He joined SI, made one post and has never come back (he is Strydr) Totally makes me feel like he did it just because I suggested it. He's not in a fog, he's remorseful, he's also in IC.
Idk, I'm just tired of being the one that initiates every conversation we have. I'm hurting, it's obvious I'm closed off. Just one initiated conversation from him would mean the world to me. I think it would allow me to feel safe to open up. He just says "I love you" and then sighs....
Regarding SI, it's just not for everyone and that's ok.
Regarding the fact that your WH is not putting forth effort to be more communicative is unfortunate. Sometimes we have to ask for what we need, but he has to come meet you in the middle.
The 5 Love Languages book might be helpful here. Have you actually told him in specific words that you need him to initiate? Sometimes you have to lay the foundation. If you have to police after THAT, then something's not right.
For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning. - T.S. Eliot
I know he can't fix his communication issues over night, just feels like I'm always the one pushing and I'm emotionally drained right now. I just want to be selfish and be taken care of for once.
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Idk, I'm just tired of being the one that initiates every conversation we have.
I don't know how it was for you guys, but Wh was a terrible communicator before this all happened. It was part of what got us into a mess. So, it's kind of unrealistic for me to expect him to suddenly be fabulous at it now.
The thing is, they have to at least TRY. At this point, if I am acting funny, Wh will usually ask if i need to talk or if i'm thinking about "it". And then we'll go talk, but I have to bring up the specific issues. This is fine with me. As long as in the end he talks to me.
He has only completely initiated once. He came up to me one time when I was not upset and told me it was time for a "trauma talk". It was great, but I don't expect it all the time.
This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man, ~ Shakespeare
We are completely stuck. If he doesn't tell me the truth we are not going anywhere and also I feel like he is underestimating my intelligence by believing that I will forgive him with a stupid excuse and lies.
I could have written both your posts. Am in exactly the same situation. Am feeling very discouraged.