Their baby was born in Sept and they are happily househunting. He finally left 4/03.
((((and strength ))))
[This message edited by Zamas at 11:47 AM, April 12th (Friday)]
I'm so sorry for your situation. I did a lot of reading here on SI before I ever posted and I suppose that did prepare me a little for the TT and the lies that follow D-Day. The pain and anger are EPIC!
Stay here and know that these wise people will continue to support you and never judge. We all want, more than anything, to spare you any more pain and misery.
The OW is pregnant, this alone is so much to process (((Zamas))). What is the status of things with your H now? Are you in a place where you can tell us more about what is going on in your situation?
We are all here for your support and to help you get to the other side of this.
If you have children together, it's time to lay down some ground rules. He has to be dad to his other kids.
Of course you are spinning. Once again you are back at the beginning, when a new reality is being presented to you when you already thought you knew what reality was.
It hurts that your H chose to lie to you rather than be honest that he was still seeing the OW. That after all the pain he saw you in he could still be so cruel not only hard to understand, it is hard to stomach.
I have been where you are a lot of us have.
I hope you are seeing a IC. You need to regain some of the control of your situation by seeing an attorney. Don't get blindsided financially if you can help it.
Empower yourself rather than just wait to be at your H's whim. He has already proven to you that he does not care about your or your family's feelings or well being. And I am so sorry for that.
You need to care about you and seeing an attorney will give you some control over your future.
After all I have been through with my H I do not believe love is blind.
Real love is very clearly sighted. It sees all the flaws, all the imperfections and still loves despite those things. The fault in love is the trust.
When we love someone we trust they will love us back with the same tenderness and concern for our feelings that we give them, and we BS's know all too well that that is not always the case.
You love your H so much you gave him more trust than he has earned and it is time to stop.
I think what you should do next is focus on you. Focus on your health, your sanity, your family and your options.
Take you time and think going over all the good and all the very very bad. SO you are no longer trusting blindly.
My heart aches for you. Try to stay strong.
You are not alone. And you and your children matter. Praying for healing. One day at a time.
This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man, ~ Shakespeare
It's war now. He is NOT your friend, he will NOT do the right thing financially for you and your kids. He is NOT a stand-up guy.
Get thee to a lawyer right now.
[This message edited by Zamas at 1:02 PM, April 12th (Friday)]
"They cling to their bad choices out of shame, because it is far easier to continue to destroy yourself than to do the heavy work required to fix yourself." - a wiser SIer
"If only I can fight just a little longer, I know it's gonna make me stronger" Jamie Grace-Holding on.
I really feel for you in this terrible situation and it's not surprising you are in shock. All I can say is put yourself and your children first in all decisions you make right now. They are your focus. He has made his decisions and he will have to live with them. Personally, I think in time they will haunt him.
Keep posting and venting and getting support here. It helps.
There's always light at the end of the tunnel, just pray it's not a train.
He's like a Jerry Springer episode. Now in his life, there are 7 kids, 2 moms, and 3 dads. What a fucking winner. Either she is his soul mate and it's fate, or he is in a crazy spiral downwards and has no idea what he wants.
[This message edited by Zamas at 7:13 PM, April 12th (Friday)]