Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: nadines13 (44587)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: How to survive this weekend?
jael9
♀ New Member
Member # 32804
Default  Posted: 12:06 PM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

he was flaunting herself in front of me and my WH. Being loud, laughing, make a spectacle of herself. WH actually got angry that she was so blatant.

This behavior is mentioned in Proverbs 7:11 She is LOUD and STUBBORN: her feet abide not in her house....actually just read ALL of chapter 7 and you will see her kind exposed...and iits interesting that most of these warnings are for MEN !

Posts: 10 | Registered: Jul 2011
3kids30years
♀ Member
Member # 38879
Default  Posted: 5:15 PM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Okay , have to send another update (I have to see this OW ALL THE TIME!!!!)

Last night at practice my WH and I got there a little early and were walking around the soccer field. Talking, holding hands, just connecting (really nice, by the way). OW pulled up to pick up her daughter. Stopped, saw us and kept going, parked REALLY far away (there were spaces closer)

WH and I just kept walking. She walked over to the field and stopped right on the track - about 40 feet from us. We just kept walking, she had an idiot grin on her face as we got closer. I made sure I had a huge smile on my face (easy to do, I was happy) and we laughed as we passed her. Not a fake laugh, a happy, honest laugh. She may have said something - I don't know, I don't really care. She is invisible to me. She told her daughter where she was parked and walked back to her car. We stopped and walked back to the group of parents, hugs around (we won on Sunday and everyone was in a good mood) and that was it. It felt good to not let her get to me. To ignore her. To live my life without her interference. WH is finally seeing who she really is - and he is wondering what he was thinking during the A. I told him he wasn't thinking. That was part of the problem.

We are working hard on R, and I think we'll make it. Good days, bad days, hard times. But we are in it together. And that is what is making the difference.

Thanks for the support. I am almost looking forward to the next game on Saturday! Almost.


BS - mid 50's
WH - mid 50's
DDay - 3/2/13 - 2:07pm
2year+ "passionate" EA/PA

Married 30+ years and here I am. Heartbroken.
4/14 Trying to make it thru each day
8/14 - I may be done, we will see


Posts: 209 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Nor Cal
3kids30years
♀ Member
Member # 38879
Default  Posted: 1:29 PM, April 12th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And I'm back for more. 2 more soccer games this week end. It is hard to see her, know that she sees us. But me and WH are together. I wonder if she'll bring more support to the games this weekend. Or maybe I'll get lucky and she won't even be there.

I know I am stronger this weekend. I am more confident in myself and my relationship with WH. We are not there yet, but are making progress. We both want to make our M work. We both want R. He has offered to not come to the soccer games, but that only punishes our daughter. And in a weird way I want OW to see us together, smiling, laughing, holding hands, kissing. I want her to see what she never had and never will. I want her to see US. We have been together a long time, we are comfortable together. It may not be "exciting", but it is wonderful.

I will not acknowledge her presence at the game if she is there. I will look great! I will have fun. I will be in control.

I am strong, smart, funny amazing, wonderful, beautiful and in love with my husband. She is none of those things.

[This message edited by 3kids30years at 1:31 PM, April 12th (Friday)]


BS - mid 50's
WH - mid 50's
DDay - 3/2/13 - 2:07pm
2year+ "passionate" EA/PA

Married 30+ years and here I am. Heartbroken.
4/14 Trying to make it thru each day
8/14 - I may be done, we will see


Posts: 209 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Nor Cal
callmecrazy
♀ Member
Member # 38765
Default  Posted: 1:57 PM, April 12th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Did he write her a letter stating that he is ending it with her and that you are his focus and who he wants to be with? If not, it may help to reassure you. If he has said he will do whatever you need thats a good sign. It will be hard, but try to ignore her. Grab his hand and stand tall.
HUGS AND STRENGTH!

Posts: 279 | Registered: Mar 2013
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 2:01 PM, April 12th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

3k30y

You are correct, you are a smart, stong, beautiful person. The fact that you can pull if off so soon after DDay is amazing.

I don't think I could do it. You are doing so well. You are an inspiration to others on this site, that I am sure.

Just a thought, is there another family member that can take your daughter, and give yourself a break. You and Hubby have some time to yourselves, and go on a date? I get wanting to be there to show you how good you are doing. But that private time while in R is very important to healing.

Any Congrats. You Are One tough Chick.

((((and strength))))


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8084 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
3kids30years
♀ Member
Member # 38879
Content  Posted: 2:13 PM, April 12th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Did he write her a letter stating that he is ending it with her and that you are his focus and who he wants to be with?

He sent an email - that I saw. He told her his focus was on me and our marriage, that he would not be contacting her again. To the best of my knowledge, they have had no contact since 3/2. She did send me an absolutely useless email. She didn't apologize, just said she understood that I was angry. DUH! Angry is the least of it.

Just a thought, is there another family member that can take your daughter, and give yourself a break.

Unfortunately, no. We have 2 older kids, but no other family in the area. Our anniversary is 4/28 and daughter is going to spend the weekend with a friend. WH is planning a weekend away, just the 2 of us. I am really looking forward to it.

We have also been spending more time together, he is in sales and has been able to meet me for lunch at least 2x a week just to sit and talk. It's been really good for us. We are reestablishing our connections. I almost feel like we are dating again. I know it is HB, but it is very nice. We both realize what we almost lost. Long road ahead, but I feel confident we'll be ok. Not the same, never the same, but we'll get to a good place.

Thanks for the support, it is really helpful to get different perspectives and opinions. I hate that I joined this club, but I'm thankful for the safe placed to go.

[This message edited by 3kids30years at 4:20 PM, April 12th (Friday)]


BS - mid 50's
WH - mid 50's
DDay - 3/2/13 - 2:07pm
2year+ "passionate" EA/PA

Married 30+ years and here I am. Heartbroken.
4/14 Trying to make it thru each day
8/14 - I may be done, we will see


Posts: 209 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Nor Cal
defyinggravity
♀ Member
Member # 25552
Default  Posted: 2:24 PM, April 12th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are so lucky. What I wouldn't have given for my story to go this direction. I hope you realize you are driving the Karma bus.


Me-BS Him-WS
Married-35 years
3 adult children
DD1-1/08. EA. In (fake) MC. "Just friends."
DD2-1/09. PA. Same OW,13 years younger. His married coworker.
Divorced-1/25/11 They married 2/12.


Posts: 86 | Registered: Sep 2009
3kids30years
♀ Member
Member # 38879
Default  Posted: 4:21 PM, April 12th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hope you realize you are driving the Karma bus

And I hope I run right over OW!!! lol


BS - mid 50's
WH - mid 50's
DDay - 3/2/13 - 2:07pm
2year+ "passionate" EA/PA

Married 30+ years and here I am. Heartbroken.
4/14 Trying to make it thru each day
8/14 - I may be done, we will see


Posts: 209 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Nor Cal
bunnie
♀ New Member
Member # 38953
Default  Posted: 5:08 PM, April 12th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are an amazing woman and I admire your strength.
Congrats on rebuilding your relationship. You are an inspiration to all.

Posts: 19 | Registered: Apr 2013
Topic Posts: 29
Pages: 1 · 2

Return to Forum: Just Found Out Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.