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User Topic: Is this wrong?
Dark Inertia
Member
Member # 30727
Default  Posted: 10:08 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I want to add, I don't mind taking pictures of people if they have their own phone and camera. I love doing that for folks! But not on my own phone/camera.

Anyway, I wouldn't think twice about it. What with the electronic age there is so much new etiquette around that we hardly know what is right or wrong these days.

[This message edited by Dark Inertia at 10:08 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday)]


"If I listened earlier, I wouldn't be here. But that's just the trouble with me. I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it."

Posts: 1174 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: The Ohio
MissesJai
♀ Member
Member # 24849
Default  Posted: 10:09 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think the dude was rude.
yeah count me in this group. I would've done it and I know DS 18 would've done it as well.


FWW - 40
I'm big on personal responsibility. Own your shit. ALL OF IT.

Posts: 5767 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: So Cal.....
Dark Inertia
Member
Member # 30727
Default  Posted: 10:17 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't see how he was rude. It's not like he said "OH MY GOD, HELL TO THE NO!"

What exactly did this person do that is rude? All I see is someone declining taking a picture of a stranger and sending it to another stranger. It sounds like what you are saying is because your sons would have done it, and you would have done it, since this kid chose NOT to do it, it was rude of him to decline.

[This message edited by Dark Inertia at 10:18 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday)]


"If I listened earlier, I wouldn't be here. But that's just the trouble with me. I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it."

Posts: 1174 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: The Ohio
MissesJai
♀ Member
Member # 24849
Default  Posted: 10:22 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Him being rude is just my opinion. Just like AJ's mom had the same opinion. My doing it has nothing to do with what my son would or wouldn't have done. Hell, if he had said no, I still wouldn't have done it. Your interpretation of my reply is off but that is YOUR opinion. I'm not questioning it so why are you questioning my opinion? You're entitled to yours just as I'm entitled to mine.


FWW - 40
I'm big on personal responsibility. Own your shit. ALL OF IT.

Posts: 5767 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: So Cal.....
Dark Inertia
Member
Member # 30727
Default  Posted: 10:25 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

All I am asking is HOW was he being rude. I am just going off what you said. How, in your interpretation is he being rude? Because after reading your post I went back to the original post thinking I missed something, and I don't see it.

You said (paraphrasing): I would have done it. My son would have done it. Dude was rude.

What is one suppose to take from that?

And I said nothing about you not being entitled to your opinion, I was just questioning how you FORMED your opinion. I didn't mean to sound harsh.

[This message edited by Dark Inertia at 10:26 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday)]


"If I listened earlier, I wouldn't be here. But that's just the trouble with me. I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it."

Posts: 1174 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: The Ohio
stillstrong
♀ Member
Member # 36144
Default  Posted: 10:29 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was at a restaurant and a couple was celebrating her birthday. To her surprise, he had a decorated cake made and brought out to her table. He had forgotten his phone and asked if I could take some photos of her with the cake and email them to him. I did it without question. Obviously it wasnít a photo of a child, but I didnít hesitate in the least.


Me too, we were on a boat cruise in Boston. A mom asked me to take pictures of her and her kids, then gave me her email address and I emailed them to her.
Maybe the guy is a fwh and didn't want to explain to his bw who you were and why he was sending pics for you!


Me BS 47
Him WS 51
DDay LTA Feb 21, 2006
R until DDay 2EA's 1/31/12 ONS 2/5/12 Broken NC 7/12/12
Moved out 9/12
Legally Separated 3/13


Posts: 848 | Registered: Jul 2012
ajsmom
♀ Member
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 10:31 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You said (paraphrasing): I would have done it. My son would have done it. Dude was rude.

Ummm...those were actually more "my" words.

Rude as in he sat there for some time and either participated in or overheard ppga's conversation with the other person.

His rudeness lies in his response "I'm in the middle of something" while never looking at her instead of acknowledging her request and saying something more kind, such as "I'm sorry, I'm uncomfortable doing that."

ETA: I "get" why he may have had issues with it. IMHO, he could have handled his response better.

[This message edited by ajsmom at 10:32 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday)]


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21032 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
MissesJai
♀ Member
Member # 24849
Default  Posted: 10:32 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What is one suppose to take from that?
that in my opinion, given the welcoming atmosphere of the barber shop, he was rude. I don't see why you seem to be taking an issue with my post even though I'm not the only in this camp.


FWW - 40
I'm big on personal responsibility. Own your shit. ALL OF IT.

Posts: 5767 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: So Cal.....
veritas
♀ Member
Member # 3525
Default  Posted: 10:37 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Maybe he was playing Candy Crush Saga

*ccs waits for no one*
*and i would never ask a stranger to take a picture of my kid, or give a stranger anybody's phone number*
*i hate giving MY number out, which is probably why i don't date much *


Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

Posts: 10168 | Registered: Feb 2004
Lucky2HaveMe
♀ Member
Member # 13333
Default  Posted: 10:49 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you had asked the older guy you were engaged in a convo with, better.

If you were asking it to be sent to you, better.

But asking to send a pic of your gc to a 3rd party (albeit his mom) - not so good.

What was your dd's reaction?

And my 26yo - if he was waiting for a haircut, playing on his phone, he would have tuned out the entire convo between you & the other guy - heck he tunes me out if he's engrossed in something.


Indian wisdom says our lives are rivers. We are born somewhere small and quiet and we move toward a place we cannot see, but only imagine. From Tending Roses

Posts: 5999 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: WNY
Dark Inertia
Member
Member # 30727
Default  Posted: 10:58 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

To Ajmom: "ummmmm" ... No, yourself and someone else said that. I did not find his reaction to be rude at all. I found him to be caught off guard at suddenly being asked an invasive thing and trying to tactfully bow out WITHOUT being rude. Not everyone is articulate as the next person, and I would not categorize his reaction as rude unless he became belligerent.

I apologize to Missjai (?) I do not mean to just needle you, yours was the last one I picked.


"If I listened earlier, I wouldn't be here. But that's just the trouble with me. I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it."

Posts: 1174 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: The Ohio
Crescita
♀ Member
Member # 32616
Default  Posted: 11:05 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wouldn't sweat it ppga. Some people will be uncomfortable with it, other's won't. I think the discomfort stems more from it being unusual than out of line.

Also your GS was out in public, preserving that kind of moment isn't some intensely intimate or perverted request.


Posts: 3256 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: The Valley of the Sun
Mandilwen
♀ Member
Member # 27186
Default  Posted: 11:35 AM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lol, I don't think you should worry too much about it. I have received a few pics of my kids from random numbers when they are with their dad. Of course my ex is probably using the kids to flirt with some chick, but his phone can't send/receive picture messages unless on WiFi.


BS-34; WXH-32; DS8; DS3; OC3
DDay: SEPT 2008
Divorced: JUNE 2010

Posts: 318 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Indy
painpaingoaway
♀ Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 12:08 PM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What was your dd's reaction?
Well of course I didn't tell her, lol! She and her H both would have given me the ole 'Moms' ole fashioned eyeroll'.


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7021 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
painpaingoaway
♀ Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 12:09 PM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, eye roll while shaking their heads.


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7021 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
jrc1963
♀ Member
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 2:37 PM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

PPGA - I don't think you should even worry about this for another second.

A) You never know until you ask.

B) You were gracious when you let the guy off the hook.

C) I doubt highly that this guy has even thought about it since it happened.

and Finally....

D) Don't get an iPhone get a Blackberry!!!


Me: BSO - 45
Him: FWSO - 68
DS - 12
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24341 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
Sad in AZ
♀ Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 4:02 PM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He may have been rude; he may have been uncomfortable and nonconfrontational. Who knows?

The request would have made me very uncomfortable.

We can only answer from our own perspectives.


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 19795 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
SouthernGal
♀ Member
Member # 27315
Default  Posted: 4:39 PM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My cell phone is my only phone and I am very particular about who I give my phone number out to.

So yeah ... If a total stranger asked me to take a pic and send it to someone I didn't know I wouldn't be too keen to do it because now some total stranger has my phone number.

I'm not saying that asking is wrong because it isn't wrong to ask. Though neither is it wrong or rude of someone to refuse.


BS (Me) XWH (him) M nearly 16 yrs
1 DD (teens)
D-day #1 12/09, #2 2/10
Divorced 10/6/10

Posts: 3862 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: The Deep (Fried) South
Whalers11
♀ Member
Member # 27544
Default  Posted: 10:31 AM, April 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Put me in the camp of this request would have made me feel uncomfortable.


Me: BGF - 33
Together 11+ years - not married, no children.
D-Day: 2/9/2010
OC Born: 10/9/2010
Status: He chose OW/OC and left immediately.

Posts: 2177 | Registered: Feb 2010
asurvivor
♂ Member
Member # 32368
Default  Posted: 10:51 AM, April 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Shout out to my 15 year old daughter. If a guy asks you to take a picture and forward it on your email...don't do it. He now has your email, he then runs a reverse look up, finds out your name, finds out your address, runs a google earth to see where your bedroom window is....I think that acid flashback paranoia is kicking in this morning...get away get away you demons.


I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know.



Posts: 500 | Registered: Jun 2011
Topic Posts: 40
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