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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Spring cleaning
disillusioned12
♀ Member
Member # 37542
Default  Posted: 3:22 PM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Today is my wedding anniversary. Two years. I spent most of last night crying and most of today sleeping. Luckily my mom is staying with me and she's loving quality time with her grandson.

Anyway, last night I made the mistake of reading some old emails from my STBX while he was deployed, while he was having his A. I cried, then felt sick. He professed his love for me and his happiness of starting a family. Yet, he was having an A. So, I deleted the emails. All of them. I feel good about it, but will probably regret it later when my disgust wears off. For now though, I have one less thing to remind me of his hypocrisy and selfishness.

Happy Anniversary to me.


BS (Me)
WS (STBXH)
Married 2 yrs; Together 6 yrs

D-Day 11/14/12
EA(PA?)
Limbo 1 month
False R 2 months.
Status: Divorce on hold


Posts: 228 | Registered: Nov 2012
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 3:34 PM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've deleted/trashed all of that stuff. You won't regret it. One less thing to torture yourself with.

Our final S happened on our 8th wedding anniversary. It will be a tough day to get through this year - not from being wistful but from a regret perspective. I know it gets easier with time.

(disillusioned12))


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5532 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
disillusioned12
♀ Member
Member # 37542
Default  Posted: 2:06 AM, April 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you Strongbutbroken. You're right about having one less thing to torture myself with. Reading them didn't do any good and only made me feel worse. Not sure why I torture myself like this.


BS (Me)
WS (STBXH)
Married 2 yrs; Together 6 yrs

D-Day 11/14/12
EA(PA?)
Limbo 1 month
False R 2 months.
Status: Divorce on hold


Posts: 228 | Registered: Nov 2012
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 7:29 AM, April 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Because you're trying to make sense of it. Trying to 'see' now what you didn't see then.

Maybe you're even soothing yourself that he did love you once.

Maybe its to pick at that wound a little so you have a tangible reason to feel so hurt.

I've done it to myself for all of these reasons and a million others. Deleting them saved me from myself.


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5532 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
disillusioned12
♀ Member
Member # 37542
Default  Posted: 1:53 PM, April 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Uhg. All of the above.


BS (Me)
WS (STBXH)
Married 2 yrs; Together 6 yrs

D-Day 11/14/12
EA(PA?)
Limbo 1 month
False R 2 months.
Status: Divorce on hold


Posts: 228 | Registered: Nov 2012
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 4:17 PM, April 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((disillusioned))))


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 24998 | Registered: Aug 2011
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 4:18 PM, April 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know honey. I promise it won't always hurt this bad.

((disillusioned12))


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5532 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Topic Posts: 7

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