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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Discovery: paper or electronic?
♀ Member
Member # 32550
Default  Posted: 8:14 AM, April 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Given what previous people have said, I would make it a priority to get the SA-related docs to his lawyer ASAP. Tax stuff, etc secondary. Because there is a chance it may all settle out of court and then you don't have to provide everything else. And yes, totally label the files nonsequitor and in as many different files as possible.

I know it is not the same thing, but recently when we went to legal battle with a mentally ill landlord, even he was able to fold and settle once we submitted evidence that exposed all the illegal things he was doing that would be on record for future renters to see. I am really hoping this is the case for you. But I would still prepare for fallout, whatever you need for a RO filed ASAP if it comes to that.

BS 43, SAWH 38. M 15years, together 17. Body count in the triple digits. Both in recovery, trying to R.
Three kids under age 11.

Posts: 1484 | Registered: Jun 2011
♀ Member
Member # 33606
Default  Posted: 9:02 AM, April 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you, thank you, thank you everyone!!!

I use a Mac, so I will follow the PDF directions!

Also, I am planning on scanning the tax documents and old bank statements and credit card statements with a $1.99 app on my iPad. The scans don't look that great, but they're mostly readable.

I will return the scanner to Amazon and buy myself a pair of shoes and some "life after divorce" books. Suggestions gratefully accepted.

And Hath, today my attorney said not to worry about the 2000 pages right now. But I am going to call him about it. You are entirely right. Ot at least I hope and pray that you are right and we have even a tiny chance at settling this out of court. I'll have to see if STBX's self-preservation side wins over his NPD side. Unlikely but worth a try.

THANK YOU to everyone who wrote to me with such great advice. I am so thankful and grateful to you all.

Posts: 1702 | Registered: Oct 2011
♀ Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 9:13 AM, April 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hope, you may not even need to convert to PDF - ask your attorney if the file type matters.

"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13791 | Registered: Jul 2011
♀ Member
Member # 34805
Default  Posted: 1:04 PM, April 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

These days most courts are moving towards requiring all electronic submissions (except where the original is legally required such as a will).

I actually teach estate planning to other attorneys. Although he may be entitled to one half of the income from your inheritance, I do not know of a state where he would be entitled to a penny of the principal. Your answer to why you should get to keep the money left to you should be "Because it is legally mine, asshat!"

Don't look at how far you have to go, but how far you have come

Posts: 350 | Registered: Feb 2012
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Member # 33606
Default  Posted: 1:18 PM, April 26th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you, Wishing. My attorney sort of told me that too, but it makes me feel better to hear it from a second source.

If he can't get his hands on it, he'll just use it to lower support for his kids. I'm a SAHM (looking for a job after eight years).

Also, I didn't even mention that he didn't pay his 2011 or 2012 income taxes. I paid mine separately, based on income from the trust and an investment in my name. I'm sure the judge will consider the taxes marital debt and try to make me pay half of it with the trust money. I will need that trust money for housing for myself and the children.

It's a real mess. I get weepy just thinking about it.

Thanks again. At least you've given me one less thing to worry about today.

Posts: 1702 | Registered: Oct 2011
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Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 5:55 AM, April 28th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So sorry you are going through this....what a Nut Job!

((((huge hugs))))

~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25435 | Registered: Sep 2005
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 6:16 AM, April 28th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's a real mess. I get weepy just thinking about it.

The time leading up to my D was the hardest time in my life.But now, 6 months after and I finally feel like I did 15 years ago before I got with this POS.

Your day will come, too. Thank GOD you have some $ to keep in an account for security.

Also, when I would get really down, I would look online for places to take my children when the D was all over. Even a city just a few miles away is a change in scenery. If your children are in school, can you just take off the first week of summer vacation to ANYWHERE?? It really really helped me to travel back to my hometown for 1 week and chill with old friends and family.

It's almost behind you!!!!! You can do this!!!!!!

me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2202 | Registered: Jan 2012
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Member # 38509
Default  Posted: 12:06 PM, June 12th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lastly, I would just like to add that he requested a list of every item of clothing I've purchased since 1996

Any judge or lawyer worth a damn will look at this request from him and say, "really??"

You don't give him a damn thing unless your lawyer says so, and even then you let YOUR lawyer talk to him or his lawyer. DO NOT tell him anything. If he asks anything of you, tell him to talk to your lawyer or send it to your lawyer.

AND a written rationale for why I should get to keep my small inheritance from my parents - money that I brought to the marriage, and which was never mingled with marital funds.

You don't need to give him a written rationale of jack.

Just have your lawyer document when you received the money, and let him/her deal with your asshat of a STBX. And in any case, the answer is easy. You received that money before you were married. He isn't entitled to any of it OR any interest off that money over the years even if the interest was accrued during the marriage.
But again, don't tell him that, tell your attorney.

Again, do NOT talk to him about anything. Thats what your lawyer if for.

ANY question your STBX has with regards to the divorce you DO NOT answer. ANYTHING you say could be used against you.

If he can't get his hands on it, he'll just use it to lower support for his kids

He is pissing in the wind. Your lawyer should NOT negotiate on this one bit. The states set a percentage of net income based on how many children. It does not matter. He owes what he owes and it has nothing to do with you keeping a pre-marital inheritance.

[This message edited by nofool4u at 12:10 PM, June 12th (Wednesday)]

Me - fBS

Posts: 210 | Registered: Feb 2013
Topic Posts: 28
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