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Newest Member: ReasonableDoubt (44577)

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User Topic: Preschool Bullying?
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 6:53 AM, April 13th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG, Jrazz. My heart is breaking. Your poor baby. ((((((((J and little Razz))))))))

I think your message to the director was beautifully done. I can't imagine how many edits it would take for me to walk back from the edge of KILL ALL THE PEOPLE to rational.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 24720 | Registered: Aug 2011
authenticnow
♀ Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 2:50 PM, April 13th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That was a good letter, Jrazz. I hope they address the issue appropriately and that you get a good resolution.

Hugs to the Razz family, especially your little sweetie.


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 37087 | Registered: Sep 2007
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 3:34 PM, April 13th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Jrazz and DD))))


Posts: 34421 | Registered: Mar 2011
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 3:42 PM, April 13th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Awesome letter..

I am interested in the response.

Hugs for Littlerazz.

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4980 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
roughroadahead
♀ Member
Member # 36060
Default  Posted: 3:54 PM, April 13th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Gently, JRazz, 3 is a very common age for nightmares to begin. Developmentally, kids don't "get" fear/fantasy until then. You do need to have a meeting with the teacher and director to get to the bottom of what's going on at school, but I would perhaps avoid going in like this has traumatized her. Hitting and shoving is very common at this age (my kids were both before we figure out they had autism and adjusted their situation accordingly). That said, there should be adequate supervision to minimize the escalation of the conflicts and there should be documentation of everything.

It is really common for 3 year old girls to start ganging up, especially if they have older siblings. When DS was in preschool, there was a group of "cool" girls already, who had princess shoes. It is up to the teachers to intervene, but the instinct is there even at that age. They are just starting to figure the peer social thing out.

Good luck!


BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism

Posts: 725 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: USA
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 4:18 PM, April 13th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Jrazz, I think your letter walks the fine line that it needs to walk. I hope the daycare/school is able to answer you as thoughtfully. I hope they are able to address the problem children and get some results. Like I said in an earlier post, my son is the problem child and we were able to curb the biting incidents (and poor listening) by giving him a sticker chart at school. (He loves getting a sticker for being a good listener!)

(((jrazz and dd)))


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4605 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 4:43 PM, April 13th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks everyone. I feel better, I just hope my letter isn't off-putting to the administration.

The thing that I also need to realize is that I have a mini-adult on my hands and I'm not used to how "normal" kids interact. She has her toddler moments, but she has never hit or bitten or pulled hair, like, ever. She articulates when she's upset, and she's excellent at sharing. We're spoiled rotten, and I need to gear myself up for the fact that it's time to get DD out in the real world, and it's going to be a whole other ballgame for her.

Thanks again everyone for the advice and encouragement.


You will have bad times, but they will always wake you up to the stuff you weren't paying attention to. - Robin Williams

Posts: 16774 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 7:37 AM, April 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just checking in. How did it go? How is little Razz doing?

Posts: 34421 | Registered: Mar 2011
Mama_of_3_Kids
♀ Member
Member # 26651
Default  Posted: 8:44 AM, April 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Jrazz,

I have three kids who are just like Vrazz; they've all been "mini-adults" for a very long time (even DS9, who is Developmentally Delayed has acted like a "mini-adult" since he was about four or five). My kids never had problems with biting, hitting, etc and were/are usually the one's who get hit, kicked, hair pulled, chairs thrown at, and made fun of The point where *I* pulled DS9 out of PreK, at a very good school, was when he was bit to the point of having a scar on his cheek and then a chair thrown at him (by the same kid, who was clearly out of control). Frankly, my kids don't deserve to be treated like that and then not have anyone do anything about it, especially when I am paying top dollar for them to go to PreK there. I was very upset when we had to leave, because my kid wasn't the problem, but their safety comes first. DS went to a public school Daycare after that and we didn't have those kinds of problems. FWIW, DD also had a problem in PreK...she had a little girl tell her she wished that DD would die My h and I went to the teacher and the administration had a meeting with the girls family; after that, the little girl never said anything like that again (and is now one of DD's good friends ).

I guess I just wanted you to know that you're not alone. (((Jrazz and Vrazz)))


Me: FBW/30 Him: FWH/33 The kidlets: DS13, DS10, and DD8 The hounds: Four Shih Tzu's
Finally, completely R'd
Clothed in strength and dignity, with nothing to fear, she smiles when she thinks about the future.~Proverbs 31:25

Posts: 11544 | Registered: Dec 2009
Deeply Scared
♀ Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 8:50 AM, April 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Jrazz & Little Razz)))


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 196993 | Registered: May 2002
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 1:57 PM, April 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you all so much for the support.

Things have gone REALLY well since the email. When I dropped V off yesterday, her primary care teacher asked if I had time to meet with her and the Administrator. They had a sub handy so we could take as much time as I needed to talk through the events on Friday.

They both did an amazing job of trying to address my concerns in a compassionate and involved manner. They discussed the incident thoroughly while still keeping the other family private. They also gave me a fully detailed outline of how they handle these types of children. They have an action item list that they work on with the child and parents. If behaviors are being attended to per the agenda, they continue to work with the child. If his behaviors persist or increase, they mandate a break and have a professional who works with the parent come in to observe the child after the break and see if it makes sense for the child to remain in the class.

It may sound like a big hullabaloo, but I was thinking that if something happened in Vrazz's life, some change (can you imagine...?) and she was reacting poorly and needed help, how great would it be if the school still worked with us for a bit instead of tossing us out into the street? I totally get it.

So they were great. I'm still bummed about what happened, but the attention and care she's getting is amazing. And at the end of the day she needs to be exposed to new situations, I can't just keep her in a box at home.

So I feel good about things.

Thanks again everyone.


You will have bad times, but they will always wake you up to the stuff you weren't paying attention to. - Robin Williams

Posts: 16774 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
simplydevastated
♀ Member
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 2:06 PM, April 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm just catching up with this. I'm glad you had a good resolution. I'm sorry for little V that she had to go through this. Hopefully things turn around for the best for her.

(((HUGS))) to you all.


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5854 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 2:09 PM, April 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Love this update, Jrazz. Kudos to the school for how they are handling things. And big hug for you and Vrazz.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 24720 | Registered: Aug 2011
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 2:17 PM, April 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm glad the school was open and has a strategy on how to handle situations. Please give Little Razz a big hug for me.

Posts: 34421 | Registered: Mar 2011
authenticnow
♀ Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 5:12 PM, April 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's great, Jrazz!


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 37087 | Registered: Sep 2007
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 5:13 PM, April 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks loves.


You will have bad times, but they will always wake you up to the stuff you weren't paying attention to. - Robin Williams

Posts: 16774 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
metamorphisis
♀ Administrator
Member # 12041
Default  Posted: 5:30 PM, April 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wonderful update. Those are professionals with reasonable solutions and excellent communication. And kudos to you for the letter, for giving them a chance to explain and work with you guys. These situations go so much better when everyone is on the same page



“We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”... Anais Nin

Posts: 44199 | Registered: Sep 2006
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