But I confronted him first...I went off...yelling..sobbing...so sure he had started cheating on me in 2008..not 2010.
This time he was calm(usually he gets angry or defensive),and calmly told me what the charges were. After I calmed down,I realized he was right. I apologized...and he told me it was ok..that had he not destroyed my trust,we wouldn't be where we are now.
Shit happens. Apologize...but don't allow this mistake to set the tone for R. your WH still cheated..that must be dealt with. Once in awhile you might come across something that looks suspicious...and you have every right to ask him about it. And he needs to accept this as a consequence of his actions.
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
This time he was calm(usually he gets angry or defensive),and calmly told me what the charges were
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
Don't beat yourself up. It's hard to stop checking once you've found out about the cheating.
Settle in, it is something we go through for a while....
and it's nothing short of true crazy-making.
But don't feel bad, you have been through a trauma and it's part of the process.