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Newest Member: Alaska77 (44743)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: BF and Husband talk for first time since D-Day
LA44
♀ Member
Member # 38384
Default  Posted: 2:30 PM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, yesterday was my BF's bday. Since she lives in another province so we were on the phone. My H came in the room and asked if he could wish her well (they had only emailed before this and it was a couple months after D-Day). I asked her if it would be okay if he got on the phone. There was a brief pause and she said, "Of course!"

Then they had a short but friendly chat. I cried when he hung up. The moment just touched me. My BF was SICK about the A. She stood by me and asked him a lot of questions earlier this year. She told him how she felt. But when I told her we wanted to R, she told me that she would support that.

Truly, as my Maid of Honour, 15 years ago, she stood by her promise to be there for us in times of trouble. She sees the big picture. And I love her for that.

Just wanted to share.

How are things with your spouse and BF?

[This message edited by LA44 at 2:31 PM, April 23rd (Tuesday)]


Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear

Posts: 2228 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Canada, eh
Conflicted1
♀ Member
Member # 39019
Default  Posted: 2:33 PM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How lucky you are to have a BF that is also a friend to your marriage.


Honesty is a very expensive gift. Don't expect it from cheap people.

Posts: 101 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Me=BW 45
KeepCalm_CarryOn
♀ Member
Member # 33374
Default  Posted: 2:34 PM, April 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This happened to us when a year after D-day we went to my best friend's wedding. She had been my MOH and I was hers, but it was the first time through everything FWH and BF were going to be in the same place...and my BF is not one to bite her tongue. I was PETRIFIED. They had a little chat, away from everyone else, and the rest of the weekend was perfect including FWH doing all the extra little stuff BF needed for her wedding!

She has supported me through R, but also him. It's been pretty awesome.


You are not dealing with rational people or situations. Normal thought processes won't work...story of my life.

Me- BW, 28
Him- fWh, 34
Mostly R'd, minus a few scars...bought a house and got a puppy...And baby makes 3! She arrived August


Posts: 2009 | Registered: Sep 2011
guarded
♀ Member
Member # 25364
Default  Posted: 5:25 PM, April 27th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WH and one if my best friends still don't talk and it really is terrible bc I rarely get to see or talk to her much anymore. If we see her in public, like in a store, etc. she will come over or I will go to talk to her but WH will disappear. I don' t make any excuses for him and it is just too bad for him, but he is angry with her for telling him during the A that he was being a total shit. She is loyal to a fault and was the ONLY person we know, including both our families, besides me that called him on his behavior during the affair. I have tremendous respect for her for this and very little for all those that thought it just wasn't their business. Which is why he feels justified being angry with her, that it was not her business. I say bullshit either way.


In R? But how do you know it isn't another pack of lies?

Posts: 451 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: NY
918Mama
♀ Member
Member # 37756
Default  Posted: 11:18 AM, April 28th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My BF and her husband just got a shotgun. She asked me if I knew anyone who could give them some lessons and gun safety training.

My H is an officer. I made a joke about knowing someone but probably not anyone she would want lessons from. She said, dead seriously:

"IF I ever see him again, it should NEVER be when I have a gun in my hands."

She's the friend that if I showed up at her house in the middle of the night with a dead body in my car, would ask no questions, get her shovel and drive me deep into the desert to bury the body.

So I'm glad your H and BF can talk!!!


Surrender to what is. Let go of what was. Have faith in what will be. -- Sonia Ricotti

Posts: 537 | Registered: Dec 2012
Stangfreak
♀ Member
Member # 35157
Default  Posted: 7:43 PM, April 28th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My spouses BF was one of the ones not only assisting, but encouraging him to cheat by offering to cover for him and trying to set him up with women at his church, at which he is a deacon. He was the best man at our wedding.

I am so glad that you have such a supportive friend. Hold on to that one, because friends like that don't come around every day.


"Some glad morning when this life is o'er, I'll fly away.
To a home on God's celestial shore, I'll fly away.
I'll fly away, oh glory, I'll fly away (IN THE MORNING!)
When I die, hallelujah by and by, I'll fly away!"

Posts: 85 | Registered: Mar 2012 | From: Alabama
Topic Posts: 6

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