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User Topic: My turn with a difficult coworker
Sad in AZ
♀ Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 11:18 AM, April 13th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't want to go into detail because there's just too much, but I've been dealing with a very negative coworker since I took this position in Houston last September. She's a diva and very paranoid.

I've tried to be positive, and I can usually just politely ignore her, but for the last couple of months we've had to work closely on a very big event that's happening in early May. In the past couple of weeks she has circumvented everything that I've worked on and has caused delays and confusion. She has either miscommunicated or not communicated information that I needed. The least of the problems is that she's taken credit for every one of my ideas. I can live with that; I'm not looking for glory, as it 's her event-I'm the assistant.

The event is not working out well; it's a combination of poor planning, a bad prior reputation (which she may or may not have participated in-it was before my time here) and intrusion by our boss' boss into the planning process. It's a mess.

She's passive agressive and nonconfrontational, so rather than openly discuss any issues, she has complained to our direct boss. (We do not have a manager in our office; he is in another city.) I was given the heads-up by our other coworker. We received a cryptic email late on Friday afternoon that our boss and the person who is essentially in charge of personnel are coming to visit our office on Tuesday. He specifically mentioned that he and the MCO want to have a meeting with me. FML

So, I'm spending my weekend getting my ducks in a row. I've decided that my best defense is a good offense, so I've informed my boss and the MCO that I'm glad they are coming next week, as I'm about to initiate a grievance against this coworker, and I hope we can avoid this by our discussion.

This is the part I'm unsure of: I also plan to talk to this coworker on Monday, stating that I've been advised that she's complained to the boss and I want to know what she's complained about. I'm also going to give her a chance to recant.

I'm pretty sure I can cause havoc for our office and the bosses office. This location should have been closed last year when my former office closed. There is no reason for it to be open--there is literally no work, except for this event, which happens once a year. I sat on my hands for four months because my coworkers were doing my job because they had nothing to do. My only salvation was that I knew I'd be involved in another project for another office in early March, so I had that to look forward to.

I don't plan to act on the 'scorched earth' campaign unless this turns into a witch hunt. I could use some advice and good wishes.


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20272 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
Crescita
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Member # 32616
Default  Posted: 11:34 AM, April 13th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ugh, no advice but mojo headed your way.

Posts: 3441 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: The Valley of the Sun
inconnu
♀ Member
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 11:34 AM, April 13th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have no good advice for you but I'll send plenty of mojo and good thoughts.

It must be the week for difficult coworkers. I found out my P/A coworker has been complaining to the warehouse guys about me and the other woman in the office. Apparently drama llama does all the work, and we do absolutely nothing to help her. Never mind that I switched positions this week, and I've been doing my old job while trying to learn the new one. Yep, I do nothing.


Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect


Posts: 12164 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: TX
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 11:37 AM, April 13th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ugh, good luck!


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17485 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
inconnu
♀ Member
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 11:41 AM, April 13th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect


Posts: 12164 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: TX
bbee
♀ Member
Member # 17840
Default  Posted: 1:00 PM, April 13th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bleah. Good luck.


This above all: to thine ownself be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Hamlet, Act I, Scene 3

Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.

All's Well That Ends Well, Act I, Scene 1


Posts: 6655 | Registered: Jan 2008 | From: SE US
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 2:15 PM, April 13th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oy. I HATE this kind of crap with a passion. Tons of good wishes heading your way.


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25687 | Registered: Aug 2011
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 3:52 PM, April 13th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No advice that you don't already know and are doing. Get your ducks in a row..

Sending Mojo and saying prayers.

Hugs, too.

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5254 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
authenticnow
♀ Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 4:27 PM, April 13th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No advice, either.

I've decided that my best defense is a good offense, so I've informed my boss and the MCO that I'm glad they are coming next week, as I'm about to initiate a grievance against this coworker, and I hope we can avoid this by our discussion.
I think this is brilliant.

Sending hugs and lots of good thoughts.


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 37975 | Registered: Sep 2007
tesla
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Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 4:33 PM, April 13th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wanted to send you some mojo!

FWIW, I think going on the offense in this situation is the right course. I don't think you are going to get a straight/honest answer from your coworker but she'll be on notice.

Good luck!


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4683 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Jpapageorge
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Member # 31800
Default  Posted: 11:17 PM, April 13th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would avoid a Monday discussion with the Drama Llama since you are meeting with your boss and the HR person on Tuesday. You are right, in my opinion, to go on offense with the higher ups but talking to a paranoid, P/A diva has too many possible pitfalls to be helpful.

Good luck/bon chance.


"Either get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." (and I prefer to live)
"Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed."
Spectemur agendo.
Me: FBBF

Posts: 1751 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From: California
GabyBaby
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Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 12:53 AM, April 14th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with Jpapa.
Don't "tip your hand" with the diva. She's already been back-stabbing and bad mouthing you. Damage has already been done.

Go straight to the higher-ups with your information. Any written emails/data that can show her antics will only help you in the end.

Sending LOTS of mojo your way!


Me - 42
SorryInSac (WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - Stick a fork in me...

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6520 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
kernel
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Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 9:04 AM, April 14th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with Jpapa andGaby. I don't think you should give her a heads-up. Wait to see what the higher-ups have to say and then you'll know how to react. You don't want to jump the gun. Maybe they want to talk to you to find out the truth because they have dealt with her shit before. I know, pollyanna, but that's who I am. You're prepared for whichever way it goes. Good luck!


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5243 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
gahurts
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Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 8:06 PM, April 14th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good Luck. Hope it goes well Tuesday.


"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie


Posts: 3432 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
thebighurt
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Member # 34722
Default  Posted: 11:27 AM, April 15th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just reading this now. Hope all goes/went well for you. My advice would have needed to be in place long ago and perhaps was. Put any ideas you have in an email to her and the boss. That way she cannot claim they are hers. As was suggested, keep any communications with her.

Since it is *her* project and may not be going well, then I guess *she* will be the one it lands on because she has laid claim to all your ideas. Perhaps if this office were to close, she would not be offered a xfer.

Mojo, Mojo, MOJO.


Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 2380 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
Sad in AZ
♀ Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 5:45 PM, April 15th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Today the boss asked me to reserve an outside conference room (we have our own!) We work in a concierge suite. He wants to pay for another room-WTF? They want to meet with each of us privately--all 3 of us, not just the PITA & me.

I can't wait for tomorrow to be over.


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20272 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
Amazonia
♀ Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 6:05 PM, April 15th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending you positive energy for tomorrow, and calm for tonight.

((Sad))


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13787 | Registered: Jul 2011
Skan
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Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 6:45 PM, April 15th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Loads of Mojo for tomorrow. Walk in there with all of your documentation and fire both barrels.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4915 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
KVille
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Member # 29071
Default  Posted: 6:56 PM, April 15th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In my job if I had been asked to reserve a room I would feel better. They would not ask you to do this if you were in trouble....even if booking places is your usual job


never ever getting back together

Posts: 167 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: North Carolina
authenticnow
♀ Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 6:59 PM, April 15th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending lots of good thoughts for tomorrow!


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 37975 | Registered: Sep 2007
Topic Posts: 35
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