i agree with all the posters. if they want to cheat, they will...and there is NOTHING that can be done to stop it. yes, i have full transparency...and he is doing "all he can" to rebuild trust...but the bottom line is that he is clever...cunning, and a liar...he showed me already what he is capable of....sooooo, if he wanted to fool me again....he would find a way.
also, i have learned the hard way that these AFFAIR PARTNERS WILL LIE FOR THEM TOO. so...even if you did check....and found something..and tried to follow up...the ow might lie too.
so really, there is no safety...none.
my husband's ow lied when i confronted her...and they both worked together to keep the affair from me...pretending that it was a platonic relationship. ouch.
one thing that does help me is knowing that eventually if he was cheating...it would come out in the open. they always get caught...eventually. and he knows that i am gone if that happens again. no more "chances." it would be over.
funny thing is that sometimes on a bad day, i secretly wish i would find something so that i can move on with my life and end this madness.