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Just Found Out     Print Topic    
User Topic: Wife left me for her new boss
allatsea
♂ Member
Member # 38923
Default  Posted: 5:43 AM, January 15th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Probabale

C stands for crazy. Abbondad has started using it for his ex, too!

Last night we had round two of the 'negotiation'. I have to call it that but it was clear that she has no real intention of compromising at all. In fact, it wasn't her I was negotiating with. It was Gru, I'm sure of it. It was all done over email and the rudeness, aggression and accusations were awful. I kept on track and we boiled the discussion down to arguing over a single number.

By the end of a long and painful night we were only 10K apart and both sides had made some sacrifices. Despite being threatened and told that the judge will award her sole custody of the children I persevered.

I made one last ditch attempt and offered to split the difference. She REJECTED it. She said she would rather go to court and take her chances. This will immediately cost her 2,000 and delay things by 3 months. She will be 8.5 months pregnant by then and in the meantime will have to pay her half of the mortgage for another 3 months, too.

I've since written to her lawyer in the hopes that they can persuade her to settle. She/ he are so angry and deluded.


Me 40
WW 38
Together 19 years
Married for 9
DS(1) 9
DS(2) 7
Dday 10th Feb 2013
She moved in with POS and took kids 23rd Mar 2013. WW now has new baby
Divorced April 2014

Posts: 718 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: UK
mike7
♂ Member
Member # 38603
Default  Posted: 5:48 AM, January 15th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

loot and pillage my man. crush her like a grape.

it's clear they don't love you. She tore apart your family and is now trying to hurt you. she has no respect, no concern, no love.

crush her


BH 53
WW 52
Two kids 21, 18

DDay 1/15/2013


Posts: 542 | Registered: Mar 2013
alback
♂ New Member
Member # 41336
Default  Posted: 6:14 AM, January 15th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

AllatSea,
What happened to all communication via your lawyer, your post Nov 14?

Don't let the witch suck you in with this direct emails horsecrap, she now has it in writing from you that you are willing to meet her half way again?

Go no direct contact unless it involves something happening to the kids?

good luck, stay the course!


Posts: 32 | Registered: Nov 2013
allatsea
♂ Member
Member # 38923
Default  Posted: 6:30 AM, January 15th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Alback,

I hear what you are saying. With the exception of the recent negotiation everything has been through her solicitor.

CSTBXWW has expressed her frustration that I send her solicitor many letters

I don't expect to hear directly from her again


Me 40
WW 38
Together 19 years
Married for 9
DS(1) 9
DS(2) 7
Dday 10th Feb 2013
She moved in with POS and took kids 23rd Mar 2013. WW now has new baby
Divorced April 2014

Posts: 718 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: UK
LivinginLimbo
♀ Member
Member # 35004
Default  Posted: 7:04 AM, January 15th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And once again she's using your children for leverage. Yet another nominee for "mother of the year" award.

I do hope that you prevail.


BS - 62
FWH - 60
Married 34 years
D-Day 2/12/12
Doing well with R

Posts: 1046 | Registered: Mar 2012
allatsea
♂ Member
Member # 38923
Default  Posted: 7:08 AM, January 15th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just got this from my lawyer:

"I am sorry that CSTBXWW continues to be so unpleasant to deal with.

If she was willing to sit down and discuss matters then no doubt some reasonable settlement could be achieved. She has no automatic right to the child benefit. She took the children to live with her without your agreement and therefore arguably if you have a joint residence order you will each be entitled to 50% of this money.

Regarding access to the house (CSTBXWW has threatened to attempt entry), do you think she really will try and re-enter?. The legal answer is that she can re-enter. If however, she causes a breach of the peace in doing so, then the police will ask her to leave. There is no reason why she needs to come into the property. She is just getting angry it seems and trying to score points. I hope she does the right thing and stays out of the house.

I have filed the documents you sent. It sounds like she is not getting her way at the moment so that she is behaving in a more desperate manner."

[This message edited by allatsea at 7:08 AM, January 15th (Wednesday)]


Me 40
WW 38
Together 19 years
Married for 9
DS(1) 9
DS(2) 7
Dday 10th Feb 2013
She moved in with POS and took kids 23rd Mar 2013. WW now has new baby
Divorced April 2014

Posts: 718 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: UK
OK now
♀ Member
Member # 14459
Default  Posted: 7:17 AM, January 15th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

loot and pillage my man. crush her like a grape.

I find I agree a lot with Mike7. Great statement! Declare war, take no prisoners.

Posts: 1748 | Registered: May 2007 | From: NC
alback
♂ New Member
Member # 41336
Default  Posted: 7:23 AM, January 15th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Allatsea:
Perfect! Your directives via your lawyer are frustrating her. It was at her request so TFB. The witch is more likely to settle with formal requests, it means her lawyer gets to advise her every time at her expense too.

She is a witch and knows how to pull your chain, easier to do it to you with direct contact. Go no contact unless an emergency with the kids. Stick to it, this will settle quicker.


cheers,
alback


Posts: 32 | Registered: Nov 2013
k94ever
♀ Member
Member # 11176
Default  Posted: 12:06 PM, January 15th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And to think she thought you would just roll over and go quietly away.

snork.


k9


BS: 56
WS: 53
Betrayed: 23 years
Affairs: 14 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.

Posts: 6580 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: Wisconsin
Getting to Happy
♀ Member
Member # 35200
Default  Posted: 12:45 PM, January 15th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your strength is amazing. Hang in there!


WS him
BS me DD's 26, 25' DS 23
dd1 1-1-10, dd2 Mothers Day 2011, dd3 3-12-12 Hawaii trip with ho-worker...

Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
Unknown


Posts: 1140 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: La La Land
sinsof thefather
♀ Member
Member # 29295
Default  Posted: 1:55 PM, January 15th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In fact, it wasn't her I was negotiating with. It was Gru, I'm sure of it. It was all done over email and the rudeness, aggression and accusations were awful. I kept on track and we boiled the discussion down to arguing over a single number.
I just love that you didn't rise to the bait and kept on track aas. That the rudeness and aggression were coming from them, not you...and that you still held your ground.

...and

By the end of a long and painful night we were only 10K apart
I made one last ditch attempt and offered to split the difference. She REJECTED it. She said she would rather go to court and take her chances. This will immediately cost her 2,000 and delay things by 3 months.
and in the meantime will have to pay her half of the mortgage for another 3 months, too.
So let me get this straight. 5,000 minus the 2,000 solicitor and court costs, and minus the three months of mortgage payments leaves...what? I'd say it leaves proof that you really do have a very stubborn and plain crazy ex who would rather cut off her nose to spite her face than cede an inch to you. I can just picture her and Gru sitting there at their screen spitting nails... because you were sticking to your guns...and the facts. It must have driven them nuts...and will cost them a lot of aggravation to get the change out of that five grand. If in fact, they even get it.

Priceless.

[This message edited by sinsof thefather at 1:58 PM, January 15th (Wednesday)]


...second star to the right and straight on till morning.

Posts: 1880 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: UK
happyman64
♂ Member
Member # 33212
Default  Posted: 8:09 PM, January 15th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

AllAtSea

While it is frustrating to deal with your crazy Ex and her Affair partner does it make you ponder if it will be better to have her in court with her big belly and your lawyer pointing out to the judge the following:

A. Your wife cheated on you.
B. Your wife took your sons to live at her affair partners house without your permission.
C. Your wife has kept to an erratic parenting schedule to be emotionally cruel to you.
D. Your wife is 8.5 months pregnant by the OM and you are not legally divorced.

Does your lawyer not think this would be helpful in your case? Would the judge not be moved by any of these facts at all?

[This message edited by happyman64 at 8:15 PM, January 15th (Wednesday)]


Posts: 899 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: New York
allatsea
♂ Member
Member # 38923
Default  Posted: 2:56 AM, January 16th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Happyman,

Whilst I agree with you 100% and consider that she shouldn't be entitled to anything for her actions, the court does not take her immoral behaviour into account. They are quite dispassionate when it comes to dividing assets.

In fact, CSTBXWW is pushing that she should have a greater percentage BECAUSE she is pregnant.
I'm reasonably confident that it will all be settled soon, somehow.

My interraction with her over the past few days has made me realise quite how 'off the rails' she has gone. Her deluded mindset has reached epic proportions. She/ He called me a narcissistic sociopath which I had to laugh at. It's almost like she's transferring her image of herself onto me.

[This message edited by allatsea at 7:04 AM, January 16th (Thursday)]


Me 40
WW 38
Together 19 years
Married for 9
DS(1) 9
DS(2) 7
Dday 10th Feb 2013
She moved in with POS and took kids 23rd Mar 2013. WW now has new baby
Divorced April 2014

Posts: 718 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: UK
sinsof thefather
♀ Member
Member # 29295
Default  Posted: 10:07 AM, January 16th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She/ He called me a narcissistic sociopath..
...and there was me thinking you were the wronged party here... how silly of me!

...of course it's now obvious to me that it's CSTXWW and Gru who are your victims... afterall, you so stubbornly won't just roll over and give them the house, or full custody of the boys... with a pink sunset thrown in for good measure...yep - they're right. It must be you that has a psychosis afterall aas..


...second star to the right and straight on till morning.

Posts: 1880 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: UK
allatsea
♂ Member
Member # 38923
Default  Posted: 10:30 AM, January 16th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sins,

You're funny

If I didn't laugh about the craziness of it all I would be in the corner crying


Me 40
WW 38
Together 19 years
Married for 9
DS(1) 9
DS(2) 7
Dday 10th Feb 2013
She moved in with POS and took kids 23rd Mar 2013. WW now has new baby
Divorced April 2014

Posts: 718 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: UK
cliffside
♀ Member
Member # 38803
Default  Posted: 12:10 PM, January 16th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She/ He called me a narcissistic sociopath..

I believe they call that "projection".

Stay strong and SQUASH this bitch.


Me: BS 39
Him: WH 41
2 Kids
D-Day: 2/3/13
Broke NC 3/14
Very skeptically in R for now...

Posts: 269 | Registered: Mar 2013
Blobette
♀ Member
Member # 36519
Default  Posted: 2:56 PM, January 16th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

AAS -- believe me, the number of times I've thought how handy the expression, "Ya jest gorra laf" is, lately!.


BS (me): 50
WS: 50
Married: 26 yrs
Kids: 2
OW: Co-worker, 7 yr LTA
DD 8/1/2012, Working on R

Posts: 1061 | Registered: Aug 2012
allatsea
♂ Member
Member # 38923
Default  Posted: 6:59 AM, January 17th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I didn't mention this in my last couple of posts because it is trivial and not particularly important but I've since realised that there continues to be a significant lack of empathy from CSTBXWW. I don't say this out of surprise but mainly because I've been incredulous over her recent statement that I was the narcissitic socipoath in our relationship.

She made that outrageous accusation only a few minutes after she had proposed the following during negotiation regarding our family caravan that she has ended up with(trailer for you US fellows). Paraphrasing here:
"It would be easier for me if you would collect, wash, prepare, photograph, advertise, negotiate and sell said item whilst guaranteeing that you then give me all of the proceeds with minimum expectation of 6000."

Basically, I do all of the work, take all of the risk just so she doesn't have to sell it herself. And I would want to do this because.....?

Why would she imagine that I would want to go through the heartache of selling our beloved caravan that we've had many a wonderful family holiday in and then give her ALL of the proceeds?!!!


Fucking crazy bitch


Me 40
WW 38
Together 19 years
Married for 9
DS(1) 9
DS(2) 7
Dday 10th Feb 2013
She moved in with POS and took kids 23rd Mar 2013. WW now has new baby
Divorced April 2014

Posts: 718 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: UK
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 7:43 AM, January 17th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She is a real piece of work. Did she consider you a sperm donating, hired worker the entire marriage?

FTB. Can't wait to see the karma hammer come down her, cause when it does it's gonna be hard.

You are doing amazingly well.
Stay Strong.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8707 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 7:59 AM, January 17th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Fucking crazy bitch
I am aghast at her latest request re the caravan. I am literally speechless.
narcissistic sociopath..
She is, in spades.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9798 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
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