Welcome! I'm so sorry you find yourself here. Please know you are not alone and also that you've found a great support system to help you through this.
Not sure what the best course of action is and don't know what to do.
OK, gently here... your best course of action... is NO action at all. Do not call and holler, scream, beg or plead. The hard truth is that it will fall on deaf ears and will only upset (hurt) you more.
Try and get some sleep and reaccess things in the morning. If you can't sleep, try reading the "Healing Library" - Yellow box top left of every page. It has great info to help you understand what your feeling and dealing with.
I'm so sorry that this is happening, but you are NOT alone. We are here for you. Your H is chasing a glittery imaginary unicorn, and as much as it hurts you have to remember that this isn't a reflection on you OR your marriage OR what kind of love you deserve, it's him and his brokenness. Please do read up in the healing library.
I really recommend you looking into the 180 as well. Giving him all these concessions while still living with you is just going to make him cake eat as much as he can. Try to find your inner strength to calmly and firmly demand the respect you deserve.
You can get through this. The weekends are a little quieter here but you have a lot of people ready to hear you and help.
For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning. - T.S. Eliot
Do the 180.
Out them both at work. They need to accept the consequences for THEIR actions.
Take care of yourself. He's a dirt bag.
Monday, unfortunately, you are going to have to make an appointment with a doctor, or go to a clinic, and have a full STD/HIV screen run. You cannot accept his word that they practiced safe sex you have to assume that they did not because 99.999999% of them don't and then lie about it. It goes to say that there should be no sexual contact with him until he does the same and then shows you the doctor's report because, well, he's a liar and you can't trust what he says. I know that this is just horrible, but we've all had to do the same, and no one has ever reported back that they were the first people to have to do this in their doctor's office. Unfortunately, the doctors deal with this all of the time.
Come back often for support. We're here for you. (((hugs)))
D-Day, June 10, 2012