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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Stbx changed his mind re: custody evaluator. wwyd?
dmari
♀ Member
Member # 37215
Question  Posted: 8:04 PM, April 7th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We went to a predecree hearing at the end of March. He basically stated in his declaration that it was my fault that the kids don't want to talk or see him; he stated that I am alienating his children from him and that is a form of abuse; and that the ONLY way to prove he is a good father and that I'm alienating the children from him is to have a custody evaluator.

In my response, I provided proof that everything he stated was bullshit. I stated that if the court felt that they needed a custody evaluator to make a sound decision, I would agree to it. So we negotiated in the hall and did not go before a judge.

But before leaving, the judge called both our attorneys in and stated that she wanted the name of our custody evaluator within 2 weeks (this Wednesday). So we signed the custody evaluator agreement.

Now, he changes his mind??? He makes all these bullshit allegations and then when it comes time to show proof, he fucking changes his mind? He says he doesn't want to pay the thousands of dollars. He also got a new attorney apparently. Idiot.

I don't think we can just change our minds on something like a custody evaluator, can we? Especially if the judge wants it?

I don't care either way but if he can change his mind, then I want him to give me full physical and legal custody and admit he is a fuckhead, oops, I meant I want him to admit that he lied in his affidavit.

What would you do? Has this happened to you? Are we allowed to change our minds if a judge specifically asks for something?

Thank you!!

eta: typos and thank you!!

[This message edited by dmari at 8:05 PM, April 7th (Sunday)]


Me (BS): 43 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Divorced September 30, 2014
"It's always darkest before the dawn ..."

Posts: 2270 | Registered: Oct 2012
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 10:20 PM, April 7th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would think that if a judge ordered it then you would have to. I'm not sure though.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4788 | Registered: Feb 2008
little turtle
♀ Member
Member # 15584
Default  Posted: 10:27 PM, April 7th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You both signed the agreement for the judge. I don't see how it would be good for STBX to not follow through with that, especially since the ONLY way to prove he is a good father is to have a custody evaluator. Let STBX figure it out.


Failure is success if we learn from it.

Posts: 4202 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: michigan
trebleclef
♀ Member
Member # 33488
Default  Posted: 12:23 PM, April 8th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What Advice are you getting from your lawyer on this?


True remorse isn't followed by a "but".

Posts: 1809 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: Alberta
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 1:44 PM, April 8th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If he's willing to settle on whatever kind of custody/visitation arrangement you prefer, avoid the parenting evaluator route. Trust me on this.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9821 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
dmari
♀ Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 3:34 PM, April 8th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My attorney asked me what I wanted to do. I asked that he check if it's even possible to cancel an order from a judge.

Nature_Girl: I hear you loud and clear. Thank you for reminding me! Lies lies lies.


Me (BS): 43 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Divorced September 30, 2014
"It's always darkest before the dawn ..."

Posts: 2270 | Registered: Oct 2012
damncutekitty
♀ Member
Member # 5929
Default  Posted: 12:23 PM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's entirely possible he didn't realize how much they cost or that he would have to pay. Perhaps the new lawyer made him realize that "using the kids as pawns to hurt Dmari" was just not a good financial decision.


Keep calm and carry on.

Posts: 49482 | Registered: Nov 2004 | From: Minneapolis
Topic Posts: 7

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