA/ PA Dec. 2009 -Divorce pending

Posts: 1240 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Midwest
InTheRabbitHole
♀ Member
Member # 19319
Default  Posted: 6:10 PM, April 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I lost about 15 lbs. Mostly because I wasn't eating. Food held no appeal to me at all.

You need to remember to eat, even if you don't feel like it. Smoothies might work for you too. Sleep and exercise are wonder drugs for me. They might be for you too.


Posts: 202 | Registered: Apr 2008
I.will.survive
♀ Member
Member # 34677
Default  Posted: 6:12 PM, April 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I lost 15 lbs as well because I had zero appetite. I would eat my meals at the right time, but turns out it was only a few bites at a time at best.

Felt like my throat was squeezed shut and it was hard to swallow.

But alas, the weight came back. I'm divorced and happy.


Posts: 530 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: east coast
million pieces
♀ Member
Member # 27539
Default  Posted: 6:27 PM, April 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A little of both. I was training for a marathon, so I didn't have much extra on me. I definitely ate less for a while, but even when I did, it went right though me. I lost 15# and I looked horrible.

3+ years out, I've since gained 25# I'm happy!


Me - 42
2 kids, 9 and 12
D-Day 2/5/10, separated 3 wks later
Divorced 11/15/11!!!!

Posts: 1267 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: MD
peacelovetea
♀ Member
Member # 26071
Default  Posted: 6:28 PM, April 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I lost 15 lb also. No idea why -- I was eating normally, and while I was definitely more active during the first few months, once the fall hit that stopped and I kept losing. I have no idea why I lost it, but my doc says my blood tests came back normal and so don't worry about it. I suspect the stress made my thyroid go wonky but that it has stabilized again. I have gained a few pounds back now, thank goodness.


BW, SAHM
D-Day: 6/5/09, drunken ONS on business trip, confessed immediately, transparent, remorseful but emotionally clueless
M 11 years, 3 kids
4/12 Tried to R for 3 years, have decided to D
12/31/12 D final

Posts: 542 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: PacNW
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 6:32 PM, April 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I lost close to 20 lbs due to the stress of DDay and a very fast D. That was two years ago, and I've now gained most of it back, which sucks because the weight loss was the best part at that point, lol. Now, no XWH is the best part.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4609 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
torn2bits
♀ Member
Member # 28376
Default  Posted: 6:39 PM, April 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for the replies. There was a man in our IT department at work and he looked horrible. Over the holdiays he was working on so many projects. Just before the break he looked fine.

When he came back, oh my gosh, it was only 3 weeks since I had seen him and he looked like he was going to die. He was down like 25 lbs and he was thin to begin with. Some others even asked him if all was ok. It was simply due to the stress. I mean it really did a number on him.

I just don't want to look like that.
Irritable bowels and also just the lack of appetite. After all, isn't that what all the diet pills do is control your appetite?


Me: 44/WH (SA): 49
M: 24 years 3 kids over 10 yrs old
EA/ PA Dec. 2009 -Divorce pending

Posts: 1240 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Midwest
wildbananas
♀ Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 6:50 PM, April 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had a long, drawn out D (over three years) and didn't lose weight during that time, but I did lose about 40 pounds after D Day #1. I needed to lose most of that weight (it was post-baby weight) but it was a hell of a way to do it.

Food just didn't sound good to me. I think I lived on water during that time. Real healthy, especially with a newborn (preemie) and two other small ones in the house.

ETA: Grrrr. Remembering things like that make me want to go kick ex-asshat, just because.

[This message edited by wildbananas at 6:51 PM, April 3rd (Wednesday)]


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15415 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 7:19 PM, April 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Before D-day, I had the worst time getting rid of that last 10 lbs from my pregnancy. Just figured I was stuck with it forever. D-day hits and I go from 145 to 120 in no time...11 lbs in a week...so scary. I looked so sickly. I was also training for a marathon...so I wasn't getting anything back on...that and the stress of the D.
I'm four months out from D...not training seriously and back up to 128. I don't eat when I'm stressed and I still have a lot of stress in regards to my job. Unfortunately, I'll be ramping up my training here soon so I really need to get the eating thing figured out...because 120 lbs on a 5'10' frame does not look good.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4687 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
thebighurt
♀ Member
Member # 34722
Default  Posted: 7:37 PM, April 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I sort of lost it because of that. I had been on a very restrictive diet for a medical reason for two months before DDay and had already lost 12 to 14 pounds. I had been cooking the things he wanted, but separate dishes for me. After he left, I was able to eat the way I wanted, not have to cook what he wanted and it was much healthier. I was eating very little meat, many veggies and little fat. I lost another 10 or 12 pounds. It was a time when I was able to get lots of good things from farmers' markets, friends and relatives gave me produce from their gardens, and I got to eat the food I wanted. I never missed all those other foods.

Funny, people *assumed* it was because of xpos, but it only partially was, and not exactly for the reason they were thinking.

As a bonus, the next time I had my bloodwork done, I had the best numbers EVER!


Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 2386 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
courageous
♀ Member
Member # 34477
Default  Posted: 7:40 PM, April 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I lost weight after dday but continued during the long divorce process which was over a year. The stress caused me to not have an appetite and then I also couldn't eat the day of court (7 different times in front of a judge)...yeah it was that bad!


Me: BW (35)
Him: ExWH (31) EA/PA with MOW coworker
Married 9 years, 2 small kids
dday 3/12/2011 divorced fall 2012

My ipad does a lot of crazy typos.


Posts: 651 | Registered: Jan 2012
Amazonia
♀ Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 7:48 PM, April 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I lost a LOT right after DDay, because I basically stopped eating for 5 weeks maybe? All I really ingested with Thai food, popcorn and wine. My pants fell off at work once...

But then I started eating and it all went back on.

Then I got divorced and started dating and gained another ten.

Then I stopped dating and started eating healthy (and finally cut back on the wine a bit) and have lost 25ish over the course of 6 months or so, the healthy way. I'm down 3 sizes and couldn't be happier. And I did it for ME!


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13801 | Registered: Jul 2011
h0peless
♂ Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 8:30 PM, April 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I lost 40 in the two months after d-day. I weighed right around 215 and dropped down to 175. I'm 6'8"tall so that isn't such a great thing. I look like a really long fence post, even though I have gained 7 pounds back since.

Posts: 1736 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
NaiveAgain
♀ Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 8:38 PM, April 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I lost 20 pounds in 2 months. I lived on peanuts and water. I couldn't eat. Food wouldn't go down right. And my stomach just didn't want anything in it.


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 15291 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
risingfromashes
♀ Member
Member # 3903
Default  Posted: 8:52 PM, April 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I lost weight right after DDay. After banging my head against the wall for way too many years to stay married I got out. During the divorce I ate my feelings. Spaghetti for breakfast with an ice cream snack 15 mins. later!

Once I actually got out I joined WW and a gym. I am a size 2.

Sometimes reaching goals is the result of being happy!!!


There is life on the other side of hell.

Posts: 1670 | Registered: Mar 2004
kernel
♀ Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 9:11 PM, April 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The only weight I lost was the 190 pound X.

I'm a stress eater. Now I'm working on losing the infidelity-divorce weight and debt. I'll get there.


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5260 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
GrievingMommy
♀ Member
Member # 28127
Default  Posted: 9:56 PM, April 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had lost 15-20 lbs due to zero appetite. I was suprised since I tend to be an emotional/stress eater.

Thankfully I've kept it off and then some, but I've been eating better and working out.


Me - Now 36 y/o
WXH: Now 45 y/o and 18+ hrs away -NPD asshole now onto wife #3.
My sweeties: 5 yr old B/G twins. 90% custody (or more) since 14 months old.
D-Day 4/4/10 PA('s?) & EA's - D'd 7/11

Posts: 1691 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Upper Midwest
Survivor3512
♀ Member
Member # 37946
Default  Posted: 10:01 PM, April 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I lost a lot of weight right after Dday. I was trying to lose before Dday and had lost 10. Then Dday hit and I lost like 25 or 30 lbs in just a couple months. I just felt sick all the time. Zero appetite. I've since gotten my appetite back, but kept on trying to lose weight the healthy way. In total I've lost about 65 lbs. but I'm now at a very healthy weight. I hope I can stay here or maybe lose another 5-10. It's definitely a work in progress.


Me (BS)- 36
Divorced
----------------------------------------------------------
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming- Dorie

Posts: 293 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Southeastern U.S.
stillstrong
♀ Member
Member # 36144
Default  Posted: 10:45 PM, April 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I stayed the same after D Day, but I gained 16 pounds in the 6 months since I moved out. I had been medicating with pizza hut though.
I am 3 pounds away from losing it all again


Me BS 47
Him WS 51
DDay LTA Feb 21, 2006
R until DDay 2EA's 1/31/12 ONS 2/5/12 Broken NC 7/12/12
Moved out 9/12
Legally Separated 3/13


Posts: 848 | Registered: Jul 2012
exhausted lady
♀ Member
Member # 30217
Default  Posted: 11:03 PM, April 3rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I lost over 40 lbs after I kicked XWposSO to the curb. I think it was because I quit cooking for him (and his kids) and started eating what I wanted to eat. I'm a low carb person, and I was able to do that again.

WXposSO was one of those guys that had to have high calorie snacks around all the time...and I couldn't resist if they were here. I banished them along with him.

It's been almost 3 years...and my weight is still varies by 5 lbs or so....but it's stayed very stable. He was bad for every single aspect of my life!


Sometimes the hardest part of finally seeing through someone is accepting what you see...

God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to
change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.
-Reinhold Neibuhr


Posts: 3168 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: Colorado
Topic Posts: 36
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