I just want to be with her again. I want to feel secure in our future. I just want to be IN LOVE.
that was just a piece of my mind.
We choose to stay because we are people who hold the belief that there is still some good in our relationships, though it might be deeply concealed for the interim.
We still have some measure of hope that we will see that goodness that was in evidence when we exchanged vows of devotion.
I am certain that no matter how long it has been since R has been worked on, there will ALWAYS be times in our lives (albeit rare or periodic) when we look at our S and briefly see the gargoyle they once were, and that's okay because our long term memory is made to store information for a LONG TIME. It's how we forgive ourselves for those moments and live on in our lives seeing our S's become someone we WANT to stay beside.
I hope this goes a little way to helping jf!
They say that it takes 2-5 years to get back to feeling "normal", or at least that the relationship that you have with your FWS is sustainable. I'm a believer in the timeline.
The fact that you feel like trust is coming back means that more and more feelings of love will hopefully be close behind.
Hang in there. You're doing great, even though you might not feel like it at times.