Oh man. So sorry you had to read that!
I will write mine too and get it out of my head altho it is nothing like Guac!
They were emailing back/forth about this tacky hawaiian shirt he was wearing.
Ow: Fuk you and your shirt! hahaha
He wrote: Don't you mean, *in* my shirt?!
ugh. Made me want to vomit. I bought it for him bc he wanted a fun - Don Ho type shirt. He doesn't know it yet but when he goes to pull it out of the closet this summer it has a few...rips in it (I took scissors to it). Have to say, I really did a number on it.