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Newest Member: leftfordust (44208)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Going Backwards!
twiceburned
♀ Member
Member # 21590
Default  Posted: 10:15 AM, April 6th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I thought I was doing well, and all of a sudden, the stress of moving has me in a tailspin.
My ex, who will get half of the equity of the sale of the house, is away with his GF, having yet another vacation. I feel so overwhelmed and bitter packing, cleaning, downsizing, etc all by myself.

Any tips on moving forward and ditching this anger? I can't stand myself today!


How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time......

Posts: 151 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Southeastern US
Survivor3512
♀ Member
Member # 37946
Default  Posted: 10:21 AM, April 6th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Twice))) Moving is just hard and it sucks. Try to think about how once this is done, that's one less thing that ties you to your x. That means you're one step closer to putting all of the past hurt and pain behind you. One step closer to being really free. One step closer to being at peace. Hang in there- you can do this. Things are gonna get better from here.


Me (BS)- 36
Divorced
----------------------------------------------------------
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming- Dorie

Posts: 293 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Southeastern U.S.
twiceburned
♀ Member
Member # 21590
Default  Posted: 10:54 AM, April 6th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It is amazing how much strength a stranger can infuse into another person.

Thank you Survivor, I was able to meet my goal of packing just TWO boxes. Now I am going to do a few more, just because I can. I really believe in new beginnings.


How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time......

Posts: 151 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Southeastern US
stillstrong
♀ Member
Member # 36144
Default  Posted: 10:59 AM, April 6th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

One thing I did to make me feel better was leave behind every single picture of us, every love note, card, letter, photo album (before kids)... It just made me feel good to show him that those things didn't have meaning for me anymore. I knew he wouldn't throw them away so he'd have to keep them.
Maybe it will cause trouble down the road when OW wonders why he still has it all.


Me BS 47
Him WS 51
DDay LTA Feb 21, 2006
R until DDay 2EA's 1/31/12 ONS 2/5/12 Broken NC 7/12/12
Moved out 9/12
Legally Separated 3/13


Posts: 848 | Registered: Jul 2012
Amazonia
♀ Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 11:42 AM, April 6th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Girl, are you packing all alone!? Call some friends, have them each bring a bottle of wine and a few boxes, and you'll be done before you know it!


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13553 | Registered: Jul 2011
phmh
♀ Member
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 3:00 PM, April 6th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Get yourself some sort of reward for the work you've done today. Like a favorite ice cream flavor, fancy beer, a massage; something.

I know it's tough and moving is stressful even under the best conditions! As Survivor said, it's one less thing that tied you to the X. I found that my true healing began once the divorce was final, house was sold, car titles were transferred, etc. In other words, once everything truly had been severed and I could move on as a single entity. You'll get there. Know that this is temporary!


Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark. -Michelangelo


Posts: 3266 | Registered: Dec 2011
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 3:01 PM, April 6th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm on my fifth move in as many years. I feel your pain, but the upside is that the pile gets smaller every time.

Leaving the house is the hardest first step, and the fact that he's not helping makes it tougher.

There will be peace on the other side though. And wine...

((((TB))))))


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17103 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
torn2bits
♀ Member
Member # 28376
Default  Posted: 8:36 PM, April 6th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You have gotten some good advice here. Yes, get some friends to help and remember that you are moving FORWARD in your life. This is a good thing!


Me: 44/WH (SA): 49
M: 24 years 3 kids over 10 yrs old
EA/ PA Dec. 2009 -Divorce pending

Posts: 1240 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Midwest
BrokenSpirit50
♀ Member
Member # 34485
Default  Posted: 8:58 PM, April 6th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

TB...I'm so sorry, all this crap sucks. I see you were married a long time too.

When you get in your new place invite some friends over for an impromptu party. It will be all your own place and own friends. Leave those bad memories behind.

I wish I could help you pack. Here is some cyber help coming your way.


Me BS 54
Him WH 55
M 32 yrs - together 40 yrs
Kids 0
D-Day 12-18-11 (WH didn't want to R)
Divorced 6-21-12 Done!

If the grass is greener on the other side....water your own lawn.


Posts: 239 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Midwest
Survivor3512
♀ Member
Member # 37946
Default  Posted: 9:49 PM, April 6th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hope you had a good and productive day today. You've been on my mind. So glad to see that you made some packing progress. Packing and moving were both very hard for me. But I feel sooo much better now that I am in my own place. It's a relief. I hope it'll be the same for you.


Me (BS)- 36
Divorced
----------------------------------------------------------
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming- Dorie

Posts: 293 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Southeastern U.S.
Topic Posts: 10

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