This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man, ~ Shakespeare
It's totally understandable.
I'm 5 months out and there were many times I'd eat just a couple times/week! Just within the last couple weeks, my appetite has started coming back. Even then, I can't even eat a full meal. It sucks. That's only my experience, but I do know many of us BS's went through the same thing.
Hang in there!
Just take things in baby steps right now and don't push yourself. If anything sounds appealing at all, just go for it. I found that I'd be emotionally exhausted around 2am and finally hungry, so I had 2am grilled cheese and soup during my reintroduction to food.
Water is key right now. It wouldn't hurt to talk to your doctor about this. At some point anti-depressants may help you get back to some kind of balance.
I seem to recall that fruit was one of the first things that appealed to me too. Just an idea.
Hang in there. Sending hugs and strength.
For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning. - T.S. Eliot
[This message edited by burnedcanuckEMS at 6:35 PM, April 14th (Sunday)]
"And this above all else, to thine own self be true"
Perhaps that helps. Eating would calm me down. It allowed the anxiety to subside a bit. Without food it's a guarantee that you are going to feel worse. You are in survival mode. You ARE surviving and you WILL be fine. Cheeseburgers are my therapy
"I can fill the flask up, but can't get past us
I'm in the storm, staying strong, but can't get back up"
Hang on in there. Someone said to me recently
"Remember, your life can only get better from this point and you will be happy again whereas your WS can only get unhappier, especially when they eventually realise the devastation they've caused."
I am starting to realise that my marriage, as I knew it, is OVER. Even if you reconcile, your old marriage is OVER.
There's always light at the end of the tunnel, just pray it's not a train.
The advice to stay hydrated and eat and exercize is the best.
See your doctor if needed for a little help in anti-anxiety meds...my internest gave me Lexipro and it helped.
i waited 6 weeks between D-day and confrontation with my wayward wife. During that 6 weeks and many months,i also couldnt sleep, did fall sleep from exhaustion but woke up at about 2:00am and that was it.
I dropped 35# on the infidelity diet in 5 weeks. and also ended up in the hospital for 2 days with severe chest pains and inability to breathe. i thought i was having a heart attack.
Believe me is does get better but it will take time.
Look for a good therapist. YOu cant do this right alone.
The one we had saw me in IC and my wayward wife in IC sessions and we saw her in couples sessions. She helped my waywayd wife own her shit but it took a long time for that to happen I am one yr out since confrontation day..and i can say its finally getting better.
Read books..Not just Friends by Shirley Glass is one of the best. Go to amazon to buy, Go to the healing library here in SI
I am sooo sorry for your hurts and pain ..you did not deserve this... i am sending you hugs and strength to get thru this..
it will take time and it takes time for your wayward to come out of the fog.
your marriage as you knew it is over....forever, he changed that by his decision and his own weakness in not knowing how to address with you whatever marital issue he had.
It does get better...and your marriage can become better than you had previously...please believe that...but it takes time and a lot of hard work by both of you.
I wish you the best in whatever decision you make...its important at this time not to make any major decisions.
me: 58 Faithful spouse
her: 57 WW
married 25 yrs
daughter- 23 yrs old
LTA (PA & EA) 7 yrs with former boss.
D day march 2-12
confrontation day april 2012
TT and continued contact until July 2012
today...can finally say were well into R
[This message edited by hurtsobadinside at 5:55 AM, April 15th (Monday)]
It was easier for me to "drink" than to eat.
Try liquids. Soup, milkshakes, and especially those nutritional shakes if you can stand them.
It was easier for me to "drink" than to eat.
The loss of appetite lasted about a month for me. Then it was off and on depending on when I got TT or went on a dip. I lived off protein powder shakes for the 1st 2 weeks. I had no desire to eat but I could force myself to drink the shakes.
Excercising helps as well even if it's just walking. If it gets to bad go see your Doctor. I wish you the best.
If you are finding you cant get any food down then get yourself some ensure or protein shakes. This will get some important calories in you.
If you can't do that, then you probably would benefit with some antianxiety meds. This will make it easier to eat. A trick that is frequently used in medicine, for those under stress, and weight loss that is unhealthy.
I too lost, a total of 40 pounds. Was able to keep it off for about 1 1/2 years, then I got happy, and it all came back.
in additin to what you said on integrity...
i would like to leave you with the following which is soo very appropriate for us faithful spouses
"There is no better test of a person's integrity than their behavior when they are wrong".
sending hugs and strength to you