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Wayward Side Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: I saw red!!!
atthedoor
♀ Member
Member # 25993
Stop  Posted: 6:59 AM, April 6th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wasnt going to post this but i realize now that i need to get it out.
yesterday i was buying pizza for a party at work. as i am walking to my car i see a man standing in the pocket of his front door, not in the door pocket but in the space of the open door, it looked like he was hiding.
then from behind me a woman ran up to him wearing a scarf on her head and they passionately embraced. he was ass grabbing, it was sick and i couldnt turn away.
i knew what i was looking at.
and then i just lost it when i heard him say "nice disguise".
i threw the pizza into my car and whipped out my phone and started to snap photos, the woman became scared and ran to her car, and then i said "small world bitch i know who your husband is" and i turned to the man and said "youre a piece od sh+t, dont even look at me" i turned back to woman and said " expect the photos is the mail" got in my car and drove off.
I have no idea who these people are! I just lost it, I could barely drive.
I was clearly projecting my self loathing for what i had done. I tried to tell myself i was doing them a favor, but I feel so crazy for behaving this way.
i want to tell mr.atthedoor but i know he will be very angry and this would be an uneccesary trigger for him. or he my laugh. IDK.


Clearly we are on the ten year plan.
DD 10/14/2009

Posts: 138 | Registered: Oct 2009
floridaredman
♂ Member
Member # 15122
Default  Posted: 7:39 AM, April 6th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not only do I think what you did was funny..I think you are a hero. You scared them pretty good. maybe something good can come out of it, maybe it won't, but you at least stopped their secret rendezvous for that day.

[This message edited by floridaredman at 7:40 AM, April 6th (Saturday)]


The simplest thing can be the hardest thing to do....FRM

Posts: 2492 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Florida
authenticnow
♀ Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 7:43 AM, April 6th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think it's very easy to get angry at others when you are looking in the mirror. I hope you did make them think about what they are doing and scare them a little bit.

Now it's time to keep looking in the mirror and figure out what you can do for YOU to change the behaviors and patterns that you detest so much.


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 37533 | Registered: Sep 2007
hardlessons
♂ Member
Member # 35025
Default  Posted: 9:33 AM, April 6th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

atthedoor, your not crazy and your no hero, your human and for a few minutes you got to direct your anger at someone else. Self righteousness is a common flaw of those of us that have screwed up royally and those that just naturally walk on water.. Keep the focus on you.


Me WH
Wife Tired Girl
3 adult sons
"a wayward...annnnd just a tad betrayed."

Posts: 880 | Registered: Mar 2012 | From: Arizona
floridaredman
♂ Member
Member # 15122
Default  Posted: 10:01 AM, April 6th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well atthedoor, I agree with AN. You do need to focus on yourself and why your anger made you react the way you did.
However..I still think you are a hero..you stopped an instance of infidelity..if only that one time..at least you stopped it.
Probably also gave those two people something to think about the next time they attempt to be unfaithful


The simplest thing can be the hardest thing to do....FRM

Posts: 2492 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Florida
atthedoor
♀ Member
Member # 25993
Default  Posted: 10:10 AM, April 6th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It was judgemental for me to behave this way.
I have recently expedienced a large stressor in my life, both of my parents have fallen in and i am now in a care taker position until they get back on their feet.
Just showed me how much further i have to go in learning to deal with stress.
I should have stayed out of it, or shared my testimony...


Clearly we are on the ten year plan.
DD 10/14/2009

Posts: 138 | Registered: Oct 2009
BaxtersBFF
♂ Member
Member # 26859
Default  Posted: 10:42 AM, April 6th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

i want to tell mr.atthedoor but i know he will be very angry and this would be an uneccesary trigger for him. or he my laugh. IDK.
why would he be angry? How do you know he would be angry? and why are you taking the lead on "knowing" what his reaction would be? Not fair to him is it?


WH - 44
BW - gerrygirl

Posts: 6099 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Boise
uncertainone
♀ Member
Member # 28108
Default  Posted: 11:15 AM, April 6th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Atthedoor, has your husband changed in his treatment of you? Has your marriage become safe for you BOTH?


Me: 37

'til the roof comes off. 'til the lights go out. 'til my legs give out, can't shut my mouth


Posts: 6795 | Registered: Mar 2010
atthedoor
♀ Member
Member # 25993
Default  Posted: 12:29 PM, April 6th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

absolutely i should tell my BH.
i dont need to buffer for him but i have. our relationship is improving at a snails pace. i have decided to stay in my marriage and so has bh. we have mountains of damage go get through.
my restraint comes from my own selfishness. i dont want to hear something a long the lines of "that was you five years ago" because it literally was.
UO my relationship is.much safer than ever before, i am much more confrontational (hello) and am expressing my feeling.
i am going to tell BH what i did. i know i need to


Clearly we are on the ten year plan.
DD 10/14/2009

Posts: 138 | Registered: Oct 2009
Card
♂ Member
Member # 23667
Default  Posted: 2:39 PM, April 6th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

i want to tell mr.atthedoor but i know he will be very angry and this would be an uneccesary trigger for him. or he my laugh. IDK.

When I counseled with Dr. Willard Harley, Jr., the author of, Surviving An Affair, he said, at any time I have the thought "I shouldn't tell my spouse _______ "(fill in the blank), then it's something that clearly needs to be told.
Otherwise, I'm keeping secrets again....

I'm glad you've decided to be honest about your day with your husband. It's a great sign of recovery when this begins to occur regularly.


As far as your reaction toward the couple that was obviously cheating, KUDOS to you! We often speak even louder when we say nothing at all. This too was/is excellent. You're recognizing inappropriate behaviors. :)

[This message edited by Card at 2:40 PM, April 6th (Saturday)]


WH (me)
BS (her)

D-Days April - Oct. 2007 Recovery started Nov. 2007

"Found Myself", I was right there in my shoes all along!
Search for self called off!

Why Repentance Is Necessary? Because Undeserved Mercy Empowers Entitlement/Sin


Posts: 570 | Registered: Apr 2009
hardlessons
♂ Member
Member # 35025
Default  Posted: 3:45 PM, April 6th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When I was proof reading a book for Hemingway called "Drop it like its Pompous".

Atthedoor, it is a crazy world out there and while recognizing bad behavior is great, your safety is more important than beating your chest and making a point. Be safe, stay focused and heal.

[This message edited by hardlessons at 3:45 PM, April 6th (Saturday)]


Me WH
Wife Tired Girl
3 adult sons
"a wayward...annnnd just a tad betrayed."

Posts: 880 | Registered: Mar 2012 | From: Arizona
Francheska
♀ Member
Member # 33550
Default  Posted: 9:53 AM, April 8th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Excuse my French but... You fucking rock! I don't know if it's just my perception but it doesn't seem like there're aren't many, if any people that are around to give folks having an A a good swift kick in the ass! If people would take more personal responsibility for what they see and hear. Maybe folks would think twice before the fuck up someone else's life. Good for you.


My EA, Two years.
WH
1st DD EA 6/28/11 ended when he started PA with whore # 2 8/16/11 -- 11/13/11 WH told me he ended it but the A went underground , true NC Feb, 2012
Kids: 3
Married 10 years, together 15.
Trying R.

Posts: 188 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Ohio
Topic Posts: 12

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