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Reconciliation

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Topic: Unresolved feelings for AP?

numb&dumb
♂ Member
Member # 28542

Posted: 1:25 PM, April 25th (Thursday), 2013

Hey man. Sorry that you are having to endure this on top of everything you got already.

I may just be cynical, but my gut is screaming at the explanation she gave. You know her better than me, do you believe she is being honest about this ?

Is she trying to convince you or herself ?

Think on it and ask her. She has the ownership of proving that it was what she said it was. Her words don't match her actions in this case.

You have every right to be concerned. The explanation seemed to come after she saw your reaction. Back tracking in a misguided attempt to protect you from the truth.

I may be wrong, but that is how it reads to me.

Me-35 her-35

DS 1, DD 6
Dday 8/31/11. ONS that occurred 3 years earlier. Lied to for 3 years.

"Balance"

Posts: 2300 | Registered: May 2010

NotsureIcan
♀ Member
Member # 38113

Posted: 1:42 PM, April 25th (Thursday), 2013

I am 6 months from d-day with my WH. We just covered this topic in MC last week. I always obsessed about the end, the closure etc. WH on the other hand did not. I needed him to describe to me his feelings about her as he looks at it now ( he has been NC since d-day). He said for him (a recovering addict) that he was addicted to the lying and the chaos, not the OW. It was hard for me to understand why, when I found out that it was so easy for him to walk away. (Or her for that matter) WH said all along he felt guilty and ended things with her, then started again, on and off over 3 months. He explained to me that he was always afraid of her retaliation since I didn't know about her so he would go back to placate the situation only to feel worse again. He said he never loved her but was so miserable in the beginning (trying not to relapse) that she made him feel good about himself. Basically in the beginning she was an escape from having to deal with us and for the rest of the time it was horrible but he couldn't stop. My situation may be different since he is an addict but WH has never once said anything other than he was glad it was over. If he had said different I would not be with him. It's hard enough when they give R 100%, I can't imagine it otherwise.

BW (me)-44
WH-47

D-day 11/06/12
R one day at a time

Posts: 103 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Florida

Topic Posts: 22

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