Two year anniversary of DDay1 was last week. WW was out of town and I had some time to quietly reflect on the past and present.
My W's A shattered my soul; shredded my inner being.
Post DDay, my W promised to fix everything. She couldn't bring herself to do it. Self protection, closed doors, or something else.
We are divorcing. Her choice. I came out of the post DDay depression last November and began to enjoy life and my W again. Only she was done with the M.
I will lose the daily interaction with my kids. When they come and go, the casual comment, a moment shared.
I will lose the future I thought my W and I would have together. The kids being grown; the time and money available to do what we wanted to do.
I am a different person today, one I could not have imagined. My W, my family has been the center of my world for 20 years. They were all that mattered. Shattered like a dropped mirror.
I cannot see being close to smomeone like I was and could be with the woman I shared 20 years of life.
Life goes on. I believe it can be good.
So two years out. Working on rebuilding my soul. Sitll mouring the loss of my M and what I thought was mine. Struggling to see how the future can bring the happiness that I saw in my past.