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Newest Member: sandihaze (45362)

Just Found Out     Print Topic    
User Topic: Wife left me for her new boss
refuz2bavictim
♀ Member
Member # 27176
Default  Posted: 7:52 AM, October 11th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When I got to this part...
The respondent tole me to fuck off at mediation and told the children to call my new partner "dick" instead of Richard.

I didn't know whether to laugh, cheer for you, or feel sad for your kids. She has lost her mind.

It's absurd, it's funny, it's sad and..it's on a legal document!?!?!


BS:ME DDay: 7/18/09 Last of TT 7/11/10
MOW's EA/PA all were my "friends" but one


Posts: 2372 | Registered: Jan 2010
k94ever
♀ Member
Member # 11176
Default  Posted: 8:08 AM, October 11th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Be on the safe side and have someone with you any time you and the STBXWW come in contact. If you can't find someone....can you carry a recorder on you to record the verbals?


k9


BS: 56
WS: 53
Betrayed: 23 years
Affairs: 14 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.

Posts: 6582 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: Wisconsin
Blobette
♀ Member
Member # 36519
Default  Posted: 8:41 AM, October 11th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG -- I cannot imagine the superhuman control you must need in dealing with this. But everyone else is right -- you must be better than best, gooder than good, spotless. Her own craziness will bury her.


BS (me): 50
WS: 50
Married: 26 yrs
Kids: 2
OW: Co-worker, 7 yr LTA
DD 8/1/2012, Working on R

Posts: 1061 | Registered: Aug 2012
gonnabe2016
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 8:48 AM, October 11th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1) IIRC, you guys are working under an informal agreement, nothing about placement is court-ordered yet, right? So. *yawn* All she's doing with this is giving you an opportunity to put that *demand* note that she sent you out there for all to see.

(can't remember the other numbers, but:)

The mediation thing -- She's claiming that you made rude comments to her in mediation? That's funny. You must be a TERRIBLE guy for making *rude* comments towards her.
Ok. So that means that you call the mediator as a witness or get her statement. Again, depending on your stbxww's attitude during mediation -- this accusation may hurt her more than you. Oh, and P.S. -- People being rude to each during mediation is quite common. If there weren't any bristly feelings and the people could *play nice*, then there would be very little need for mediation, right?

Inappropriate TV -- seriously? You can't even turn on the tv without being able to see *something* that *someone* would find inappropriate. Heck I remember when Teletubbies started playing -- there was some big hubbub because people were saying that the purple one was gay or something. Ridiculous. But again -- she opened a door that she'll probably wish that she hadn't -- because how sensible is it to act all righteous about you letting the kids watch car chases on tv when she is flaunting her relationship with Gru right in their faces? I don't see how it gets much more inappropriate than that.

You absconding with the kids to France. You just took them there and brought them back, as planned. Your stbxww has their passports. How does she think you're gonna get them over the border? Smuggle them over in the middle of the night while dodging border patrol? Seems a bit melodramatic to me.

Glad to hear that your solicitor has gotten tired of your stbxww's games and has taken over......just hang in there.


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8085 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
cantbelieve
♀ Member
Member # 22028
Default  Posted: 8:58 AM, October 11th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What planet is she from? Hasn't she caused undo harm to her children by sleeping with another man outside of her marriage? Turning her kid's lives upside down! Give me a break.

I just pray this judge will laugh at all of her allegations. I would love to see you get full custody.

Let her just keep digging her own grave.


Me: BS (58)
Him: WS (58)
LTA 4 years with co-worker
DS(26)
DD(23)
DD(20)
Married 29 years
D-day1 5/08
D-day2 11/08
Status: 6 yrs and wondering if I'll ever be truly happy again

Posts: 1069 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: DFW
sinsof thefather
♀ Member
Member # 29295
Default  Posted: 9:00 AM, October 11th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well we can't say we're surprised can we. We knew she had this in her and Thank God, you were already sort of expecting it so it's not come as much of a bolt out of the blue as it could have done.

What a low blow.

aas, I'm with everyone else here and agree with all that you have already been advised so far. The thing to remember though, is that as laughable as this is - (and it is laughable as pointed out by you earlier) the fact is she means it and she means to do you the maximum harm she can with this - and she is not joking. She's deluded but she's also very vicious with it. Be very careful of any interactions you have to have with her and most definitely do not react to this in her presence - do everything through your solicitor. What k9 has suggested is a good idea too, until this is all finally over.


As for the claims she's actually made - well - we can all see those for what they are. She has no evidence to back her claims up - you, on the other hand do have evidence. You have the letters back and forth as evidence of her denying you access to your children, and actually following through and withholding them, you have the letter from the teacher showing your son wants more time with you, and you have the evidence of you already having taken the children to France and returning them safely, and on time, from their holiday this summer to counter her 'abduction' fears. Her claims are clearly ludicrous. Especially this one....

"I could fail to send them to school on time and furthermore could fail to provide them with all of their school equipment".

Your response to this;

Does she not remember that I currently take them to school every Thursday morning and not once have they been late or not had the correct equipment


...was priceless.... and the nearest I came to laughing in this whole thing.. I mean what's the difference between Thursday and Monday mornings in her deluded brain? She thinks you are capable of doing it on Thursdays but not Mondays?? Wow.

But the thing is, aas, she is mean, vicious, deluded and she really means you as much harm as she can do you - so play it safe in everything you do - and let your solicitor (and barrister) be the ones to take it from here to call her bluff about providing her proof via the (non existent) police report about the swimming pool event and everything else she claims. The real beauty of this is, she has no evidence - but you do. Stay strong.


...second star to the right and straight on till morning.

Posts: 1882 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: UK
cliffside
♀ Member
Member # 38803
Default  Posted: 9:54 AM, October 11th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She is such a piece of work. Her clams are laughable, at best, but I would still cover my ass to drive that point home.
1)Get the statement from the teacher.
2) Get the emails communicating taking the kids to France. Get copies of the airline tickets with times and their passports showing you did exactly as planned.
3) Contact the school and ask them to give the attendance status of every Thursday you were to bring the kids to school since the first time you did it.
4) Document every time SHE withheld the children from YOU.
5) Write out the details of the altercations so your story is heard.

Stay strong. If you look up "psychobitch" in the dictionary, I'm pretty sure you'll find a picture of her.


Me: BS 39
Him: WH 41
2 Kids
D-Day: 2/3/13
Broke NC 3/14
Very skeptically in R for now...

Posts: 269 | Registered: Mar 2013
Secrets Kept
♀ Member
Member # 40630
Default  Posted: 12:40 PM, October 11th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG AAS,
You ask what we think?

I for one want to fly over there & ick the bitches ads!!

I haven't posted my story on my profile yet because it is so long ago & is so complicated. But that is because my XWH beat the crap out of me so much that his infidelity pretty much took back seat to it.

So it royally pissed me off that she files false claims against you.

My father was in law enforcement for many years & they see it all, along with judges, so they will see it as the BS it truly is.

By the way....HAPPY BIG 40 BIRTHDAY!!!


Marriage #1=BW-46 (now)
XWH-Deceased on his 36 bday
Divorced in 1996
Marriage #2= Married in 2003
H-44
2 kids together-DS14 & DD12
"All this time I was finding myself & I didn't know I was lost"

Posts: 219 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Midwest USA
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 6:24 PM, October 11th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, this IS a nice Happy Birthday present for you!

She's laid out her plan to reveal your HIDIOUS abuse and twisted morality in front of the judge. Oh Horrors!

Now you have a chance, as per the advice above, to counter her point-by-point concerning her allegations of abuse. And to lay out your evidence, records, etc., to counter her claims of your negligence and inability to parent.

Pardon me while I hurl ... or laugh. Lord knows, one doesn't know which to do!

So keep on gathering evidence, hold your cards REALLY close to your chest, and remember Victory conditions. It doesn't matter if you "win" every skirmish, but then lose the final, deciding fight you lost. Victory conditions mean that you win the ultimate fight in front of the judge. Eyes on the prize. (((hugs)))


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4943 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
2long
♂ New Member
Member # 10570
Default  Posted: 7:02 PM, October 11th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, for Rice Cake!

It sounds like you've got your waterfowl coaxial, but it can't hurt 2 be even more prepared.

a guy who went through hell dealing with a crazy XWW. He may still be dealing with her, though he hasn't posted an update in several months.

The thing he did smart was 2 carry a voice recorder whenever he was near his CSTBXWW now CXWW. And since here (maybe there, 2_), you can't use these recordings in court if you don't tell the other person you're taping them and ask their permission 2 do it, he always told her and always asked if it was okay 2 2rn the recorder on. If she said no, he wouldn't talk 2 her and he'd extricate himself from her presence as soon as possible, documenting anything that transpired, in detail, with the time and place.

Point being, you can't be 2 careful, even if the Crazy one appears 2 be giving you all the ammunition. Be prepared for anything.

-ol' 2long

[This message edited by SI Staff at 4:49 PM, October 15th (Tuesday)]


Posts: 20 | Registered: May 2006 | From: So. Cal
shiloe
♀ Member
Member # 1224
Default  Posted: 9:07 PM, October 11th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

First Off . . .
mum confirmed that POS/ Gru is bloody ugly with googly eyes, hunched shoulders and no ass

and
to call my new partner "dick" instead of Richard

I have not done mediation yet but are those meeting not transcribed? Or at least there was a mediator there that would have heard this exchange, no?

The judge is NOT going to look favorably on her if she has no evidence backing up her allegations . . she may piss him off


But remember, good love is hard to find . . -Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
BS - 54
Cheater -54
Married 26 yrs
DD - 21 DD -19 DS-17
A#1 2000 with married ho-worker/neighbor ow#1
A#2 2007-? OW#2 LTA with yet another married ho-worker. Kicked h

Posts: 615 | Registered: Mar 2003
Daysie
♀ Member
Member # 38873
Default  Posted: 7:12 AM, October 12th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

AAS - I had to post after the crazy letter you just received.

I work with women that have suffered Domestic Abuse and I find the points she has raised against you insulting to these women. Your soon to be XWW is a joke.

Just a thought for you - There is data out there relating to a rise in men experiencing Domestic Abuse.

Have a look on the net. Might be useful.

You are in my thoughts (((Hugs)))


Me BS 56
Him WH 56
M 36yrs
A 32yrs ago with my then BF
DD 1 / DS 1
Who is this man ??????


Posts: 85 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: UK
OptimisticWife
♀ Member
Member # 36587
Default  Posted: 5:57 PM, October 12th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so looking forward to your court date. I really pray a judge firmly puts your CSTBXWW in her place!

I can't imagine what it would be like not only to suffer the heartbreak and trauma of infidelity but to then grieve the loss of the person you once loved and see them change to this extreme. It must be so frustrating and painful. The restraint you have shown out of human decency and love of your boys is nothing short of awesome.
Keep raising above her crap AAS. Her day is coming. Best wishes


Posts: 190 | Registered: Aug 2012
allatsea
♂ Member
Member # 38923
Default  Posted: 12:38 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My solicitor has written and although she believes that cstbxww has a flimsy case she is still concerned that the judge will take all matters seriously and in particular any involvement from the Police. Wife is unlikely to concede her position so the conciliation could take several hours. She wants me to respond formally to the accusations but not until the very last minute in order to prevent crazybitch involving the school. The court appointed family liaison officers are known to be old fashioned and favour the woman.

Not feeling confident


Me 40
WW 38
Together 19 years
Married for 9
DS(1) 9
DS(2) 7
Dday 10th Feb 2013
She moved in with POS and took kids 23rd Mar 2013. WW now has new baby
Divorced April 2014

Posts: 721 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: UK
Exit Wounds
♀ Member
Member # 32811
Default  Posted: 12:44 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am asking God for help. Hang in there. You never know where this will end but either way hang on and don't give up!

Fight!

We are backing you up!


Posts: 2486 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...and my dog...
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 12:55 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If the police were involved there would be a police report, wouldn't there be? See if you can find a police report and then tell CSTBXWW to produce the police report when the police were supposedly involved.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9801 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
cliffside
♀ Member
Member # 38803
Default  Posted: 1:35 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

AAS, I second the police report - can you get that?


Me: BS 39
Him: WH 41
2 Kids
D-Day: 2/3/13
Broke NC 3/14
Very skeptically in R for now...

Posts: 269 | Registered: Mar 2013
allatsea
♂ Member
Member # 38923
Default  Posted: 3:45 AM, October 15th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks guys,

I'm not too worried about the police incidents because, as you have already pointed out, it is easy to prove her wrong. I still don't think I have any reason to worry as I have written my response to her form and it reads back quite well.

I find it really emotionally draining that she is doing this. She knows I am a good dad and don't deserve this.
She knows she is barefaced lying and not just twisting the truth.

It's one thing to bury ones head in the sand by blaming the BS but to outright lie to a court is just incredible.

I'm glad you guys and also my friends closer to home are supporting me.

If I lose my children to her I have no reason to go on



Me 40
WW 38
Together 19 years
Married for 9
DS(1) 9
DS(2) 7
Dday 10th Feb 2013
She moved in with POS and took kids 23rd Mar 2013. WW now has new baby
Divorced April 2014

Posts: 721 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: UK
Abbondad
♂ Member
Member # 37898
Default  Posted: 5:26 AM, October 15th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I find it really emotionally draining that she is doing this. She knows I am a good dad and don't deserve this.
She knows she is barefaced lying and not just twisting the truth.

I know it's emotionally draining, AAS. I am experiencing some paralysis at the moment too, brought on by emotional exhaustion.

Try to stop yourself from spending time thinking thoughts that begin with "She knows..." This is agonizingly futile. It is pointless and only serves to exhaust you further. And likely "she knows you know she knows..."

It doesn't matter. Just plod on through the fight. Day by day, one round at a time. Get knocked down, scream, then get back up and keep fighting for your kids.

Leave her alone, mentally, in the misery she has created for herself and dragged all of you into.

Strength.


Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
-Dune


Posts: 1627 | Registered: Dec 2012
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 7:13 AM, October 15th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I find it really emotionally draining that she is doing this.
Most likely her strategy. Hoping you will give up and give in. <softly> bitch!


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9801 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
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