So for me coping isn’t a step by step process it is an action of being available and present for ourselves and those around us
I agree. I have discovered that you can't control your thoughts, but you can control your reactions to the thoughts. Being patient, compassionate, and mindful are the keys to coping with emotional suffering, especially anger.
I found the following book to be very helpful:
The Joy of Living: Unlocking the Secret and Science of Happiness by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche