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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Children: sweet and sad
ChoosingHope
♀ Member
Member # 33606
Default  Posted: 8:59 PM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My best friend told me today that her daughter asked her if she and my son (both 8) could cook me and STBX a "special dinner" so that we "make up, stop the divorce," and "get back together again."

It made my eyes tear up. It's been nearly two years since STBX and I have been separated, and my children still think it's as easy as a fancy dinner. So sad.

Meanwhile my daughter got to publish a "story" at school. It was about a girl who gets married in a big white dress. And lives happily ever after. She read this out loud to all the parents in her class.

I'm finding everything so hard and so sad lately.


Posts: 1702 | Registered: Oct 2011
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 9:05 PM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DS #2 and DD still draw pictures that show their family as STBX, me, the two of them, and DS #1. In the meantime, STBX is trying his darndest to sell the OW and her two kids to them and to get them all excited about their "new family."

He hasn't a clue. All our kids want is for the two of us to get back together, not a new stepmommy and stepsiblings.

It is very sad. In their attempts to escape the BSs, the WSs often end up damaging the innocent kids far more.

(((CH)))


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3620 | Registered: Oct 2011
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 11:47 PM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh mercy, this is breaking my heart.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9815 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
tabitha95
♀ Member
Member # 22033
Default  Posted: 11:53 PM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

At last years teacher conference, DS10 had to decorate a folder. He drew a line down the middle and on one side drew a picture of EX, DS10 and DS12 and the pets. Then on the other side, a picture of me, DS10 and DS12.

For Christmas, he apologized that the present he made in class wasn't painted as well as he wanted, but he had to rush and make two, one for me and one for his dad.

I never wanted my kids to know pain and confusion like that. It breaks my heart over and over when I think about it.


BW (me) - 45
DS 14, DS 11
D-Day#1: Oct 30, 2008
D-Day#2: June 3, 2011 (same MOW) Separation: June 3, 2011
Divorce finalized: Feb 2012 (due to 6 month waiting period).

Posts: 3250 | Registered: Dec 2008
Getting to Happy
♀ Member
Member # 35200
Default  Posted: 11:56 PM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My best friend told me today that her daughter asked her if she and my son (both 8) could cook me and STBX a "special dinner" so that we "make up, stop the divorce," and "get back together again."

Out of the mouth of babes...

(((ChoosingHope and Friends and Kiddos)))

Peace and Light to you and yours.


WS him
BS me DD's 26, 25' DS 23
dd1 1-1-10, dd2 Mothers Day 2011, dd3 3-12-12 Hawaii trip with ho-worker...

Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
Unknown


Posts: 1140 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: La La Land
dmari
♀ Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 1:04 AM, April 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm finding everything so hard and so sad lately. Big hugs ChoosingHope.

Infidelity just continues to sneak up during every day moments in our children's lives. Yesterday, I was having a conversation with DS14 and he was telling me that he will never have sex because he doesn't want to have children and have them suffer like he is.

These are the heartbreaking moments that our WS's will never have to deal with. Fucking cowards.


Me (BS): 43 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Divorced September 30, 2014
"It's always darkest before the dawn ..."

Posts: 2268 | Registered: Oct 2012
silverhopes
♀ Member
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 1:16 AM, April 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((((((hugs)))))))))


Find peace. Or sleep on it.
Sometimes my monkeys, sometimes my circus.
Infidelities are like icebergs - they may take many different shapes and sizes, but they all damage your ship.

Posts: 3905 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
Happydays
♂ Member
Member # 38681
Default  Posted: 2:05 AM, April 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My heart broke after reading this thread.

Children so don't deserve this.


BH 33
FWW 32
DS: 3 year old.
Dday 10/14/2012
No remorse so:
Divorced 02/15/2013. No alimony, no CS, got apartment. Won all battles and mind games off the courts.

Posts: 294 | Registered: Mar 2013
torn2bits
♀ Member
Member # 28376
Default  Posted: 7:58 AM, April 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The only thing we can do is to provide warm hugs to them and be the best parents we can be.

My heart goes out to all the children. The worst thing is that I myself had a bad childhood and can see the aftermath. I never, ever wanted that for any kids I had.

I can't control him, I can't fix him and I can't change him.


Me: 44/WH (SA): 49
M: 24 years 3 kids over 10 yrs old
EA/ PA Dec. 2009 -Divorce pending

Posts: 1240 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Midwest
Distraut
♂ Member
Member # 38655
Default  Posted: 8:25 AM, April 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My DS11 and DD13 revealed to me last night that XWW told DD13 her roomate was not a girl like she told DD13 but A POSBF I asked is she said who it was she said no DS11 piped up and said I know and OM's name.I explained that I wanted to tell them but didnt want XWW to hate me or resent me the rest of our lives plus she owns that shit not me.I also told them that when your married its never ok to have a BF or GF.I told them they need to try to respect their M not what she did DS11 said it will be hard to respect her Dad sadly I said I know son.Im glad they finally know and didnt hear it at school.We had some good bonding time DD13 says she will never speak to her again and if I ever let her move back she wants a lock on her door and a mini fridge in her room.I also never wanted my children to experience this awful pain it just sucks XWW believes they will be just fine.


Me47 BS
Her WW40
DD13
DS11
D Day 02/16/13
Married 15 years
divorced 04/02/2013
Moving on!

I asked her if she felt any remorse she said "I cry in the shower"


Posts: 120 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: midwest
ChoosingHope
♀ Member
Member # 33606
Default  Posted: 9:30 AM, April 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((TryingAgainAndChildren)))

(((TabithaAndDS10)))

(((DimariAndDS14)))

(((TorntobitsAndChildren)))

(((DistraughtAndChildren)))


Posts: 1702 | Registered: Oct 2011
TrustGone
♀ Member
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 9:58 AM, April 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know exactly what you mean. My DS was 8 when I filed for D from XWH#1. He is now 19 and in the military. I know he used to hope that his Dad and I would get back together. He always blamed me for the D as I never told him about the OW. He just thought she was Dad's "friend". She dumped XWH#1 shortly after I filed because my money was no longer available to the ex. He immediately developed a dislike for WH#2 because he thought his Dad and I would get back together if it wasn't for him. I am not sure what my ex told him the reason for the divorce was. I am sure it was that I left him for WH#2, which was not the case. I didn't even know WH#2 until 3 months after I filed for D and didn't introduce them until I had been dating WH#2 for about 6 months. I just told him that sometimes adults have differences that just can't be worked out. I have thought about telling him the whole truth now that he is an adult, but I don't want to tarnish the image he has of his Dad. He worships the man and would probably not believe me now anyway after all the lies that his Dad and the in-laws told him.


BW-50
WH#2-51
M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 10:16 AM, April 10th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((everyone on the thread and their sweet kiddos)))

At least they have US.


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3620 | Registered: Oct 2011
Topic Posts: 13

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