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Coraline (original poster member #36434) posted at 5:21 AM on Friday, April 12th, 2013
He came by yesterday, and it made me wish I had had the guts to talk to him long ago. They were STBX's friends, so I had been afraid to talk to him, because I didn't want him to think I was crazy, since I had no proof of the A. He was wondering if there had been one! I had to tell him I thought there had, at one point, but that I was pretty sure it was over now. He said it gave him some closure on the issue, at least, because neither of us ever had proof, just suspicions.
Too bad we never got our heads together when it was active though, or we may have been able to catch them, rather than just always feeling suspicious. I guess that's my fault, for being afraid to talk to him, but for now, he said he has closure and he can move on, so I guess it wasn't a total loss.
Me: BW, 34 Him: WH, 35
3 Kids: 9, 3, and 1
Decree nisi will become absolute in January. We are DONE.
disillusioned12 ( member #37542) posted at 5:45 AM on Friday, April 12th, 2013
At least he also helped confirm your suspicions. Contacting the other BS is a gamble because you don't know how they will react.
BS (Me)
WS (H)
Married 5 yrs; Together 10 yrs
D-Day 11/14/12
EA(PA?)
Limbo 1 month
False R 2 months.
Status: Divorce on hold
Coraline (original poster member #36434) posted at 7:13 AM on Friday, April 12th, 2013
Just one more reason to wish I'd have followed through with a PI, because he couldn't very well have thought I was crazy if I had had proof. I would have talked to him then if I'd had it. Oh well.
Me: BW, 34 Him: WH, 35
3 Kids: 9, 3, and 1
Decree nisi will become absolute in January. We are DONE.
dmari ( member #37215) posted at 8:27 AM on Friday, April 12th, 2013
Coraline, At least you gave OW's BH some closure. The conversation also gave you proof of your suspicions.
Coraline (original poster member #36434) posted at 12:51 AM on Sunday, April 14th, 2013
I've been rolling it over in my mind, and you guys are so right. All those months of knowing, but not knowing. That is crazy-making. That was closure for ME, too! Now *I* can also let it go and move on!
Me: BW, 34 Him: WH, 35
3 Kids: 9, 3, and 1
Decree nisi will become absolute in January. We are DONE.
disillusioned12 ( member #37542) posted at 2:41 AM on Sunday, April 14th, 2013
All those months of knowing, but not knowing. That is crazy-making.
This is where I am at. I know the EA was & is a PA, but I don't know. It is frustrating. The MOW's H is rug sweeping like crazy and we both agreed to NC going forward. I'm pretty sure things are going to blow up once my STBXH returns from training.
BS (Me)
WS (H)
Married 5 yrs; Together 10 yrs
D-Day 11/14/12
EA(PA?)
Limbo 1 month
False R 2 months.
Status: Divorce on hold
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