For some reason I feel a need to hear things from her side. The OW is unfortunately a Family member. I know you all say she will lie.
I think it's because he has lied the entire past year, and I need some verification that he is now telling the truth.
I also feel that I must let the OW's boyfriend know what kind of person she is.
IDK very confused. H is being good and trying, but I am having a hard time letting go of these thoughts.
Even though the worst of it happened a year ago, I keep going over it and over it. I guess it's because I found out now.
H has a lot going on right now with his own family, and his work. I don't want to put more on him right now so I am trying to give him a break.
It's very hard though, so many questions... Trying to act strong and confident, but don't really feel confident
I keep thinking about how young she was. Not older and slightly saggy. lol He tells me he loves me and he doesn't think that way so I shouldn't either.
This stuff sure does a number on your head. Before this I was very confident and now..not so much.
She may lie, or maybe she will step up and help you out! My husbands OW was younger too! That part sucks for me also!!
It sucks when you put your trust into another woman. I think it's her betrayal that hurts me more.
I feel that men will always try and it's up to the woman to say no. Don't get me wrong, I am REALLY pissed at husband but I "expected" her to care for me, both as her family and as a woman.
But I think the real hurt from her is that I brought her into my home and welcomed her with open arms..Little did I know she would come and decimate my marriage
He came to me and held me, told me that he loved ME, not her always me. He also told me that this is OUR house and she has no part of it. He told me when he looks here or there it's us he sees not her.
He has been good about reassuring me.. Thank god
Thanks for your advice, I think you are 100% right, about how to go about it. So glad to have people that understand :). Hope all is well for you too. I will tell the boyfriend because I believe he deserves to know the truth. I will definitely remember your tips, I think they are great.
However well that went,though...it still left me feeling empty. The answer I really wanted wasn't going to be found with her/from her...it was only going to come from WH. I liked having the details confirmed...at least there was some shit WH wasn't lying about,and in these early days,I cling to that for hope- you may be the same way.
Good luck with whatever contact path you choose.
She knows exactly how this feels, her 3rd husband cheated on her while she took care of her dad. Wonder what makes her think mine won't cheat on her if he cheats with her? My counselor said not to have any contact with her, but I so want to blast her.
I keep asking myself, if I find out that he lied again, or lied by omission, is it going to make a difference? It probably would, but then I'd have to question whether or not she was being truthful. What a mess.
I think I would contact her if you think the clarity will help you and if you think she'd be honest.