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New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Old is not my friend
crushedheart09
♂ Member
Member # 28573
Default  Posted: 9:53 AM, April 8th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My first real attempt at OLD seems to be an excercise in futility.
I guess an honest and direct profile is not enough of a game for those who want "no games".

Oh I am real good at attracting the desperate or someone looking for a baby daddy but apparently unless I am willing to embark on a world cruise or spend every weekend running all over the country providing non-stop entertainment I am not qualified as a suitable companion.

Have people become so shallow that all they want is glitz, fantasy or to possable try to recapture some lost dreams of their youth?
That was the mentallity of my ex when she cheated on me.
Been there done that. Never again!

I think I will download a picture of a GQ model and create a profile stating that I recently won 40 million in a lottery and I am looking for someone to travel the world as my soulmate to which I will pour out my never ending love for while placing her on a monumental pedistal and spend countless hours of worship and money.

Wonder what the response would be?

[This message edited by crushedheart09 at 9:54 AM, April 8th (Monday)]


M 28 years
D 3/2011

Posts: 378 | Registered: May 2010
stupidstupidme
♀ Member
Member # 11888
Default  Posted: 10:02 AM, April 8th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OLD definitely isn't for everyone. It is harder than meeting someone IRL. There are so many different types of people, from really geniune, nice ones, to flat out crazy.

Honestly, though... your post seems really bitter. It reads to me like you are projecting your wife's reasoning for cheating onto the OLD women, and the last paragraph, while it may be a joke - just sounds bitter to me.

Maybe you just aren't ready. OLD takes a tough skin and a good sense of humor.


Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength
August Wilson

Posts: 19732 | Registered: Aug 2006
better4me
♀ Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 11:16 AM, April 8th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry you are not having any luck! OLD is getting "old" for me too. It is a crap shoot. I'm trying to remember that only takes "one" right person to make it worthwhile. Back when I first signed up for match, I got a "6 month guarantee" in that if I didn't meet someone in 6 months I got another 6 months at no cost. The contingency was that each month I had to send out something like 10 emails to 10 different people. Apparently match knew that the odds were better to find someone, the more you emailed (and faced rejection and shallow people).

I am still on the site, and when I get discouraged I try to remember it is a numbers game. When I want to cash it in, I probably really ought to step it up and email more people...the opposite of what I feel like doing.

Keep the honest profile. Maybe be a little less "direct"...be positive in the word choices you use on your profile? I "want this" rather than "don't be this". Have a friend in real life read the profile you've written (or PM it to me?)

It does take a thick skin though...and being willing and able to withstand rejection. And it truly sucks sometimes!!


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3130 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
SeanFLA
♂ Member
Member # 32380
Default  Posted: 11:33 AM, April 8th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I stay away from those OLD who try to appear larger than life ("have your passport ready" type of women). It's my point of view that nobody in my age bracket (mid 40's) with three kids has the time and generally not the money to be running off to Greece, Hawaii or Italy at a moments notice. These are generally divorced women with REAL jobs and responsibilities. I laugh at those people and move on because they have issues and aren't realistic. Sounds to me like they are high maintenance anyhow. I also stay away from those who say they work out twice a week and list themselves as "athletic and toned"...please. You think really highly of yourself but in essence you're average like the rest of us. On the other hand, I get all that OLD rejection. 95% of women do not respond. I've written it off as one of two reasons. Either they aren't really ready to date...or two...they just are there to see what kind of responses they get to see if they still "got it." That is unless George Clooney happens to contact them once the planets align.

Again it's a numbers game. I think your actual success rate of talking to someone, meeting, wanting to meet again and actually dating because you like one another is like 1%-2% when all is said and done. Think about all the women on there you've contacted and what the overall soup to nuts turnout was when all is said and done. It's probably pretty low. Don't beat up on yourself too much. If by chance it does happen, look at the potential returns. Maybe just take a break for a while and see where life leads you.


BS(me) 48
WW 46
1 son 14 yrs old
Married 18 yrs, together 21 yrs

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." ~ Bob Marley


Posts: 1470 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Zombie Land
UndecidedinMA
♀ Member
Member # 33732
Default  Posted: 11:41 AM, April 8th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OLD can be tricky & those direct straight forward profiles can also look like a very bitter person is writing them.

I would honestly suggest that you have a friend of the opposite sex read yours.It is amazing to see how phrases & words can sound so different to the opposite sex.

I was attracting every sleaze in the world until I had one of my guy friends look through mine. He saw how some of the things I said could be misconstrued.

3 months later I met my SO, we have now been together almost 9 years.


ME - BSO
Him - FWSO
OW - DBC Xwife
DDAY 09/14/11 ONS w/DBCxWOW with 4 mos EA
Solidly in R

Posts: 1005 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: MA
Topic Posts: 5

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