Topic: So scared. Help!
♂ New Member
Member # 38930
| Posted: 12:28 PM, April 19th (Friday), 2013|
Leaving for the weekend with daughter (4). Leaving WW at home with son (2) and OM live across the street. It was an EA via text. And both have agreed to me that they will cease all contact. Both of us do need time apart because it has been hell for the past 2 weeks. (Dday2- 4/6/13). What should I do? Should I go and possibly open myself up to be a victim of a PA by WS or should I stay for more fighting and drama. She has an appt with an IC Monday. Help!
Posts: 4 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Easton, PA
Member # 38787
| Posted: 1:50 PM, April 19th (Friday), 2013|
Wow I wish I could help. I don't know anything about your back story, like d day or how long nc letter etc.
If it was me in my situation I would have to trust my gut.
And hope for the best but you will still worry all weekend, anyway. Enjoy the time with your daughter. She what matters that weekend.
Hang in there.
Bw (me) 47
WH (him) 59
D day 3/7/2013
Married 26 together 28
2 adult sons 25 and 22
Posts: 167 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: nj
Member # 30826
| Posted: 1:54 PM, April 19th (Friday), 2013|
I'd go..but I'd hide a few VARS around the house..under the bed..in the living room..etc.
M: June 2001
Status: Currently in R..very happy with this *new* husband!
..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.
Posts: 6101 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
Member # 25001
| Posted: 2:02 PM, April 19th (Friday), 2013|
I agree with confused. You have to do whatever you need to feel safe and if that's getting VAR's then do it.
Can you bring your son so if the OM does come over (hopefully not) he won't be around him? Just a thought.
Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Him - (Doesn't matter)
D-Day June 12th 2008, D-Day #2 Sept 28th
D-Day #3 Feb 15th & 16th 2010, D-Day #4 Nov 29th 2010
Posts: 4591 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
Member # 38337
| Posted: 2:15 PM, April 19th (Friday), 2013|
Why can't SHE leave? And if you have to leave, why are you taking your child?
Hoping you feel better.
Truth is incontrovertible. Panic may resent it, ignorance may deride it, malice may destroy it, but it is still there. Winston Churchill
Posts: 200 | Registered: Feb 2013
Member # 37740
| Posted: 2:17 PM, April 19th (Friday), 2013|
There's not much you can do to stop a PA if your WW wants to be with the OM.
Even if you don't go, it won't solve anything. You can't watch her every second and doing that will drive you crazy.
Go enjoy time with your daughter and try, I know it's impossible, to forget about them for awhile.
BH - 63
fWW - 59
"Affairs are not mistakes, they are a series of deliberate choices." - CrappyLife
Posts: 368 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Upstate NY
Member # 37322
| Posted: 2:36 PM, April 19th (Friday), 2013|
I feel for you, brother. I too have spent way too much time and energy trying to keep WGF and OM apart and all my efforts were wasted. The cold hard truth of it is this, if she wants to see him then she will.
If not this weekend, then next, or late one night, or if you go on a business trip. There is ZERO stopping a WS from doing anything. Z-E-R-O.
Get out, enjoy some time with DD, try to feel normal even if it's just for the weekend.
There are plenty of folks here with great advice for you. There will be some bitter pills to swallow but we all want to help you minimize the pain and move forward in a healthy way.
VARs help. Hide multiple if you can (just don't tape them under a counter, WGF found mine almost as soon as i left the apartment ).
Me: BBF (29)
WXGF: Confused26 (27) EA/PA with xBF, lasted almost a year. TT, blameshifting, gaslighting, & broken NC for 10 months.
Together 5 years
Ding dong, the bitch is gone! Settling into the life of a single dad.
Posts: 307 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: New England
Member # 39044
| Posted: 10:20 PM, April 19th (Friday), 2013|
I too just learned of EA I guess I'm fairly lucky because he says he met her online and has yet to meet her. However, he won't stop speaking to her and has told me to move out with our son that I am ruining his life. I am scared but not really about his EA. I'm scared for my child's future since his father is refusing to stop the EA and try to repair the damage to our family before a PA begins.
Me BS 37
Together 12 years
D-Day was told it was EA 4/11/2013 found out it was PA 4/21/2013 :( I am broken
1 son (9)
3 kids from previous (19,17,16)
His kids from previous 2 (17, 15)
Posts: 74 | Registered: Apr 2013
|Topic Posts: 8|