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Elaine2012 (original poster member #36099) posted at 10:33 PM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013
I'm just venting here. I shouldn't have to give details of my life to a complete stranger. 
I know that she is working for me. I have to answer a question that I find some embarassement in answering.
Really this just frustrates me to no end. I could use a little reassurance about this whole process.
Me- 60 ish
WH-no longer relevant
Divorced - May 22, 2014
Dday - Blindsided July 2012
Married 35 years
4 adult DD's, 3 SIL, 6 grandchildren
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 10:44 PM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013
(((((Elaine))))) There is nothing easy about this process, and your feelings are so common.
Remember that nothing you say will even come close to the worst things your L, the judge, and all the other professionals working with you have heard in their careers.
Hang in there, honey.
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
Elaine2012 (original poster member #36099) posted at 11:02 PM on Thursday, April 11th, 2013
Thanks NIK. I appreciate this.
Me- 60 ish
WH-no longer relevant
Divorced - May 22, 2014
Dday - Blindsided July 2012
Married 35 years
4 adult DD's, 3 SIL, 6 grandchildren
dmari ( member #37215) posted at 1:13 AM on Friday, April 12th, 2013
OMG!! I felt the same way Elaine2012!! I had to share some embarrassing details but I had the mind set to be completely transparent during this entire process. It hasn't come back to haunt me ... yet 
The whole divorce process feels very invasive, unfair, and mean. Hang tight Elaine2012!
suckstobeme ( member #30853) posted at 1:48 AM on Friday, April 12th, 2013
I'm a lawyer so I can give you an answer from someone on the other side. I know sometimes the questions that we ask suck to answer. But there usually is a good reason for the question. We ask up front without having much of a relationship or rapport yet because we don't want surprises down the road. If the other side is gonna make accusations or come up with some cockamamie story, we have to know right away.
It's just strategic. We don't ever want to upset or embarrass our clients on purpose. The delivery of the question may not have been overly sensitive, but it's not purposeful. It may just be style. Part of it likely is because your lawyer has heard it all before and nothing is shocking.
I hope that helps bring you a little comfort.
BW - me
ExWH - "that one"
D - 2011
You get what you put in, and people get what they deserve.
Hard as it may be, try to never give the OP any of your power or head space.
Elaine2012 (original poster member #36099) posted at 4:42 AM on Friday, April 12th, 2013
Dmari it is very invasive. Despite any embarassement I'm going to be honest and answer everything truthfully. Truth will never get me into trouble! I just recalled this scripture. You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free. Yup I can't wait for freedom and the chance of a more peaceful and happy life.
Me- 60 ish
WH-no longer relevant
Divorced - May 22, 2014
Dday - Blindsided July 2012
Married 35 years
4 adult DD's, 3 SIL, 6 grandchildren
Elaine2012 (original poster member #36099) posted at 10:11 AM on Friday, April 12th, 2013
Suckstobeme thank you for this information! Knowing that's the reason for her asking helps. It wasn't the way it was asked I just don't like have to explain desisions I've made.
Me- 60 ish
WH-no longer relevant
Divorced - May 22, 2014
Dday - Blindsided July 2012
Married 35 years
4 adult DD's, 3 SIL, 6 grandchildren
Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 5:24 PM on Friday, April 12th, 2013
I've had to tell my lawyer some incredibly disgusting and/or embarassing stuff. It is just part of the process. I'd rather he hear it first from me than hear it in court and not be aware he has to negate it.
Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU
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