For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning. - T.S. Eliot
True Neutral Human Bard (4th Level)
I wanted to be something amazing like a wizard or sorcerer. And why am I 4th level???
Well, if we break it down by editions, Bards are pretty awesome unless it's a computer game version, where they're completely stupid and only fun when they have dialogue so you can torture them.
In 3E, Bards are their own class and have fighting skills similar to a rogue without all the fuck-you rogue moves, like hitting someone in the kidney for ten more dice of damage or laughing at their pants and making them lose a turn crying. OTOH, 3E Bards get Sorcerer spells (I think it's Sorc) and they can use music to magical effects that are like ongoing bonuses. Also, starting at level 1 all Bards have the ability to instantly be completely clean and their hair perfect, unless they look better otherwise.
2E Bards are a little lamer, because they're basically rogues that trade the option to be an unrelenting murderous asskicker for a guitar and cooking skills. They're not absolutely terrible but unless you enjoy roleplaying, a 2E Bard is kind of like playing the orc on the NPC side. If there are going to be casualties, they will include or just BE you.
1E Bards are bullshit. You're basically a level 9 Fighter who changes class to about 3 other things like Magic User and Thief and Powergaming Fuckhead and then suddenly you have more abilities than a demigod and the only thing you really have to worry about is the irritated DM dumping your ass in Planescape and getting pwnt by the Lady of Pain. That's a level 1 Bard, nobody bothers to play it past 2 or 3 so I have no idea how godlike a level 4 1E Bard is, you can probably urinate dragons - whole dragons that are angry at whatever you're pissing on - and when you blink, continents fold up and surrender or something I dunno.
As an example, this guy is getting pissed on by a 1E Bard:
[This message edited by StillGoing at 7:47 PM, April 19th (Friday)]
Lawful Good- A lawful good character acts as a good person is expected or required to act. He combines a commitment to oppose evil with the discipline to fight relentlessly. He tells the truth, keeps his word, helps those in need, and speaks out against injustice. A lawful good character hates to see the guilty go unpunished. Lawful good is the best alignment you can be because it combines honor and compassion. However, lawful good can be a dangerous alignment when it restricts freedom and criminalizes self-interest.
Humans are the most adaptable of the common races. Short generations and a penchant for migration and conquest have made them physically diverse as well. Humans are often unorthodox in their dress, sporting unusual hairstyles, fanciful clothes, tattoos, and the like.
Fighters- Fighters can be many things, from soldiers to criminal enforcers. Some see adventure as a way to get rich, while others use their skills to protect the innocent. Fighters have the best all-around fighting capabilities of the PC classes, and they are trained to use all standard weapons and armor. A fighter's rigorous martial training grants him many bonus feats as he progresses, and high-level fighters have access to special melee maneuvers and exotic weapons not available to any other character.
I guess ... Pretty cool
[This message edited by booger bear at 8:52 PM, April 19th (Friday)]
I know that I am Lawful - good ...
I'm a Human - good ... Although vampires are HAWT !!! I could be ok with that !!! (NOT the Twilight kiddies either. FAR better Vamp books out there than those preschool ones)
I'm a Fighter - good ... and so far the only one ... so either I am a badass or I'm gonna get my ass kicked ...
Either way I'm still just as lost as Elf Ama ...
[This message edited by booger bear at 9:12 PM, April 19th (Friday)]
BB, welcome. I'm half fighter but LG also. I'm a little worried about the pants thing tho. What's the local decency code Jrazz? Gotta follow the law and all that!
[This message edited by 5454real at 9:26 PM, April 19th (Friday)]
(It's our polite way of saying that lowers are required. )
ETA- Welcome to the LG kingdom, boogerbear!!!
[This message edited by Jrazz at 9:44 PM, April 19th (Friday)]
Especially the Cleric. Really needed a Cleric in our party.
Do not back up. Severe tire damage.
1. a talking codpiece
2. a magically-rigged detonation device on said codpiece
3. the motives of a thief who would unabashedly steal said talking explosive codpiece
StillGoing is our Director Of Keeping Things Interesting.
It's ok, I'm sure you'll have a lovely time with your Evil Neutral Chaotic whatsahoosits.
A long time ago in West Massachusetts,
Lived KBeguile and his best Whatsahoosits.
There were Lawful Whatsahoosits, and Whatsahoosits of Good
(That's a Whatsahoosit what does what Whatsahoosits well should!).
But, sadly, even Whatsahoosits can wander astray,
As several Whatsahoosits did just that one fine day!
You see, Jrazz, who was being quite ruthless,
Opened K's Cage of clueless Whatsahoosits.
They bounced off the floor, the walls, and the door,
And off of each other, and then what was more,
Some Whatsahoosits fell into a box
That had grapes on the side and a spigot on top!
When the woolly Whatsahoosits whittled all wine away,
They were more wasted than aesir (who had been there that day).
At first, they turned Evil, and then they turned Neutral,
But when came Chaotic, they had borne something brutal:
Whatsahoosits united, consorted, divided, escaped!
They bumbled and tumbled all over the place.
They tripped all the people who went back for their glasses
And slurped up the liquor while people fell on their asses.
K looked at Jrazz, who laughed with a shrug,
As she lifted and finished the contents of her mug.
So, when you're drunk and get knocked from your stool,
And your once mug of alcohol turns to a pool,
ENC Whatsahoosits slurping and burping like sots?
Just remember: Whatsahoosits are Jrazz's fault.