SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

This has been a big problem for me since the beginning. I even have proof of him doing this, as in pictures of my son's texts with STBX, such as, "Ask mom..." "Tell mom..." And texts on my phone from my son of the same, questions from my STBX, such as, "Dad wants to know..."

Before there was a set schedule, he would just text my son out of the blue that he is on his way and to let me know.

I was supposed to get the kids back at 6 p.m. tonight. At 4:45, I get a call from my son asking if he can stay later. I tell him (as I've told him and STBX a hundred times) that he cannot be the one to ask me about schedule changes. He tries to hand the phone to STBX, who I hear say, "I'm not talking to her," and the phone goes dead.

Then I get about 50 texts from my STBX, calling me every curse word in the book. I tell him firmly to "STOP sending messages through our son."

He keeps saying, "We will be late tonight."

I continually tell him, "No you won't. See you at 6."

Honestly, if STBX had just texted me and asked politely to keep them a little late, maybe I would have said yes, but I can't seem to get it through his head that the rules clearly state NO MESSAGES THROUGH THE CHILDREN.

Am I being unreasonable here? Though I'm 99% positive STBX told him to ask me (which my son says he did), there was one time my son asked me to stay the night at MIL's house, and she wasn't even able to do that.. This is why kids shouldn't be in the middle or trusted with messages!

After telling him I contacted my attorney and he is violating orders, he did bring meet me on time for the exchange. When we got home, I was telling my son how much I love and missed him, and he says, "Dad says the opposite of what you are saying. He says you're evil and you don't love me or you would have let me stay with him."

It's like he just set me up to look bad. I hate to have all this drama over a couple hours, but I'm so sick of him putting the kids in the middle and then looking like the bad guy..

Please say some prayers that my new attorney can somehow perform a miracle here..

Definitely mention this to your attorney, and document. Your stbx is doing what's called parental alienation - deliberately making the other parent look bad to the children.

((ButterflyGirl))

Prayers going out for your new attorney to get it thru to him to contact you. Really if he can send a text to your kid, why can't he just send it to you?

I know in my situation, NW will not allow XH to have any contact with me - without her being present...

Hugs,

K

Buy or download "Divorce Poison" ASAP and start reading. Also, get your son to a counselor ASAP.

Early after d'day, I had to deal with stbx doing the same thing. My son had told me he didn't want to be the in between person/messenger and I reassured him I would talk to stbx about it. After I told stbx what DS said, he of course, blamed it on me. whatever. He blamed me for our son not remembering his schedule. Stbx must have forgotten that our son has cognitive issues ~ a big one being short term memory. DUH?!?! fucking idiot.

In the end, DS has stopped all visitation and communication. My children are older than yours but you may have ask DS therapist how to empower your DS when dad makes him the messenger. For example, what to say/do when dad texts.

Other than that, document. It is so obvious that making a child a messenger is NOT in the best interest of the child.