Thanks Baldwin and Chicky for coming to my defense, it is greatly appreciated. She didn't scare me, it would take a lot more than that to scare me off of what I'm doing which is trusting and verifying.
I do not mind your divergent opinions. Imagine my humiliation when I see what my husband views on line, while in a very sexually satisfying marriage. I don't worry about humiliating him with my putting a logger on his machine, actually I think he would be proud of me for figuring it out!
Now he might be very angry if he had something to hide. I actually asked him for his password to FB last week and he didn't want to give it up, and he didn't. I said people who have nothing to hide, hide nothing. He said he had nothing to hide, then I discovered his computer history. Which he actually wasn't hiding, but he went to his bank website, then clicked on xdating.com ????
BIG RED FLAG.
As the ladies stated, the reason this site exists is because of cheating spouses. Cheaters lie.
Again, if you look around the site you will see hundreds of women and men in what they thought were perfect marriages, and perfect relationships who's spouses cheated. So just because my husband is in a happy marriage, he still may want to get some "strange" on the side. Is this out of character for him? YES.
But he has a huge sexual appetite and how am I to know if I am enough for him? I'm sorry that you just don't get it.
I would take the "high road" and bring it up with him if I had a little more information to begin with. When a man clicks on a dating site on a porn website, do you think that he is taking the "high road"? HE clicked the site. I'm just checking on what he's so interested in on that site.
I am just evening out the playing field for myself.
Cheating is war and I'm just using all the weapons available to me just in case.
Look in the CYBER CHEATING thread in the I CAN RELATE FORUM and you may begin to understand.
Yes so far so good as far a chatting or emailing from his home laptop, but I have no idea what the man does for greater than 60 hours a week when he is out of this house commuting and working. He could be doing stuff on his work Ipad, or his work computer, He is the owner of the entire system at work, he's the only IT guy at work so he doesn't have to worry about anyone catching him there.
If I were to bring this up to him at home, he may just take it to his work computers (underground)and I would never never know.
I am protecting myselfhere using the key logger. This way I don't make assumptions and operate on assumptions, I am operating with the FACTS of the situation, which so far are vindicating him.
Thank you for your comments, I will continue to monitor his on-line activity with no guilt or fear of any anger or legal trouble from him for my piece of mind.