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User Topic: Is this wrong?
painpaingoaway
♀ Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 7:21 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So yesterday I took my adorable G-baby, (18 months old ) for a haircut at a barbershop that is known for handling toddler haircuts well.

We had to wait about an hour, as there was only one barber working at the time.

Two men were also waiting, (one guy about my age, and a younger guy looked about 30ish).

So by the time it was G-baby's turn, the 2 guys and I had talked a bit, (mainly with the older guy, as the younger one was messing with his phone alot ) so I felt like we were no longer total strangers.

G-baby was so good with getting his hair cut, and the barber and I were both so impressed and thrilled that there was no crying, screaming or holding him down that I asked the younger guy if he would mind taking a pic with his phone of G-baby getting his haircut and sending it to my daughter. (I don't have a smartphone, nor is there a camera on my phone. Alright now, y'all can quit laughing, yes, I am old school when it comes to phones and quite frankly could really care less. I'll upgrade to an iPhone when my contract renews in Sept, and I can get a free one).

Well, you should of seen the look on younger guys face. He raised his eyebrows and looked all surprised and shocked, and started stammering, and so I immediately said, "oh that's fine, no problem if you don't want to" and he muttered something about "being in the middle of something right now". (I think he was playing a game )

H says I just can't go around asking people to use their phones to send pics for me. Now, please understand, I have NEVER asked someone to do anything like this before, and never would, it's just that this particular time, it seemed okay to ask.

Was I wrong?


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7102 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
Deeply Scared
♀ Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 8:24 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ppga...

I don't know...because I'm a super friendly person, *I* wouldn't have given it a second thought, but I can see how others would be put out or feel awkward by it.


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 198321 | Registered: May 2002
ajsmom
♀ Member
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 8:28 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can see AJ being asked to do this and doing it.

I think the dude was rude.

JMHO.

AJ's MOM


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21071 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
Sad in AZ
♀ Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 8:33 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It would have put me off, ppga. (But I'm NOT an outgoing person, so take it for what it's worth...)

Also, I don't know much about phone games, but maybe he was at a point where he would have lost the game when you asked.

I did lend my phone to a gentleman this past Sunday. I was birding on the bay at Galveston. The man & his son were sitting near their kayak and he asked if he could use my phone to call his wife because she was supposed to pick them up and they had been waiting for quite a while. I hesitated but then figured if he ran off with my phone, I could probably catch him Also, my phone doesn't work very well and drops calls all the time, so I was a bit worried. Wound up I had no service in the area.


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20292 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
painpaingoaway
♀ Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 8:36 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh good, now I don't have to hang my head in shame, lol.

Or, perhaps, maybe the three of us are just old farts?


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7102 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
painpaingoaway
♀ Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 8:39 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Uh oh. sad is making me feel shameful again.

[This message edited by painpaingoaway at 8:39 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday)]


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7102 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 9:07 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Maybe he didn't know how to send a pic.

Just a thought.


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5279 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Lucky2HaveMe
♀ Member
Member # 13333
Default  Posted: 9:16 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Honestly, I would have thought it weird if a stranger I had just met asked me to take a pic and send it to someone I don't know - and I would wonder why they trusted me to NOT send a pic of a kid onto someone else... anyone else.

Ya, you were wrong.


Indian wisdom says our lives are rivers. We are born somewhere small and quiet and we move toward a place we cannot see, but only imagine. From Tending Roses

Posts: 6567 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: WNY
painpaingoaway
♀ Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 9:18 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh Lucky! You are absolutely right! I never thought about that!


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7102 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
VioletPush
♀ Member
Member # 31365
Default  Posted: 9:24 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would be hesitant to comply with such a request because whoever I was sending the message to would then have my phone number. I don't like giving my number out to strangers.

I think you let him off the hook very gracefully though! :)

[This message edited by VioletPush at 9:24 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday)]


Got rid of a lot of baggage, moved across the country, and am moving on with my life!

Posts: 235 | Registered: Mar 2011
painpaingoaway
♀ Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 9:26 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ah, another good point! VP.

Oh shit. I'm wrong. I hate to be wrong.


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7102 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
ajsmom
♀ Member
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 9:27 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sheesh. Gauging from some of these responses, it saddens me to think that we truly have reached the age when we can't ask people to do anything for us.

Like I said before, if I (or I'm sure my son) was asked the same favor, I/we would have done so. Something similar had happened to me once - I was at a restaurant and a couple was celebrating her birthday. To her surprise, he had a decorated cake made and brought out to her table. He had forgotten his phone and asked if I could take some photos of her with the cake and email them to him. I did it without question. Obviously it wasn’t a photo of a child, but I didn’t hesitate in the least.

The scenario as was painted had ppga engaged in conversation with these guys prior to her asking. Granted, the younger guy, not so much. Still, she gained a sense of "ok" with these guys. Her spidey senses weren't flaring up and she felt safe to broach them/him with the question. I think to call her out as flat out wrong seems a bit harsh to me.


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21071 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
painpaingoaway
♀ Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 9:32 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm cool with it AJM. They make some really good points.


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7102 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
Amazonia
♀ Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 9:34 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I too would be seriously weirded out by this request. That said, I'm a people pleaser, so I probably would have done it anyway.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13801 | Registered: Jul 2011
metamorphisis
♀ Administrator
Member # 12041
Default  Posted: 9:40 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is it ok if my feet are firmly planted in both camps?

I would do it for you without blinking an eye. However, you and I would have been chatting about the weather, kids, news stories and summer vacation plans by that point. I like people, and if they don't give me a creepy vibe I will chat away

My concern is because it was a young man he was worried about one of two things.. taking a picture of a child and being accused of being a perv. Or B) his girlfriend or wife wondering who he had been emailing with. I suppose that's my experience with these boards coming into play.
Funny you should bring this up though because my husband was at a baseball game with his dad and my son, and my son was on the big screen for something and he didn't have a camera. The lady in front of him snapped a pic for him and sent to our email. Dh explained it as soon as he came in so I wouldn't worry.

I find it interesting that people would be so concerned over asking a stranger to take a picture but think nothing of slapping pictures of their kids all over the internet. Even with Facebook privacy settings, your friends and family could pass them on. That frightens me more.



“We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”... Anais Nin

Posts: 44975 | Registered: Sep 2006
idiot85
♂ Member
Member # 38934
Default  Posted: 9:46 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'd have totally sent it- and told you to get a Blackberry instead of an iPhone!!


BH-29 (me)
WW-28

Multi famam, conscientiam, pauci verentur.


Posts: 575 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Old Blighty
TattoodChinaDoll
♀ Member
Member # 34602
Default  Posted: 9:49 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would have done it because I'm a mother doing a favor for another mother and her daughter. So I get it that way. But later on I would totally be telling people, "some random lady asked me to take a picture of her grandson and text it to her daughter. Doesn't she feel weird knowing a stranger now has a picture of the kid and her daughter's number. What if I was a total creeper? And how do I know that the daughter isn't crazy and now has my number?"

It was probably a combination of a bunch of things people have mentioned above.


Me (BW): 32
WH: 33 TimeToManUp
Married: 11 years, together 16 years
3 daughters: 9, 5, 3, and and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)
D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011


Posts: 1727 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: New Jersey
painpaingoaway
♀ Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 9:57 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My concern is because it was a young man he was worried about one of two things.. taking a picture of a child and being accused of being a perv. Or B) his girlfriend or wife wondering who he had been emailing with.
Damn, more good points Meta"

And

slapping pictures of their kids all over the internet
oh Gawd, I've done that too, right here on SI. (although I usually take them down rather quickly). Ack. Kill me. (just kidding)


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7102 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
Dark Inertia
Member
Member # 30727
Default  Posted: 10:00 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think you are going to get a few different responses from the type of people that you are asking. Please take into account that this was a younger man, possibly without children. Honestly, I kind of would been put off by the request, but I may have done and added "time for you to get a phone with a camera"... in a tactful way, of course.

Plus... it sounds like you were not interacting with the younger guy that much. You were talking to the older gentleman as the younger one was messing with his phone alot. If he was messing with his phone it doesn't sound like he was as engaged in the conversation.

And here is something else... and I will say this as gently as possible...

I am sure your grandbaby is adorable, and I am sure most people can appreciate how polite and adorable he is... but your grandbaby is not affiliated with the younger man at all. For all we know, he could secretly dislike children. It is a little presumptuous for us to be comfortable enough to assume the guy will not mind taking a picture of a stranger's kid, and then sending the pic to another stranger. Yes, the child is adorable, but it is not his. Nor does he know the parents at all. Honestly, I would be put out, as simple as a request as it may be. JMO.

[This message edited by Dark Inertia at 10:00 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday)]


"If I listened earlier, I wouldn't be here. But that's just the trouble with me. I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it."

Posts: 1284 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: The Ohio
painpaingoaway
♀ Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 10:04 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Damn, I'm getting a spanking. But that's okay. I wanted opinions.


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7102 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
Topic Posts: 40
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