Is he being remorseful, and transparent? Does he get aggravated when you ask questions? If so then he doesnt get it yet. The next time he tells you he has answered your questions already tell him you get to ask questions as many times as you need to help you understand and heal. If he doesn't like it then he doesn't get it.
There is nothing wrong with taking a break from it, so that you can feel normal again. For many an A is a dealbreaker, and whatever decisions you make are not wrong. Perhaps booting him out the door for a bit, will help him see the devastation he has caused. For many Waywards this can be the fog clearing Ah Ha moment.
No one is saying it has to be permanent, but you don't need to be disrespected any further, and if you need time to yourself that is ok.
He also said I need to stop asking him the same questions over and over again...
He does not get to choose how you heal. You deserve to know what happened in your own life, DAMMIT! Even if you ask the same questions over and over for years he needs to get used to it. He brought this on!
Just like you get to get used to the fact that your husband had a girlfriend!HELLO!
I have been angry and mad, but now I'm just scared and hurt. I'm triggering at the moment, he has gone to the pub for a few drinks on his own, this was what he used to tell me he was doing when he was meeting her
WHAAAT?! Is he out of his ever-lovin' mind?!? This is not even remotely remorseful.
The problem is he has to get it by himself. You telling him he shouldnt have gone out doesnt change what is NOT happening in his brain.
please 180 him hard for your own protection.
Kick this guy to the curb! GAH!
RSEB is right, he has to get this on his own. You cannot tell him how to act, you cannot love him into being the man he needs to be. That is up to him, alone.
He is showing you who he really is, Believe Him.
If he does not get it soon, you may have to begin to detach to protect your heart. Let him see what he is missing. It may be time for the '180' baby!
Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.