This Topic is Archived
CharlieFoxtrot (original poster member #38010) posted at 12:12 AM on Wednesday, April 17th, 2013
The kids are away with *the king* this week, and I came across this wrinkled sheet of paper halfway under my bed. It looked like trash, and I almost threw it away!! It read:
"REMEMBER: Trust is like paper. Once it's CRUMPLED it can't ever be perfect again! I (heart) U Mom
Don't be sad when we're gone. Dad is just trying to repair everything that he broke, and being kind of irresponsible! 
(not good)
You are being responsible and being a good example! 
(which is AMAZING!)
DON'T LET HIM BRING YOU DOWN
I (heart) U I (heart) U"
uh, wow. I thought I was trying to man up and be the tough guy here. Now I'm bawling at her insight (I have tried to only validate her feelings and questions, keeping things simple but honest) and I don't know what to make of it...
Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.
GabyBaby ( member #26928) posted at 12:20 AM on Wednesday, April 17th, 2013
Holy wow, what an awesome kid.
YOu should be VERY proud.
Me - late 40s
DD(27), DS(24, PDD-NOS)
WH#2 (SorryinSac)- Killed himself (May 2015) in our home 6 days after being served divorce docs.
XWH #1 - legally married 18yrs. 12+ OW (that I know of).
I edit often for clarity/typos.
Tearsoflove ( member #8271) posted at 12:48 AM on Wednesday, April 17th, 2013
Awww, how sweet. I'd have cried.
"Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand." ~Homer Simpson
Compartmented ( member #29410) posted at 12:53 AM on Wednesday, April 17th, 2013
I love that! I'd have cried, too. Lovely that she does have such insight and that she's expressing support and love for you!!!
gma56 ( member #19595) posted at 12:55 AM on Wednesday, April 17th, 2013
Be VERY proud Mom ! She gets it and understands what is going on.I don't know how old she is but she sounds very mature in her reasoning and thinking.
Good job,Mom.
Gma
BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.
Kajem ( member #36134) posted at 1:15 AM on Wednesday, April 17th, 2013
I love it when the kids get it.. heck some of them probably get it better than we do.
You've done good mama.
Hugs,
K
I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - UnknownRelationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.
Happydays ( member #38681) posted at 2:30 AM on Wednesday, April 17th, 2013
Awwww, so sweet. Great kid!
BH 33
FWW 32
DS: 3 year old.
Dday 10/14/2012
No remorse so:
Divorced 02/15/2013. No alimony, no CS, got apartment. Won all battles and mind games off the courts.
caregiver9000 ( member #28622) posted at 2:54 AM on Wednesday, April 17th, 2013
Awesome! That is a keeper for sure.
Great job mom. She really gets it and is showing empathy for how she imagines YOU feel. So mature!!
Me: fortysomething, independent, happy,
XH "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
two kids, teens. Old enough I am truly NO CONTACT w/ NPD zebraduck
S 5/2010
D 12/2012
fallingquickly ( member #36599) posted at 2:55 AM on Wednesday, April 17th, 2013
Wow! You've done a great job raising her. You must be so proud of her.
Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going. (Criminal Minds)
I saw him, I could not unsee him. -StrongButBroken
There came a point when it was too painful to love him, so I stopped.
dmari ( member #37215) posted at 4:47 AM on Wednesday, April 17th, 2013
That letter is a priceless treasure. I want to give your DD a hug!
FlySomeday ( member #35150) posted at 4:51 AM on Wednesday, April 17th, 2013
*sigh* and know you have done good in spite of your hell.
GreatRoleModel ( member #36809) posted at 4:54 AM on Wednesday, April 17th, 2013
That is amazing and you should be so proud of her. WAY TO GO MOM!!!
BS (me)
XNPDWS
It takes a village to deal with the village idiot!
“If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane.”
― Robert Frost
CharlieFoxtrot (original poster member #38010) posted at 5:48 AM on Wednesday, April 17th, 2013
My heart melted. She is barely 13. Her intuition and common sense astounded me... and made me glad to be the day-to-day, do your homework, clean your room, help your brother, tell me what's on your mind, poopy dirty parent. 
heck some of them probably get it better than we do.
Exactly!
Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.
fraeuken ( member #30742) posted at 6:05 AM on Wednesday, April 17th, 2013
So wonderful. Congrats on a great young woman you raised.
Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.
woundedby2 ( member #18522) posted at 6:24 AM on Wednesday, April 17th, 2013
How wonderful!
In 2010 I divorced the NPD assclown who cheated on me with my best friend.
Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson
gonnabe2016 ( member #34823) posted at 6:55 AM on Wednesday, April 17th, 2013
What a sweet girl you have, CFT.
But why was the letter crumpled up under(ish) your bed?
"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
Bluebird26 ( member #36445) posted at 10:52 AM on Wednesday, April 17th, 2013
Wow what a great kid. Good job Mom!
Me: BW
Best thing I gained in my divorce - my freedom.
Life's good.
k94ever ( member #11176) posted at 4:16 PM on Wednesday, April 17th, 2013
You've done well young Jedi......
Save that letter. When things get shitty when she turns 16 and aliens abduct her body take it out during the bad times and read it.
You're raising an amazing person.
{{{hugs}}}
k9
BS:61
WS: 53
Betrayed: 24 years
Affairs: 15 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.
ajsmom ( member #17460) posted at 4:20 PM on Wednesday, April 17th, 2013
Wow.
She's an outstanding young woman.
She deserves a Justice shopping date!
Seriously, you done good here, CFT. Very well done, indeed!
ETA: Double snort at * The King *
AJ's MOM
[This message edited by ajsmom at 10:21 AM, April 17th (Wednesday)]
Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.
"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
One AMAZING DS - 34
Dadtryingtocope ( member #36726) posted at 4:21 PM on Wednesday, April 17th, 2013
Save that letter for sure.
I'm choked up reading your post.
BH me 47
WW her 39
DDay 8-17-12
2 kids (13, 10)
Filed for D 9/14/12
Divorced 4/17/13
She - engaged 5/13 married 9/13
This Topic is Archived
