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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Two years out and divorcing
hopeandchange
♂ Member
Member # 33287
Default  Posted: 12:01 PM, April 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Two year anniversary of DDay1 was last week. WW was out of town and I had some time to quietly reflect on the past and present.

My W's A shattered my soul; shredded my inner being.

Post DDay, my W promised to fix everything. She couldn't bring herself to do it. Self protection, closed doors, or something else.

We are divorcing. Her choice. I came out of the post DDay depression last November and began to enjoy life and my W again. Only she was done with the M.

I will lose the daily interaction with my kids. When they come and go, the casual comment, a moment shared.

I will lose the future I thought my W and I would have together. The kids being grown; the time and money available to do what we wanted to do.

I am a different person today, one I could not have imagined. My W, my family has been the center of my world for 20 years. They were all that mattered. Shattered like a dropped mirror.

I cannot see being close to smomeone like I was and could be with the woman I shared 20 years of life.

Life goes on. I believe it can be good.

So two years out. Working on rebuilding my soul. Sitll mouring the loss of my M and what I thought was mine. Struggling to see how the future can bring the happiness that I saw in my past.

h&c


BH (me, 50)
WS (her, 48)
Divorced!
3 wonderful teens
Heading for Happiness

Posts: 405 | Registered: Sep 2011
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 1:03 PM, April 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It sounds like you're doing things just right-- you're living life with a cautious mix of optimism and realism while experiencing the necessary mourning it takes to get past the end of a significant relationship.

I hope you're taking care of yourself and doing some things that you enjoy to help you get through this difficult time.

(((hac)))


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3600 | Registered: Oct 2011
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 6:23 PM, April 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It took me 2 years after d-day to come to the realization that I needed to D to save myself.

You'll be ok. It takes time.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7643 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
fallingquickly
♀ Member
Member # 36599
Default  Posted: 1:31 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((hopeandchange))


Our timing is so similar. My 2 year dd was March 18. It was tough but I think maybe a turning point for me.

I cannot see being close to smomeone like I was and could be with the woman I shared 20 years of life.

Life goes on. I believe it can be good.

So two years out. Working on rebuilding my soul. Sitll mouring the loss of my M and what I thought was mine. Struggling to see how the future can bring the happiness that I saw in my past.

Your whole post sounds very much like what I am going through but these words in particular spoke to me. I'm having such a difficult time letting go of what was supposed to be. I turn 50 soon. Even my mother-in-law says I will find someone and be happy. (although she wants me to stay with WH) But I just don't see trusting so thoroughly again. I need to get the courage to file for divorce and leave the life I have had for the last 33 years (26 married). We live separately so I'm not sure why I can't just make the break.

I wish us both the courage to forge a happy life.

[This message edited by fallingquickly at 1:32 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday)]


Me-BW 50
Him-STBXWH

2 Ddays and lots of TT
divorcing

Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going. (Criminal Minds)

I saw him, I could not unsee him. -StrongButBroken


Posts: 453 | Registered: Aug 2012
want a new life
♀ Member
Member # 27286
Default  Posted: 6:10 PM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As much as it hurts now you will find peace. Also relief that you have been set free from a one-sided marriage. Much strength to you.


Me BS - 57
D 6/2010
It's been a long journey but I think I'm finally arriving at my happy place:)


Posts: 232 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: midwest
Topic Posts: 5

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