Last night at practice my WH and I got there a little early and were walking around the soccer field. Talking, holding hands, just connecting (really nice, by the way). OW pulled up to pick up her daughter. Stopped, saw us and kept going, parked REALLY far away (there were spaces closer)
WH and I just kept walking. She walked over to the field and stopped right on the track - about 40 feet from us. We just kept walking, she had an idiot grin on her face as we got closer. I made sure I had a huge smile on my face (easy to do, I was happy) and we laughed as we passed her. Not a fake laugh, a happy, honest laugh. She may have said something - I don't know, I don't really care. She is invisible to me. She told her daughter where she was parked and walked back to her car. We stopped and walked back to the group of parents, hugs around (we won on Sunday and everyone was in a good mood) and that was it. It felt good to not let her get to me. To ignore her. To live my life without her interference. WH is finally seeing who she really is - and he is wondering what he was thinking during the A. I told him he wasn't thinking. That was part of the problem.
We are working hard on R, and I think we'll make it. Good days, bad days, hard times. But we are in it together. And that is what is making the difference.
Thanks for the support. I am almost looking forward to the next game on Saturday! Almost.
Married almost 30 years and here I am. heartbroken.
Trying to make it thru each day. Trying.
Working toward R - this shit is hard!
I know I am stronger this weekend. I am more confident in myself and my relationship with WH. We are not there yet, but are making progress. We both want to make our M work. We both want R. He has offered to not come to the soccer games, but that only punishes our daughter. And in a weird way I want OW to see us together, smiling, laughing, holding hands, kissing. I want her to see what she never had and never will. I want her to see US. We have been together a long time, we are comfortable together. It may not be "exciting", but it is wonderful.
I will not acknowledge her presence at the game if she is there. I will look great! I will have fun. I will be in control.
I am strong, smart, funny amazing, wonderful, beautiful and in love with my husband. She is none of those things.
[This message edited by 3kids30years at 1:31 PM, April 12th (Friday)]
You are correct, you are a smart, stong, beautiful person. The fact that you can pull if off so soon after DDay is amazing.
I don't think I could do it. You are doing so well. You are an inspiration to others on this site, that I am sure.
Just a thought, is there another family member that can take your daughter, and give yourself a break. You and Hubby have some time to yourselves, and go on a date? I get wanting to be there to show you how good you are doing. But that private time while in R is very important to healing.
Any Congrats. You Are One tough Chick.
Did he write her a letter stating that he is ending it with her and that you are his focus and who he wants to be with?
Just a thought, is there another family member that can take your daughter, and give yourself a break.
Unfortunately, no. We have 2 older kids, but no other family in the area. Our anniversary is 4/28 and daughter is going to spend the weekend with a friend. WH is planning a weekend away, just the 2 of us. I am really looking forward to it.
We have also been spending more time together, he is in sales and has been able to meet me for lunch at least 2x a week just to sit and talk. It's been really good for us. We are reestablishing our connections. I almost feel like we are dating again. I know it is HB, but it is very nice. We both realize what we almost lost. Long road ahead, but I feel confident we'll be ok. Not the same, never the same, but we'll get to a good place.
Thanks for the support, it is really helpful to get different perspectives and opinions. I hate that I joined this club, but I'm thankful for the safe placed to go.
[This message edited by 3kids30years at 4:20 PM, April 12th (Friday)]
I hope you realize you are driving the Karma bus
And I hope I run right over OW!!! lol