Topic: One Night Stand
Member # 38900
| Posted: 5:06 PM, April 12th (Friday), 2013|
Tell me, is a one night stand forgivable? Is it considered a true cheat? I'm a little confused? Does one leave a relationship cause of a one night stand? I know, different situations, different opinions. But generally speaking, is a one night stand forgivable? I truly need help.
HIM - 56(looks older by the day)
his time has come
ME - 56 (heart aged lately)
DD1 April 5 2013 (he made that one up)
DD2 April 23 2013
DD3 June 8 2013
DD4 June 22 2013
1 grand child
Posts: 194 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Near the ocean ... Canada
Member # 36711
| Posted: 5:31 PM, April 12th (Friday), 2013|
Yes, it's cheating. Forgivable? Totally depends on you and how your reconciliation goes. Transparency, remorse...it all depends.
There is a thread in the I can Relate Forum about One Night Stands where other's share their experiences.
D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.
Posts: 1292 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Sunny Florida
Member # 18429
| Posted: 6:39 PM, April 12th (Friday), 2013|
A one night stand is no different than a long term affair. There are lies, there is the actual infidelity, there is broken promises and loss of trust, there is the loss of faithfulness in a relationship. A ONS is just as much cause for leaving as any other infidelity, and just as forgivable as any other infidelity.
My H had 3 ONS's with 3 different women, and a 4th woman he had 4 "ONS's" with over an 18 month period (like, no dating, no relationship, just a booty call every few months). In my eyes, I'm disgusted that my H could treat another human being like that, use them up and throw them away like trash. That's NOT the man I married. But I was able to forgive him for that. And I know others here have forgiven their spouses for the same type of thing, and many have forgiven their spouses for different things.
DDay - Dec '07
Me - BS
Him - FWS
Us - Committed
May 18, 2010 - I forgave him fully!
"Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction." Isaiah 48:10
Posts: 3859 | Registered: Feb 2008
Member # 36072
| Posted: 10:07 PM, April 12th (Friday), 2013|
A ONS is absolutely cheating. Whether or not you can forgive it is up to you. Give yourself some time, you do not have to decide right away.
One should rather die than be betrayed. There is no deceit in death. It delivers precisely what it has promised. Betrayal, though ... betrayal is the willful slaughter of hope. ~Steven Deitz
Posts: 1116 | Registered: Jul 2012
Member # 29341
| Posted: 1:18 AM, April 15th (Monday), 2013|
The thing about a ONS is that if the cheater does not address the issue of WHY he did it, you are likely to suffer through further infidelities. It IS forgivible - if the WS is remorseful and willing to change.
We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.
Posts: 6671 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
Member # 38134
| Posted: 1:44 AM, April 15th (Monday), 2013|
my WH had a ONS... and I am 3 months out from DDay. Still have not forgiven him. He is remorseful but I can't forgive - just yet.
Whether ONS, LTA, EA - they are all the same. They cause you unimaginable pain.
Maybe one day I can forgive...
Me-BW 46 yo;Him - WH 53 yo
One daughter together 9yo, 2 stepchildren(His from previous marriage)
Various DDdays (see my profile)
ONS and multiple "friendships" with women in various online dating sites
Posts: 131 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: New Zealand
Member # 34915
| Posted: 11:52 AM, April 15th (Monday), 2013|
The answer is YES !! a one night stand is the same like a 100 night stands .It hurts the same and it takes as much time to heal from it as well .My WH had a one night stand and it wasn't an easy ride to R but am over it now .
OW: a monster that I called friend before
You made a fool out of me and she made a fool out of you
Posts: 141 | Registered: Feb 2012
|Topic Posts: 7|